tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16518590804909344342023-11-15T22:14:13.868-08:00Another Geeky BlogKavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.comBlogger60125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-86625881855403988372019-05-21T12:23:00.000-07:002019-05-21T13:32:24.941-07:00Game of Thrones's Final Season Was Bad And Should Feel Bad<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiB9lYUe_RXpKF6DHGXRYRdpscwy5nyj4o6CrnCPUqpdYLE7H868Yxdz15JKqhv7iq5TLSgnNRpbmHLsCNSfOo9B_rWhBHyVlqvh7iePvslR8twL4cOiLXQRiFLDzLuk2dcofmaNtEeuHY/s1600/Game+of+Thrones+Logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="630" data-original-width="1200" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiB9lYUe_RXpKF6DHGXRYRdpscwy5nyj4o6CrnCPUqpdYLE7H868Yxdz15JKqhv7iq5TLSgnNRpbmHLsCNSfOo9B_rWhBHyVlqvh7iePvslR8twL4cOiLXQRiFLDzLuk2dcofmaNtEeuHY/s400/Game+of+Thrones+Logo.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
I've been disappointed with television shows before. I stuck with <i>Heroes</i> all the way through the revival a few years ago, and it never rose above mediocrity after the first season. I was there when <i>Lost</i> revealed that the island was built around a Hellmouth, and they never bothered calling in Buffy to deal with it. <i>House of Cards</i>, initially one of the best shows I had ever seen, was slowly degenerating even before Kevin Spacey tried to deflect from underage rape accusations by coming out as gay. I've been disappointed before. But, until <i>Game of Thrones</i> Season 8, Episode 5, I'd never been outright <i>angry</i>.<br />
<br />
Of course, there has been a ludicrous amount of analysis and thought devoted to Danaerys' sudden turn from self-righteous crusader to genocidal maniac, and much of it is far better than what I could offer. Honestly, though, it wasn't Dany's actions after the bell rang that infuriated me. I'd been watching with clenched fists and narrowed eyes since Drogon dove out of the sky and destroyed the entire Iron Fleet with dragonbreath inexplicably upgraded to deal massive concussive force. The sudden power-up would have been bad on its own, but combined with the entire structure of the season thus far... well, let me explain.<br />
<br />
In both the books and the HBO show, the first thing we ever see is an attack by mysterious creatures from the far North, beyond the Wall. Throughout the entire story, while wars are waged and kings are made and then murdered, Jon Snow had been at the Wall, reminding us over and over that all of that Southron drama only mattered insofar as determining how much help the Night's Watch would have in protecting the Seven Kingdoms from the dead. The White Walkers were the looming threat, advancing ominously closer, and Westeros was not prepared to even recognize the threat, let alone resist it.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
So, when we left our heroes and villains at the end of Season 7, I had predictions and expectations. I figured that Cercei's refusal to support the coalition against the dead would come back to haunt her; that without her support, Winterfell could not possibly be held. Jon, Dany, and a fraction of their forces would escape to the south, and the final battle against the Night King would position the handful of survivors to duke it out for the Iron Throne. Episode 3 would be the Battle of Winterfell, Episode 4 would be the retreat south and the preparations for the rematch, Episode 5 would be the final struggle, and the finale would be politicking and maneuvering and murdering among whoever survived to seize power.<br />
<br />
And mind, I wasn't completely attached to this idea. I wasn't about to demand my way or the highway. Sure, Seasons 6 and 7 had dipped in quality, but with two years to produce the final series of episodes, I figured that whatever happened would make for a satisfying conclusion to this dense, complex drama of intrigue and valor and betrayal and love.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXB6yyQghIVB_bTRpZGTq2Yy9sLgjaDHIzyJapySW9FkOyY-a4NFqY4A91MJjqsqdRdQZdlU9tjCl5pNL6LhrIDioI7z3ctgI8VH9ebMbl8aGtGXoEtwxVa2JFlIP5iaiMRIfBoOufaetK/s1600/Game+of+Thrones+-+Jon+Sucks+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="960" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXB6yyQghIVB_bTRpZGTq2Yy9sLgjaDHIzyJapySW9FkOyY-a4NFqY4A91MJjqsqdRdQZdlU9tjCl5pNL6LhrIDioI7z3ctgI8VH9ebMbl8aGtGXoEtwxVa2JFlIP5iaiMRIfBoOufaetK/s320/Game+of+Thrones+-+Jon+Sucks+1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Hey, great job lighting the trench, Melisandre! Wish<br />
there <span style="font-size: 12.8px;">was </span><span style="font-size: 12.8px;">some way I could have helped."</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
And then the Battle of Winterfell actually happened. And it was dumb. Incredibly dumb. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EA5mJRFaI8c" target="_blank">Again, others have done better work analyzing it than I possibly could</a>. But the biggest, dumbest thing, in my eyes, was that the Night King was killed and the Army of the Dead destroyed.<br />
<br />
Now, before anyone stops me: I liked the surprise twist of Arya being the one to kill him. It subverted expectations well. All the speculation about heroic narratives and the Azhor Azhai prophecy led to a lot of predictions about who (if anyone) would actually defeat the Night King, but, as far as I know, not a one of the series' community of intellectuals predicted it would be Arya. And that's cool. Subverting our expectations in service to one of the big themes of the story--that prophecy and destiny are bullshit--is exactly the sort of move that made events like Ned's execution and the Red Wedding such important moments in television history.<br />
<br />
The problem was... it happened in Episode 3.<br />
<br />
We still had three episodes to go. And who was left to challenge Team Danaerys? Just Cercei. Cercei and her mercenaries who couldn't even be bothered to bring their elephants. Cercei and her mad scientist and zombie bodyguard and the lamest Jack Sparrow impersonator in existence. Cercei, who, compared to the Army of the Dead, was about as threatening as chihuahua barking at you from behind a six-foot fence.<br />
<br />
We seemed to be headed for an anticlimax. But then, in Episode 4, we saw Euron and his teleporting viking pirate fleet kill Rhaegal, one of Dany's two remaining dragons. Efficiently and brutally. Sure, it was bullshit that no one saw him. <a href="https://bgr.com/2019/05/10/game-of-thrones-stupid-dragon-death-explained-with-science/" target="_blank">It was bullshit that the scorpions could launch their bolts with almost enough force to reach orbit</a>. But hey, for all the episode's other problems, it did the job of convincing us--or, at least, me--that the writers really wanted us to take Cercei seriously. That they wanted us to believe she had a chance.<br />
<br />
Not that she actually <i>did</i>, logically speaking, but that the writers wanted us to <i>think</i> she did.<br />
<br />
It seems like a subtle difference, and I feel like I need to try and dig deeper to explain. The writing on <i>Game of Thrones</i>, at least since leaving the books behind, was not particularly concerned with concrete, logistical thinking or storytelling. People started being able to cross the continent easily and almost instantaneously. Stannis, a veteran commander, lost to Ramsay Bolton, and then Jon Snow won despite blundering headfirst into a cavalry charge and somehow getting flanked by heavy phalanx infantry. A team of adventurers formed to travel north of the Wall to capture a wight, got stranded on a frozen lake, somehow survived there for at least a week while Gendry ran to get help (or, people teleported like crazy; those are the only two explanations), fought a big battle in which only one of them died, Jon fell into the lake, was inexplicably rescued by his undead Uncle Benjen with no explanation for what Benjen was or why he was there, and then rode all the way south to the Wall through freezing temperatures while, again, soaked from falling into frigid water.<br />
<br />
Logic, in other words, had long since been abandoned in the name of spectacle and surprise twists that would make M. Night Shyamalan roll his eyes. So, hell. If the writers wanted to make Cercei a serious threat, even though there was no logical way for her to be one, then I was prepared to sigh and go along with it. At least there'd be another cool battle, right?<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>FUS RO DAH MOTHERFUCKERS</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
And that brings us back to Episode 5 of the season, "The Bells," and why I was angry at it well before the titular bells started ringing. Because, after all the contrived bullshit the writers had pulled to move the story to this point, they abruptly felt compelled to contrive even <i>more</i> bullshit (Drogon's super breath) to get back to where they'd have been if they hadn't tried so hard to yank our chains in the first place.<br />
<br />
Then Dany goes mad, I guess. She decides to start murdering civilians. Sure, she'd always avoided doing that. Sure, she chained her dragons up that one time when they <i>might</i> have cooked and eaten a little girl. Sure, her source of anger was Cercei and the Red Keep, not the general populace of King's Landing who had <i>already surrendered. </i>But she kept a poker face while watching her brother's brain cook, so she was always crazy, I guess.<br />
<br />
The finale happens. Jon stabs Danaerys. He's sad. Drogon doesn't kill him for some reason. The Unsullied, who were just executing prisoners of war in the streets, don't kill him for some reason. Tyrion puts together a council of electors and convinces them that the creepy wizard kid should be king now. Jon gets to live with the wildlings. Sansa gets to rule an independent North. Arya doesn't really have an end goal anymore, so they just stick her on a boat and send her away. Tyrion gets to hang out with his friends. Yay, happy endings.<br />
<br />
The finale was bland and boring and the only good things about it were Peter Dinklage's acting, Drogon's imitation of Simba, and Ghost finally getting scritches. But it's just as dumb as the rest of the season. Why?<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>The Dothraki are still in Westeros. The pillaging, raping, brutal barbarian Dothraki who were loyal only to Danaerys. They've probably taken over the Westerlands, since the Lannisters' entire military strength was wiped out, and Tyrion's too busy running things in the ruins of King's Landing to see to his ancestral holdings.</li>
<li>Bran will die someday. Don't believe that "oh, the Three-Eyed Raven lives for hundreds of years and/or can transfer his consciousness" crap. Bloodraven, the previous guy, was plugged into a weirwood hidden deep in the North to survive, and he was only about 30 years older than Maester Aemon. The South doesn't have weirwoods, outside of a few small castles. And even if Bran trains up a new Raven and transfers his collective memories to him, so what? The council of lords will elect the next king, and it won't be long before people decide they'd rather have a pliable, human king who they can manipulate rather than an all-seeing tree god.</li>
<li>What <i>that</i> means is that, when Bran dies, there will be a new king... one who probably won't have any real ties to the North, and who might want to rule the Seven Kingdoms, not the Six. Sansa is now Queen of the North, meaning she rules the poorest and most sparsely populated region of Westeros, most of the leadership of which has been wiped out in one of the several wars that have been waged there over the last decade. The minute Bran dies, she or her heirs better start calling the banners and hoping they answer.</li>
<li>Most of the Unsullied are going to die, badly. There isn't a lot of canonical information about Nath, but from <i>The World of Ice and Fire</i>, we know two things: the people there are pacifists, and they can afford to be pacifists because the butterflies that infest the island carry a deadly plague that kills anyone who hasn't already developed an immunity to it. Given what a dick Grey Worm became at the end, maybe it's karmic justice. Or maybe the writers couldn't keep track of the <i>literally two things there are to know about Nath</i>. Or maybe they didn't care, and wanted Grey Worm to have a bittersweet ending, worldbuilding and continuity be damned.</li>
<li>Bronn, the mercenary who rose to become Lord Paramount of the Reach, the richest and most populace land in Westeros and one of least affected by the war, at least in terms of manpower, is going to be expected to fund the costs of the Six Kingdom's rebuilding largely from his own treasury? Yeah, that is going to end badly. Either he's going to use his position as Master of Coin to seize massive amounts of power and influence, or he's going to make himself ludicrously rich through some kind of pyramid scheme that leaves Westeros' economy absolutely devastated.</li>
<li>Actually, Bronn probably won't have the chance. When the Gardeners were wiped out by Aegon the Conqueror, it took the Tyrells more than a century to solidify power over the Reach. Most folks considered them upjumped peasants; the only reason they became the Lords of Highgarden was that they surrendered the castle to Aegon when he arrived. Back then, the Tyrells had the backing of a king with three dragons. Bronn has the backing of a king with some birds. The Tarlys are gone, except for Sam, but the Hightowers of Oldtown might have something to say about this cocky mercenary dude suddenly being their boss. Especially when he doesn't have any heirs yet.</li>
<li>Arya's probably going to die. None of her Faceless Man skills have prepared her to survive at sea. If a big storm hits, being able to steal someone's face isn't going to save her from drowning. Or dying of thirst or starvation if the winds calm while she's hundreds of miles from the nearest shore. She'll probably be able to handle a mutiny, at least, but then... who's gonna sail the ship when half the crew's stabbed?</li>
</ul>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZQXIsxnUsEKvSN9Bh3ASubgzP3jSHz_cqEpG6hI3X3UwgqPe1uSqqSzs7zfY1G5VjgyuA-bHfsLzN2zXYwlJtlV_Qmqod1TXl2c6aUM6TS2w_qPPMG3JBtmFl7BFpIAfJP1eA6J6y_HSS/s1600/Game+of+Thrones+-+Gendry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="420" data-original-width="624" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZQXIsxnUsEKvSN9Bh3ASubgzP3jSHz_cqEpG6hI3X3UwgqPe1uSqqSzs7zfY1G5VjgyuA-bHfsLzN2zXYwlJtlV_Qmqod1TXl2c6aUM6TS2w_qPPMG3JBtmFl7BFpIAfJP1eA6J6y_HSS/s320/Game+of+Thrones+-+Gendry.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ya did it, buddy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
I'm sure there are more terrible consequences to be considered, as well. In fact, Gendry is probably the only character getting to settle into a stable and comfortable life, providing he doesn't screw anything up too badly. All the other Baratheons are dead, and, even if he <i>was</i> legitimized by someone who was only really Queen for about two hours, he's big and swings a hammer and can fight, which is about all the Storm Lords really need in a Lord Paramount. Good for you, Gendry! Sucks that your lady friend is going off to die at sea, but you're officially the only person in Westeros to get an actually happy ending.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Thanks for sticking with this long, long rant. It feels good to get this out of my brain and onto digital paper. I might do some more writing on the subject, like how I would have done the final season (or certain story arcs throughout the last few seasons) differently. But first, I needed to get my gripes organized and put out there for the world to see.</div>
Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-1271914533390504672019-03-12T08:46:00.000-07:002019-03-12T19:54:17.724-07:00From Sandpoint to Sakakabe: A Jade Regent Campaign, Part 9<h3>
<b><span style="font-size: small;">STARDAY, 2 ROVA, 4711 A.R. (Continued)</span></b></h3>
Four costumed corbies drop their prop weapons and lunge at the party. One, dressed in a fine (if filthy) pink gown with a conicle, veiled hat is decapitated by Molido almost immediately. A horrified shriek emerges from the beak of a corby dressed like a young noble man: "My fiance! NO!"<br />
<br />
Zaphkael quickly realizes that the odd man on the throne is using some sort of magic to project his voice through the oddly silent corbies. As they attack, shrieking, theatrical lines emerge from their throats. "I shall avenge the princess!" "How dare you filthy ruffians harm my daughter!" "I shall slay thee in my beloved's name!"<br />
<br />
Before long, another of the corbies are dead, and two more--the princess' father and husband-to-be--are unconscious. The red-faced man shrieks in annoyance, and, as Hanzo looses an arrow at him, he casts a spell and disappears. The adventurers are left alone in the throne room.<br />
<br />
Amidst the combat, their bound trogdolyte prisoner was murdered by one of the corbies, but the two unconscious "actors" are quickly bound, gagged, and dragged out to the courtyard to be locked in one of the empty guard towers. The heroes consider their options--pursuing the red-faced man or focusing on finding the "hidden vault" referred to in the letter to Ameiko's father--and decide to focus on the latter. Reasoning that vaults are most likely to be underground, they return to where they first encountered the trogdolytes and head down the stairs.<br />
<br />
They encounter a group of trogdolytes at the far end of a long room, and the lizard-like creatures quickly retreat down a side hallway. The adventurers sense a trap, but pursue them regardless. Molido, leading the charge, walks right into the center of a pillared chamber and is immediately surrounded by trogdolyte attackers, including their apparent leader, an albino trogdolyte wielding a nasty-looking morningstar.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Molido throws himself into a rage and tears into his foes while his companions fight to reach him. The battle takes a toll on the half-orc, but he stands strong through it all. Eventually, all of the trogdolytes lay dead at the adventurers' feet.<br />
<br />
Battered but still restless, the heroes decide to press on. In one room, they find a large and abandoned kitchen, though a nearby side room reveals an ambulatory lump of mold that begins creeping towards them as soon as they open the door. Deciding that sapient fungi is too great a threat to face directly, the group throws all of their carried vials of alchemist fire into a bag, whips them around like a sling, opens the door, chucks the sack of combustibles into the room, and slams the door shut. After a few minutes of waiting for the acrid, foul-smelling smoke to clear, they open the door to find the room charred, blackened, and utterly devoid of life.<br />
<br />
A passage to the north leads to a natural cavern system blocked by a large, iron door. After failing to pick the lock, the group remembers the rusted iron key they found, and, using great care and delicacy, they manage to unlock and open the door without breaking the fragile key. They follow the passage to another locked door--this time, despite their best efforts, the key crumbles as it unlocks the way--and beyond that to a small smuggler's cove, barely accessible from the sea and completely concealed when the tide rises. Molido and Hanzo realize that this must be the secret passage they had been looking for--and that, if they'd been able to survive the frigid water a little longer, they would have found it.<br />
<br />
Slightly embarrassed, the group doubles back to the kitchen and presses on. They next find a large, subterranean cistern fed by a thin trickle of water seeping through the stone above. They also find that the cistern chamber adjoins a prison area, and that prison area seems to be guarded by an especially large and foul-looking ogre. Knowing the vile nature of such creatures, even Brixton has no reservations about enacting a plan to dispatch the unwary ogre quickly and ruthlessly.<br />
<br />
After placing a tripwire across the doorway, Molido calls out to the ogre to get its attention. It stares at him in surprise for several moments before the half-orc's taunts fully register, and then it howls in fury and charges. It completely fails to observe the tripwire, and further fails to keep its balance, sprawling on the floor right between the other, hidden adventurers. It takes each member of the group a couple of stabs to keep the ogre down, but it never has a chance to retaliate before it dies.<br />
<br />
The ogre turned out to be guarding a single prisoner: a human woman, blonde of hair and sturdy of build, named Kelda Oxgutter. The viking woman was the sole survivor of the small crew of scavengers who landed at Brinewall two weeks prior, and was the one who finally slew the sea drake that attacked her ship. Kelda stubbornly decided to press further into the keep, hoping to find enough treasure to make the loss of her companions worthwhile, but she was swiftly overwhelmed by the creatures there and captured. She explains that the red-faced master of the castle is named Kikonu, but something even worse dwells in the depths nearby.<br />
<br />
Riding high after their success thus far, the adventurers free Kelda, restore her property, and decide to press on further. The eastern wall of the prison block is broken, revealing a natural cavern extending into darkness behind it. It continues on for only ten feet or so before dropping precipitously to another ledge fifteen feet below, which then drops again. The passage ultimately opens into a large cavern, dappled with odd,glowing motes of light, and dominated by a crude stone statue of a bird-like creature with four wings. As the group enters the chamber, a low chanting, as if from dozens of voices, begins in a strange, foul language. They scan the room, weapons drawn, looking for the source of the noise. And then a pillar of negative energy slams into them, disorienting Brixton, Zaphkael, and Molido. (And mildly inconveniencing Hanzo.)<br />
<br />
A hideous abomination descends from the stalactites above on crimson, bat-like wings. It looks something like an octopus, but with ten tentacles, two yellow eyes, and a wide, fanged mouth. It cackles in glee as the ominous voices reach a crescendo, and in one of its tentacles appears a wand which it points at Molido. Two lances of flame shoot out, striking the half-orc squarely and burning through his armor.<br />
<br />
Hanzo fires an arrow and misses, while everyone else hurries to produce their own ranged weapons. More fire and cackling rain from above. Finally realizing that they may be overmatched, the adventurers call a retreat and scramble back towards the series of ledges that brought them here.<br />
<br />
The thing follows, closing in to use its savagely barbed tentacles as well as its wand. It strikes Molido with a venomous spell, weakening the half-orc, but it turns its attention to Zaphkael as the others manage to scale the cliffs to safety while the cleric, weighed down by his armor and lack of training, struggles to follow.<br />
<br />
The creature's tentacles wrap around Zaphkael, slicing him open as they constrict, as they pull him closer to the thing's wide, grinning maw...<br />
<br />
Molido leaps back down to save his friend, hacking away at the creature to distract it. With healing from Brixton and assistance from Hanzo and Kelda, Zaphkael manages to escape to safety. Molido himself takes further damage and nearly succumbs, but manages to break the tentacles' grasp on him and make a run for it.<br />
<br />
To their relief, the monster does not pursue. Instead, the caverns ring with a triumphant, mad chorus of laughter.<br />
<br />
The heroes retreat to a safer area and prepare to rest and recuperate, humbled by the first challenge thus far that they could not easily dispatch.Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-7596181747332865732019-03-07T10:00:00.000-08:002019-03-07T10:00:00.357-08:00From Sandpoint to Sakakabe: A Jade Regent Campaign: Part 8<h3>
STARDAY, 2 ROVA, 4711 A.R.</h3>
Not long after sunrise, the party begins searching along the coast for any sign of a secret entrance into the castle. After inspecting the sides of the lagoon and the east-facing wall of the harbor, Hanzo and Molido decide to swim out into the sea, hugging the shoreline. They're out in the cold sea water for around half an hour without success before deciding to scale the cliff up to the castle's entrance.<br />
<br />
When they reach the top, Molido heads down the road to report to Brixton and Zaphkael about their lack of discovery, while Hanzo stays behind to watch the keep's front gate. A few minutes after they part, the old iron gate swings open, and a trio of dire corbies armed with crossbows and a longspear march out, leaving the gate wide open behind them.<br />
<br />
Molido gathers the others, and they return to Brinewall Castle. To Hanzo's surprise, they didn't encounter the corbies on their trip. They investigate the road leading from the keep to the village and find tracks leading into the dense woodlands south of the castle. Wary of an ambush, but presented with a temptingly open door, the party decides to head into the castle's gatehouse and lock the gate behind them.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Once inside, the group decides to send Hanzo off to do some scouting. Finding a ladder leading to a tower with access to the castle's walls, the ninja surveys the keep's general layout and also spots two dire corbies patrolling the walls at a meandering pace. Utilizing his training, he sets ambushes for the both of them, dispatching the unsuspecting creatures with deadly blows from the shadows. He then takes a single finger from each of the corbies as trophies.<br />
<br />
With the lookouts dispatched so quietly, none of the castle's inhabitants have been made aware of the party's presence. They head into the courtyard unopposed. Brixton finds another guard tower and uses pitons to secure the trap door leading from the floor above before declaring it safe enough to stable his horse. They then proceed into what clearly looks to be a stable along the castle's western wall.<br />
<br />
Hanzo kicks the doors open dramatically, and across the room, a gangly, purple-skinned humanoid with a sagging belly shrieks in alarm. It opens the stable door nearest it and calls for whatever is inside to attack. As it turns out, the creature is an ettercap named Flatbelly, and, alongside its pet giant wolf spider, it launches itself into battle against the heroes. It does manage to inflict its venomous bite on Molido, slowing his reflexes, but the pair are dispatched without too much trouble.<br />
<br />
Exiting the stables, the group debates whether or not to enter the main keep through the front doors, or to use one of the side entrances Hanzo spotted early. They decide that discretion is the better part of valor, and head for a door near the keep's northern wall. Opening it, they find a monitor lizard halfway through molting--its skin is peeling forward from its tail, obscuring its eyes and giving it a rather unsettling appearance. Brixton, however, approaches the creature with an offer of food and a stream of soft, comforting words. The lizard accepts the meat and munches it contentedly while the paladin cuts away the loose skin and throws it aside. The newly-shed beast is happy to follow additional treats out into the courtyard, and Brixton closes the door behind it.<br />
<br />
As Hanzo inspects the next door, he catches a whiff of a strong, reptillian scent wafting from behind it. Opening the door, they find a pair of trogdolytes lounging on the remains of a long table and benches. They rise at the intrusion, reaching for weapons. Brixton attempts to communicate a desire for peace, but the lizard-like humanoids don't understand Common; Zaphkael attempts to translate Brix's words into Draconic, but the passion and nuance in the paladin's words doesn't carry through the cleric's awkward and monotone relation. Molido, satisfied that attempts at diplomacy have failed, cuts one of the trogdolytes down. The others manage to subdue the other nonfatally, binding him in rope before healing him back to consciousness for interrogation.<br />
<br />
Asked about the master of the castle, the trogdolyte volunteers to guide the group to him. This turns out to involve opening a single door. Beyond, a long hallway lined with faded tapestries leads to an elevated dais and a large throne carved with the sigil of Brinewall. Upon it lounges a thin man bedecked in finery, with crimson skin, a shock of white hair, and a long, sharp goattee. Before him stand a quartet of dire corbies dressed in worn and tattered theatrical costumes; one wears a the powdered wig and long coat of a Taldoran noble; another wears a thin breastplate with a large bassinet helmet, its visor open to allow its beak to stick out; a third is dressed in what was once a fine doublet and vest, a tarnished silver rapier at his side; and the last wears a low-cut gown beaded with fake pearls and a long, conical hat with a thin veil hanging from its tip. The four seem to be engaged in some sort of theatrical production, croaking lines of dialogue in a crude attempt at Common, their pronunciations and cadences all badly off mark.<br />
<br />
The man bursts into high-pitched, manic laughter as he spots the heroes entering the throne room, and the corbies turn to regard them with expressions of both surprise and relief. "Well, well!" cackles the red man. "Visitors! Would you like to join our performance? The Lady Shiwassey was just about to be wed!"<br />
<br />
Without waiting for a reply, the man turns to his troupe of "actors." "New scene! Get them!"<br />
<br />
((Short entry. Our group gives combat what could be politely described as <i>generous amounts of tactical appraisal</i>.))Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-24645345868300792932019-03-06T10:00:00.000-08:002019-03-06T10:00:00.657-08:00From Sandpoint to Sakakabe: A Jade Regent Campaign: Part 7<b>FIREDAY THROUGH SUNDAY, 11-13 ARODUS, 4711 A.R.</b><br />
<br />
Preparations for the expedition to Brinewall begin, as Sandru, Brixton, Zaphkael, Molindo, and Hanzo decide how best to spend the 2,000 gold pieces Ameiko has volunteered to get Sandru's caravan moving as soon as possible. In addition to the adventurers, Sandru, and Ameiko, the group will be joined by Koya (Sandru and Zaphkael's adopted mother), Shalelu the elven ranger (Molindo's adopted big sister), and two brothers named Bevelek and Vankor Brati, who will be helping to drive the wagons. With the decision to add a second supply wagon to the caravan, and the need for a cook, Brixton and Sandru end up hiring a middle-aged dwarven couple, Baradrum and Aggaela Korrick, a cook and wagon driver respectively.<br />
<br />
Hanzo requisitions a special chest which keeps its contents frozen even in the warmest climates.<br />
<br />
Molindo, preparing for the harsh climes of the north, and despite it currently being the middle of summer, buys a variety of cold-weather gear--just in case.<br />
<br />
Zaphkael spends the three days brewing potions and scribing scrolls to prepare for the journey.<br />
<br />
Finally, after much debate, the group settles on how many provisions and trade good they should bring with them, in the hopes of turning a profit at Roderic's Cove, the last village they will pass through before reaching Brinewall.<br />
<br />
With everything arranged, the adventurers spend Sunday afternoon relaxing and enjoying themselves. The journey will take more than two weeks, by Sandru's estimates.<br />
<a name='more'></a><b>MOONDAY THROUGH SUNDAY, 14-20 ARODUS, 4711 A.R.</b><br />
<br />
The first three days of the journey are uneventful, as Koya's divinations predicted. The caravan arrives at the village of Galdur on the shore of Ember Lake, and take the opportunity to restock on provisions.<br />
<br />
The next day, the caravan enters the Churlwood. Their progress is slowed somewhat by the dense and winding forest. They reach the ferry to the village of Wolf's Ear, a somewhat disreputable hamlet, just before nightfall, and decide to visit. Brixton has the idea of potentially transporting prisoners for a fee as a means to pay for provisions, but while the local sheriff could actually use the help sending a pair of captured thieves to Riddleport, Sandru has made it very clear that he has no intention of passing anywhere near that hive of scum and villainy.<br />
<br />
Three more days of travel through the forest bring them to Rodric's Crossing, the last bit of civilization they will see for some time. Brixton manages to sell the trade goods (mostly glassware from Ameiko's family business) for a decent profit, and provisions are restocked in preparation for the long stretch of empty road ahead of them. By Sandru's estimate, there should be nine days of travel between them and Brinewall.<br />
<br />
<b>MOONDAY THROUGH OATHDAY, 21-31 ARODUS, 4711 A.R.</b><br />
<br />
The day after leaving Rodric's Cove, Molindo asks Koya if she foresees any danger in their future. She replies that she hopes everyone in the caravan is wearing good, waterproof boots. Four days out from Rodric's Cove, they reach a ford in the Velashu River--which is flooded with rushing waters, rather than the placid flow Sandru expected. Sending Shalelu out to scout for an alternate ford fails to pan out, and the group finally decides to take the risk of fording the river anyway. After battening down anything that might get swept away, they slowly and carefully pick their way across, and arrive safely on the other side. At this point, unfortunately, it's too late to continue much further before the sun sets.<br />
<br />
The next day, the group tries to make up for some of their lost time. Too focused on making progress to keep an effective watch, they ride right into an ambush. Human men and women in tattered leathers--either bandits or barbarians--crest the hills on either side of the caravan and rush in. Arrows zip back and forth, and steel clashes with steel. After several minutes of fighting, the bandits are dead or slain, though the caravaneers have suffered injuries and a few of the wagons are damaged. The group presses on for the rest of the afternoon, but decides to spend the next day conducting what repairs they can.<br />
<br />
The rest of the journey to Brinewall proves uneventful; while the group sees occasional packs of wolves and even a wandering hill giant, none decide to pick a fight with the somewhat battered caravan. The final few days of their journey, however, see Ameiko coming down with some kind of minor illness. She looks tired and worn, but insists that she's fine and should get over this bug soon.<br />
<br />
<b>FIREDAY, 1 ROVA, 4711 A.R.</b><br />
<br />
An hour or so past noon, the caravan arrives at a worn roadsign at a fork in the road. To the north, still hundreds of miles away, is Kalsgard, capital of the Lands of the Linnorm Kings. To the west, only a mile or so distant, is Brinewall. They've almost made it.<br />
<br />
Ameiko begins to shake violently, convulsing in her seat for half a minute before passing out. Everyone runs to her aid, with Brixton and Zaphkael calling on their knowledges of medicine and divine magic to deduce what has happened to her. They try carrying Ameiko away, but every step further from Brinewall sets her to spasming again. Koya produces a theory--that some spirit tied to Brinewall is trying to possess the girl.<br />
<br />
Lord Brixton decides that the proper course of action is to take Ameiko further into the town to see if she begins recovering. He, Zaphkael, Molindo, and Hanzo decide to set off immediately while Sandru, Shalelu, Koya, and the rest secure the area and circle the wagons.<br />
<br />
The road to Brinewall is heavily overgrown and does not seem to have been traveled in years. It's only half a mile or so before the path deposits the group on a small ridge overlooking the ruined town. Brinewall is abandoned and devastated, with collapsed buildings of crumbling brick and rotted wood lining the shores of both the town's harbor and a small inlet. A half-ruined lighthouse stands just to the west, and on the far side of the town, rising on a plateau that juts into the sea, looms a squat, solidly built castle.<br />
<br />
The adventurers head into the town, with Molindo, Zaphkael, and Hanzo on foot while Brixton rides his warhorse with Ameiko slumped unconscious in front of him. The girl stirs as they descend from the ledge an d begins to mumble something in Tianese. Hanzo translates it: "Grandfather waits in the dark, but knows not who he is."<br />
<br />
One of the first things the group sees is an out-of-place boat: a small longboat from the Linnorn Kingdoms, tied to a pier and partly submerged. The boat looks to be a recent addition to the town, perhaps having only been there for two weeks or so, and shows signs of damage from scorching lightning and rending claws. Any gear or valuable the longboat contained are gone, as are any signs of who the ship might belong to.<br />
<br />
The group soon after finds a temple of Desna that seems to have been demolished by something huge and angry, though the nearby graveyard is oddly clean and well-preserved, as if someone has been tending to it these long years. Even the unlocked iron gates leading to it swing open easily on oiled hinges. Before they can investigate further, however, Molindo notices something odd on the other side of the town's lagoon--some sort of large, green reptile lying on the beach, half-submerged in the water. He also notices a pair of smaller creatures swimming in the water nearby when their red-spined backs breach the surface.<br />
<br />
The group moves to investigate the beached creature. Zaphkael identifies it as a sea drake, an aquatic monster known for attacking fishing boats and breathing lightning. The connection to the Linnorm longship is obvious, and the beast seems to have been killed by several axe blows to the head. Molindo decides to push the beached monster further into the water, and does so with a mighty shove--but this immediately triggers a response from the red-spined creatures he saw before, which burst from the water and chitter up the beach towards the half-orc.<br />
<br />
Recognizing the odd, shrimp-like predators as reefclaws, Molido charges in. He dispatches both of them (with the assistance of a well-aimed arrow from Hanzo) by the time the rest of his companions arrive to help.<br />
<br />
After a bit more searching of the ruined buildings, the adventurers decide to head up to the castle proper. Brinewall Castle is a large structure, but not tall--it crouches on the plateau above the village rather like a large toad. Rather than a drawbridge or solid wooden doors, the castle's entrance is blocked by heavy iron gates. The gatehouse within is pitch black aside from the fading light pouring in through the bars. Molido, able to see in the darkness, approaches the gate and peers inside. Within, he sees a strange humanoid figure, like a muscular man with a bird's head, snoring gently with its feet on an old wooden table strewn with flecks of old meat. The half-orc pounds on the gate and demands entrance, causing the creature to fall backwards out of its chair and begin squawking a loud cry of alarm.<br />
<br />
Zaphkael, unexpectedly, recognizes the bird-man's language: Aklo, a tongue he speaks. He joins Molido at the gate and addresses the creature in its chosen language. The bird-man, surprised at this development, steps near the gate and is joined by a companion.<br />
<br />
The creature identifies itself as a "dire corby." It declares that the castle belongs to its master. When asked where he came from, the dire corby says that its kind always lived here, but the master made them free. They and their master were, apparently, also partly responsible for the destruction of Brinewall Village, though the master was the only one who remained here to rule. Thanking them for the information, Zaphkael explains all of this to the group and asks them to leave the castle be for now.<br />
<br />
They return to the village, and, realizing that they hadn't investigated the lighthouse yet, decide to make their camp there and watch the entrance. A cryptic muttering from Ameiko suggests to them that there may be a secret entrance to the castle revealed by the low tide, so they prepare to wake early and search the shoreline for any such ways in.<br />
<br />
At some point during the night, Brixton notices a rusted iron key sitting on a broken stone inside the lighthouse, which he is convinced was not there before. After confirming with Molindo that the key isn't an illusion, the paladin nervously picks the key up and examines it. It's in extremely poor condition, flaking at the touch, and likely to snap if used with too much force, but it does not seem to be enchanted, cursed, or otherwise nefarious. Satisfied, he returns to his watch, and the night passes uneventfully.Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-65141627103854043052019-03-05T10:00:00.000-08:002019-03-05T10:00:04.713-08:00From Sandpoint to Sakakabe: A Jade Regent Campaign: Part 6<h3>
OATHDAY, 10 ARODUS, 4711 A.R.</h3>
The night passes without incident, and come morning, the adventurers break camp and decide to head southwest, to the nearer of the two remaining spots circled on the fan-map. With Molido growing more confident in his survivalist skills and familiarity with Brinestump Marsh, they have little difficulty navigating the swamp's waterways until they reach the spot.<br />
<br />
They find another shipwreck, though unlike the flame-gutted remains of the first ship, this one seems to have been broken in half and stripped down to its skeleton. (The group suspects that the Licktoad goblins used wood salvaged from the wreck to build their village.) Submerged in the mud, they find a bronze nameplate naming the ship Kaijutsu's Blossom, and carved in a nearby tree--apparently by survivors of the vessel--is a rough map showing a path to a spot along the southern cliffs corresponding to the final "X" on the fan. Hanzo, recognizing the name "Kaijutsu," decides to dig the nameplate out of the mud and carries it to Proudstump's rowboat, intending to offer the piece to Ameiko as a gift. As he begins digging, however, three creatures rise from the sticky mud around the ruined ship: a trio a human skeletons, encrusted with filth, their jaws hanging loosely open in a silent shriek of challenge.<br />
<br />
In a brief and bloodless battle, the adventurers easily dispatch their undead foes, then proceed southward to their final destination.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
At the base of the cliffs, here rising nearly 60 feet, they find a small cave entrance nearly concealed by overgrown vines and shrubs. They push in, Molido leading with his darkvision, and find that the cave is fairly large and labyrinthine, with passages leading in various directions. Molido chooses to turn right and begin exploring in that direction first, and soon comes across a chamber covered in large amounts of webbing. The group finds a giant spider, nearly as tall as a man, clung fast to some sort of figure cocooned in webs. They approach as closely as they can before striking, and the combat is brief--the spider is easily cut down. A search of the room finds a few web-wrapped pouches containing handfuls of coin and gems, a pair of magic scrolls, and--upon checking the cocoon the spider was feasting on--a shriveled and very dead giant gecko.<br />
<br />
The next chamber the group finds contains a small underground lake, with an island filled with shimmering rock crystals growing from its center. Though Zaphkael senses no magic from the crystals, the group decides to investigate more closely, only to find that they have stumbled into the lair of a giant amoeba. The slime-like creature proves a more substantial foe than the spider, especially given the close confines of the room, but Hanzo is able to bring the creature down with a well-placed shot to the organism's nucleus.<br />
<br />
Continuing on, the group finds a large chamber, filled with water on one side, almost an underground beach. Four human skeletons lie or slump in various spots around the room. Each of them wears tattered and rusted armor of Minkai origin, and each bears a rusted wakizashi at their side. Hanzo, curious to see the maker's mark on these blades, moves to one of the skeletons and tries to pull the wakizashi from its grasp. The skeleton awakens, as do five others--three more on the beach, and two more rising from the shallow waters beyond.<br />
<br />
The group fights largely back-to-back, supporting each other as best they can. These skeletons, unlike the others they met earlier, are armed, and prove surprisingly deadly with their blades. Hanzo in particular tastes his fair share of rusted steel, though between the healing powers of Brixton and Zaphkael, he manages to survive the fight. When all six skeletons are finally laid low, the adventurers take a moment to recuperate before moving on to the next chamber.<br />
<br />
This room is significantly smaller. A pool of water fills the eastern side in a crescent shape, while stalactites hang just low enough to prove annoying to Molido and Brixton. A beautiful chest made of cherry wood and jade, seemingly untouched by the ravages of time, rests against the far wall. Sitting atop that chest, in full samurai regalia, a beautiful wakizashi resting across its lap, is another skeleton. As the group approaches, it draws its blade and stands, but does not move to attack. Instead, it points its sword at Molido in a silent challenge.<br />
<br />
The half-orc accepts, though the others stand ready to back him up should he need it. Fortunately, while the skeletal warrior does land two significant blows, Molido's massive axe and massive strength prove superior. The skeleton's helm is knocked from its head as its sternum and spine are shattered in a horrifically powerful blow.<br />
<br />
While Zaphkael tends to Molido's wounds, Hanzo inspects the chest for traps and finds none, though he does find it locked. Fortunately, a search of the area reveals a bronze key on a severed leather band, perhaps cut loose from the skeleton in his duel. Within the chest is a veritable fortune: mounds of silver and gold coins, jewels, magical potions and scrolls, a wand, a ring, and some non-magical but expertly made weapons and armor. On the skeletal samurai's wakizashi, Hanzo recognizes a small maker's mark--that of his famous ancestor, a swordsmith of great reknown. He claims the blade and the samurai's helmet, while the rest of the group takes the heavy chest out and back to the rowboat. (After a cursory exploration of the remainder of the cave simply reveals that they took the long way to the skeletons.)<br />
<br />
They return to Walthus Proudstump's shack, seeing as they have need to return the halfling's boat and inform him of Old Megus' apparent demise. The snake-loving warden is happy to see them, though sad to hear about his neighbor, and congratulates them on their victory against the Licktoads. He has a request of them, however; in the few days since he last saw them, he's encountered signs of the Soggy River Monster near his shack, and it's beginning to worry him. As he has a rough idea where the monster makes its lair, he asks the heroes to do him one last favor and see if they can deal with the creature before it comes after him. He offers to watch their hard-earned treasure and prepare some food for their trip back to Sandpoint.<br />
<br />
Though Hanzo is skeptical about leaving the group's newfound wealth with the halfling, the others have decided to trust Proudstump and agree to leave their winnings with him. They set off to where the warden believes the Soggy River Monster makes its lair, and, with some expert tracking by Molido, soon come across its "home:" a mass of leaves and mud and vines mounded together and hollowed out between three trees in a clearing.<br />
<br />
Seeing no sign of the creature nearby, Brixton volunteers to scout the mound's interior. Within, he finds a crude sort of altar with eight muddy spheres resting on it, a crude sleeping area, and an unconscious goblin with two large lumps on its head, hanging helplessly from the ceiling.<br />
<br />
This is Bob the Twice-Thumped, the last survivor of the Licktoad goblin tribe. Having been spared twice by the adventurers but lacking anywhere else to go, he has been wandering the swamps these last two days, drinking filthy water and eating whatever he can catch. The severe head trauma he had endured, combined with the might and mercy of the heroes he had twice been thumped by, had inspired him, and the seed of an idea was beginning to germinate in his oblong head: he would follow the adventurers to Sandpoint and beg to become their servant, learning their ways and becoming a powerful and noble hero himself. Before the idea could come to fruition, however, he stumbled into the lair of the Soggy River Monster, freshly returned from a hunt. Not being hungry at the moment, the creature stopped just short of killing the goblin, instead tying him up in his crude home and saving him for later. As darkness claimed him, poor Bob could only hope that the heroes would find him once again. He would repay them by serving them loyally and as capable as any brain damaged goblin ever could.<br />
<br />
Lord Brixton, seeing only an unconscious goblin, a threat to the people of Sandpoint and a creature with a legal bounty on its head, stabs Bob and cuts off his ears.<br />
<br />
((... Well, okay then.))<br />
<br />
The group decides to ambush the Soggy River Monster by setting fresh bait (in the form of a freshly-hunted squirrel) nearby and waiting to jump it. It takes nearly two hours, but, eventually, the creature does show up. Zaphkael's suspicions as to the creature's nature--that it is one of the Sinspawn that escaped from beneath Sandpoint during the events three years prior. Leaping into action, the adventurers cut the creature down before it has a chance to retaliate or flee, and claim its strange, skull-like head as a trophy.<br />
<br />
Closer examination of the mud-covered orbs in the monster's lair reveal them to be poorly-preserved humanoid heads, likely of the creature's victims. The group stitches together a few makeshift bags from the filthy bits of cloth and clothing scattered about, collect the heads, return to Proudstump for their (untouched) treasure, and set off for Sandpoint. The mysteries of Brinestump Marsh have been revealed (mostly), and the time to enjoy a large chest full of money is nigh.<br />
<br />
Sheriff Hemlock is relieved to hear that the skeletons are dealt with, recognizes the Soggy River Monster as a Sinspawn, and refuses to pay for Bob the Twice-Thumped's severed ears because the bounty was already closed with the death of Chief Gutwad.<br />
<br />
The group reconvenes at the Rusty Dragon, divvying up their loot and telling Ameiko about what they found. She's very interested to learn that, apparently, some retainers of her old family survived the shipwrecking storm that brought her father to Sandpoint; she's confused why they never found their way to the town, instead choosing to die in a cave just a few hours south. She asks to look at Hanzo's newly-acquired magical wakizashi, and, noticing something odd with the hilt, untwists it to find a letter hidden inside, written in Tian.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">My son, my heir. You know now that I have kept secrets from you. You were always a perceptive son, and while you may not understand my reasons for secrecy, I hope you realize that it was necessary. Know that I was not angry with you for opening the warding box--I was angry with myself for withholding the truth from you and forcing you to seek out what I should have given to you. The words I spoke to you were from anger with myself, and it shames me to think of them now. I write this note as an apology, and to beg you to leave these secrets to history.</span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The next few days will be the most important I have faced in many years. If our family's enemies have, as I hope, forgotten us, I shall reunite with you and your wife, and your mother and I shall reveal the truth to you. But if they still seek the contents of the warding box, I fear that I may not speak to you again. The box holds our family's greatest treasure, so I have returned it to Kortun's care, and it shall remain hidden in the secret third vault beneath Brinewall Castle--obscured from our enemies. I hope and pray I will not grant our foes the satisfaction of killing me themselves--if it comes to it, let my death, by my own hand, be my final act to protect you, so that our enemies believe our line ended.</span></blockquote>
<br />
I have instructed Tsutamu to keep this letter from you, delivering it to you only should I fail to return as I hope to. If I can, I shall reveal all to you myself. If I cannot, this final missive from a father to a son must suffice as an apology in place of an explanation, and you must destroy this letter, flee to the south, and never return to Brinewall. If our enemies find what I have hidden, there will be nothing here for you. If they do not, they will lie in wait forever for your return.<br />
<br />
I hope to see you again soon, my son. But my heart tells me I will not. I am sorry to have failed you. But I am proud of you, and I know you will survive this old man's shame. You are strong, and you must remain so. For if you are reading this and I am gone, know that our enemies will never stop searching for us, and that is why I cannot reveal the truth to you until I know there is no chance of them finding us again.<br />
<br />
Rokuru Kaijutsu<br />
Sunday, 29 Desnus, 4687<br />
<br />
Ameiko's eyes burn with curiosity and excitement. She looks at the adventurers, newly-formed but proven in battle, and smiles. "I'm going to Brinewall Castle. You coming with me?"Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-73732281759208833442019-03-04T10:00:00.000-08:002019-03-04T10:00:03.330-08:00From Sandpoint to Sakakabe: A Jade Regent Campaign: Part 5<h3>
WEALDAY, 9 ARODUS, 4711 A.R.</h3>
Despite their pockets being full of fresh coin, the group decides to forego spending it just yet and return to Brinestump Marsh to investigate the locations marked on the fan's map. They gather at the Rusty Dragon for a hearty breakfast before they set out, and soon receive news of the attack on the watchmen the prior evening. Brixton and Hanzo decide to speak to Sheriff Hemlock about the incident, while Zaphkael and Molido head to the scene of the crime to investigate.<br />
<br />
They learn roughly the same set of facts: the guard had just crossed the bridge south of town and was walking along the Lost Coast Road. Two figures emerged from the forest. The guard called a challenge, but they kept approaching until they entered the ring of his lantern's light and were revealed to be animated human skeletons. The guard skirmished briefly with them, receiving a cut on his arm from one of the creatures' fleshless fingers, but found his simple short sword to be largely ineffective against enemies with no skin or blood. He retreated across the bridge, back into Sandpoint, and the skeletons did not pursue him.<br />
<br />
Additionally, Zaphkael and Molido find the skeletons' tracks. After pacing up and down the river a few times, the undead turned and headed south along the Lost Coast Road, presumably back to Brinestump Marsh.<br />
<br />
Sheriff Hemlock expresses no particular concern about the skeletons; he believes that they realized the two of them couldn't possibly take on an entire, prosperous town, and turned back to their home. To be safe, he's informed the priests of the local Temple of Desna of the incident, but he doesn't expect any further trouble.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Brixton and Hanzo walk to the southern bridge to find that Molido and Zaphkael have drawn a crowd of admirers, almost despite themselves, when they were recognized as two of the heroes who brought down the Licktoad goblins. A farmer has volunteered two bales of hay for Molido to use to demonstrate his skill with his massive axe, and the half-orc is chopping merrily away, demonstrating a variety of cuts and slashes and feats of raw strength. Brixton, concerned, asks who the hay belongs to, and volunteers to pay for the damages, but the farmer feels he's gotten his copper's worth in entertainment.<br />
<br />
After sharing what they've learned, the adventurers once again embark along the Lost Coast Road towards Brinestump Marsh.<br />
<br />
Their first stop is the closest location that was marked on the fan, a site along the swampy coastline roughly halfway between Proudstump's shack and the location he indicated as Old Megus' home. They decide not to impose on the halfling's hospitality, instead cutting a path through the marsh straight towards what turns out to be the burnt-out husk of a merchant ship. (Hanzo reveals that he had actually come across this while piloting Proudstump's rowboat the previous day, but hadn't thought it worth mentioning.)<br />
<br />
A search of the ruined ship reveals nothing of value, though they do find evidence that some of the Licktoads' scavenged fireworks were used to set the vessel ablaze.<br />
<br />
The next two marked spots from the map are a fair distance to the southwest, farther into the swamp than they have yet been. They decide to retrive Proudstump's rowboat and take it to check on Old Megus, as he requested. Navigating the channels crisscrossing the swamp is difficult, but Molido's sharp eyes again prove their worth. The only difficulty they meet is with a giant leech lurking beneath a bridge, using the low verticle space to try and ambush prey. It fails to fill its belly before it's split open by Hanzo, Molido, and Brixton.<br />
<br />
They arrive at Old Megus' shack late in the afternoon to find it in an incredible state of disrepair. The walls and floors are dryrotted and sag beneath their feet. The doors are stuck fast, swollen with moisture. Tendrils and ropes of some unidentified moss hang from the ceiling, draped over decomposing furniture and slightly obscuring the myriad strange charms and fetishes sprinkled among them. Motes of dust hang in the air, shimmering slightly in the fading daylight. The whole place reeks of mildew and decay.<br />
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Concerned that the moss infesting the house might be poisonous, the adventurers decline to enter the building at first. Instead they call out to Old Megus and try and look through the few, grime-plastered windows present in the shack. Finally, lacking any response from inside, they enter the shack and begin exploring as much as they can, meeting resistance from every jammed door.<br />
<br />
While Molido and Zaphkael take the most direct route, Hanzo circles around and finds a rear door which he manages to batter open. Meanwhile, Brixton opts to inspect a nearby outbuilding, its walls crumbled and roof collapse, to see if he can find any sign of Old Megus there.<br />
<br />
The building is full of old crates and barrels stuffed with rotting foodstuffs, most of them chewed open at the base by rather large rats. Brixton enters carefully, looking for threats, and notices a rodent the size of a dog glaring at him from a sagging shelf, its red eyes flat with hatred and hostility. Before he can draw his sword, the dire rat and two of its companions rush the paladin, seeking to defend their home.<br />
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Brixton shouts for help, but soon finds he doesn't much need it. While Hanzo does manage to shoot one of the rats before the fight ends, Brix himself smites the other two without receiving a scratch.<br />
<br />
Inside the main house, Zaphkael and Molido explore an entry hall, a dining area, and a bedroom, finding no sign of Old Megus nor of anything valuable. Brixton's fight with the dire rats draws them outside, but too late to contribute to the battle. Rather than continue their exploration of the shack, the group concludes that Old Megus is most probably dead, and that they've done enough to report this to Walthus in good faith. They travel a short ways to the northeast, seeking dry ground and a defensible location, and make camp for the night.Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-12937499732217550522019-03-03T10:00:00.000-08:002019-03-03T10:00:04.694-08:00From Sandpoint to Sakakabe: A Jade Regent Campaign: Part 4<h3>
<span style="font-size: small;">MOONDAY, 7 ARODUS, 4711 A.R.</span></h3>
The party spends the day recuperating from their trouncing at Gutwad's hands. After expending their allotment of healing spells for the day, the party spends the afternoon hunting and fishing alongside Walthus Proudstump. At dinner, they tuck into a hearty meal, and begin planning their return to the Licktoad village come the morning.<br />
<br />
<h3>
<span style="font-size: small;">TOILDAY, 8 ARODUS, 4711 A.R.</span></h3>
Rested and ready for a rematch, the heroes prepare to face their foe. As they say their goodbyes to Proudstump and turn towards the marsh, they spot a traveler approaching down the New Fish Road. A human of Tian origin, he is clad in the simple garb of a peasant, with a wide-brimmed straw hat, and carries a bow across his back and a long, slightly curved sword at his side.<br />
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This newcomer introduces himself as Hanzo Hattori, using the Inner Sea's typical order of names. An old acquaintance of Ameiko's, he received word of the group's mission and was asked to check in on them. After introductions and a brief retelling of the story so far, Hanzo agrees to join the group in eliminating the goblins and splitting the bounty.<br />
<br />
Cutting across the marshland, avoiding alligators and hidden sinkholes thanks to Molido's expert eye, it only takes an hour or so for the adventurers to arrive at the Licktoads' village. Though the palisade and gate are still splintered and broken, the goblins have begun work on a much more important project: a mass of mud, moss, vines, and branches assembled into what could, if one were to squint, cock their head, and consume a large quantity of alcohol, be charitably interpreted as a statue of Chief Gutwad, standing triumphantly over his victims. It seems that Gutwad's inspiring victory of the heroes has vastly increased his status among the surviving members of his tribe.<br />
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Undaunted, Lord Brixton and Molido stride forward through the broken gates, while Zaphkael remains just out of sight behind the wall and Hanzo stealthily climbs to the roof of the nearest goblin hut. Brix calls out a challenge to Gutwad, offering him one final chance to surrender; two nearby goblins, who had been working unnoticed on the statue of their leader, jump out of their boots. One runs to tell the chief of the heroes' arrival; the other, whom they recognize as the goblin Molido had knocked unconscious in the previous battle, waves awkwardly at them and tries to make small talk.<br />
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Chief Gutwad soon appears, along with the surviving members of his tribe. But he is no mere goblin chieftan, no; he has proven himself to be Gutwad the Manslayer, Butcher of Humans, the Chosen of Lamashtu, and future ruler of a great goblin empire. In his magnificent benevolence, he offers Brixton and the others a chance to leave, unharmed, and to spread word of his glory. Brixton declines, and steps aside as Mojindo draws his warhammer and charges forward.<br />
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The battle is brief and bloody. The first casualty is actually the goblin Molido had bludgeoned nonlethally before; being unarmed, the hapless creature attempted to flee from the oncoming half-orc, only to be knocked unconscious once again by an almost absentminded blow from Molido's hammer.<br />
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Gutwad's minions rush to his aid, trying to interfere with the heroes' attacks and distract them for Gutwad's own. The Chosen of Lamashtu does score a few serious hits on Molido, narrowly avoiding the half-orc's counterattacks with the help of his warriors, but Brixton's oracular powers allow him to draw his companion's wounds onto himself, where he faces considerably less threat. (One goblin tried to leap from a hut onto his face, and landed on his sword instead.)<br />
<br />
Hanzo peppers the goblins from above, eliminating Gutwad's assistants one by one. Zaphkael wades into the melee, laying about with his own warhammer and dealing death to a pair of foes. Finally, Molido manages to pierce Gutad's defenses, dealing a relatively minor blow that nonetheless rattles the chieftan's confidence in his own divinity and grand destiny. He cries for his goblins to fall back to the "secret weapon," and darts into a hut and along the rickety bridges connecting them.<br />
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His escape is covered by one of his last remaining soldiers, who has retrieved one of the skyrockets which proved so deadly in close quarters before. Fortunately, the explosive is not packed so full of black powder as the last one, and though Molido and Zaphkael take minor burns, it isn't enough to put either of them out of the fight. While Hanzo's arrow strike the pyrotechnic goblin down, the others chase after Gutwad.<br />
<br />
Gutwad, increasingly frantic as his faith crumbles, scrambles across a bridge and opens a door to find Molido already waiting there, his mighty axe in hand. With a single swing that parts cleanly through the walls and doorjams on either side of the chieftan, the half-orc removes Gutwad's head (and most of his left arm).<br />
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The village goes quiet; every single one of the goblins, save the unfortunate soul now bearing two purple lumps on his skull, is dead. After taking a moment to relish their vengeful victory, the adventurers set about the tasks of collecting goblin ears and looting their village of anything valuable.<br />
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They find a total of twenty-eight fresh ears, on top of the ten slightly rotten ones they'd dug up before, and not counting the two still attached to Gutwad's head. They also find a massive stash of fireworks, with which they consider burning the village down--until Zaphkael points out that the rockets could be worth a decent sum to the right buyer. Finally, they find a chest, ornate but covered in grime, brine, and barnacles, the lock crudely broken open by some presumably dead goblin. Inside are piles of coins, a fancy hairpin, a small sack of finely-crafted shuriken, and an ornate fan with a map of Brinestump Marsh painted on its back. On the map, three locations are circled, presumably indicating something of importance to be found there.<br />
<br />
While they fully intend to investigate these areas, the group decides that the most immediate course of action should be returning to Sandpoint and claiming their reward. After failing to borrow a cart from Proudstump (and instead procuring a rowboat, which is then decided to be less than ideal for transporting the stash of fireworks), the group simply bundles up everything they can onto Molido's shoulders, sets the Licktoad village ablaze (after reviving and releasing Bob the Twice-Thumped) and heads back up the Lost Coast Road.<br />
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They arrive late in the afternoon, just in time for Brixton and Hanzo to speak to Sheriff Hemlock and present the bloody evidence of their victory. Hemlock is quite pleased with the adventurers' courage and thoroughness, despite the damage it has now done to his annual budget, and even offers to pay full price for the ears taken from the goblins who had been dead before the party met them. He expresses some mild concern when told that skeletons had been responsible for the initial attack on the Licktoads, and muses that he may have to post a bounty on human skulls next. He thanks Brix and Hanzo again, and the two head to the Rusty Dragon with a large pouch of gold coins in hand.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, Zaphkael and Molido have been looking for a merchant to buy their wares. While neither is particularly good at interacting with folks, Zaphkael has a keen eye for value and knows exactly how much the fireworks should be worth. After shopping around a bit, they're given a fair enough price for the explosives, and rendezvous at the Rusty Dragon with nearly as large a sack of gold as the other team's.<br />
<br />
Ameiko is there to greet the returning heroes with food and ale, along with her old friend and companion, Sandru Vhiski. In a show of gallantry, Brix offers her both the fan and, having recognized some of the designs on the chest as a similar to those seen on products of the Kaijutsu Glassworks, the fine chest as well. She graciously accepts, seeing the act as a gesture of kindness--while Sandru dryly observes it to be more of a very expensive act of flirtation.<br />
<br />
With bellies full and hearts cheerful, the heroes turn in for the night. Brixton and Molido stay at the inn, while Hanzo returns to his own home and Zaphkael decides to spend the night under the roof of his adopted mother, Koya, who has baked him cookies and is very proud of him.<br />
<br />
That night, just south of town, a guard is attacked along his patrol by a pair of skeletons.Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-54797610906896615652019-03-02T10:00:00.000-08:002019-03-02T10:00:03.241-08:00From Sandpoint to Sakakabe: A Jade Regent Campaign: Part 3<h3>
SUNDAY, 6 ARODUS, 4711 A.R.</h3>
Immensely grateful to the adventurers for saving his life (and the lives of his remaining pet snakes), and impressed by their humility and courtesy towards him, Walthus volunteers to guide the heroes to the Licktoad goblin's secluded village. He offers them a choice between a direct route over more dangerous terrain, or a roundabout route--back the way they came, then further down the Lost Coast Road, and finally along the Old Fish Road. Not being in any particular hurry, the heroes opt for the latter.<br />
<br />
Leaving an hour or so after sunrise, with full bellies and a new confidence in having overcome their first monster, the group spend the next several hours following Proudstump as he tells them about the swamp and his skill in, thus far, avoiding its more dangerous denizens. He expresses concern that the group found a trace of the Soggy River Monster so close to his home--the severed deer leg--as the creature usually keeps to the northeastern quarter of the swamp. He also asks the players to check in on his "neighbor," an elderly witch named Old Megus, who he explains has a somewhat sinister reputation but has never caused him any trouble. He hasn't seen or heard from Megus in several weeks, and is worried that the Soggy River Monster may have wandered south and attacked her.<br />
<br />
Finally, an hour or so after noon, the group reaches a fork in the road. Walthus tells them that the goblin village is just little further down the road. As he's still recovering from his fight with the monster who impersonated him, he's hesitant to join the heroes in battle, but they assure him that they will be fine. He does offer to at least remain here for them in case they need a guide, but, confident in their abilities, they ask him to return to his home and wish him well.<br />
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As they near Licktoad Village and the fog thins, they realize that the small fortress has been recently attacked. The gate in the wooden palisade surrounding the village has been shattered, and what looks like it was formerly a pig pen has been repurposed as a shoddy mass grave. Digging through it, the heroes find the corpses of five dead goblins, killed by some sort of slashing attack. They collect the goblins' ears, though Brixton is uncertain that they should be rewarded for goblins they didn't personally kill.<br />
<br />
Exploring the apparently deserted village a bit, Molido climbs onto the network of shoddy wooden bridges connecting the various buildings, all of which sit on wooden stilts five or so feet above the ground. He ducks to peer into one of the huts, and, thanks to his ability to see in total darkness, spots three goblins huddling together in the far corner of the building. He barks at them to come out and surrender. Terrified, the goblins announce that they won't be taken alive, and rush to attack.<br />
<br />
Sadly, frightened goblins are no match for adventurers, even inexperienced ones. Two of the goblins are cut down before the third can make a shocking realization: "Guys! These aren't skeletons! GET THEM!"<br />
<br />
Goblins begin erupting from various other huts around the village. In total, twelve more join the fray. Brix holds the rear, sword and shield flashing to intercept many of the goblins' flimsy blades. Molido holds the vanguard, shrugging off minor wounds and swarming goblins trying to pin him down. Zaphkael moves between them as best he can, learning two things about himself over the course of this battle: that he is not very good at casting arcane spells while wearing his chainmail, and that, while he is significantly smaller than Mo, he apparently excels at causing goblin bridges to collapse when he puts his weight on them.<br />
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The goblins, possessed of a sort of psychopathic bravery, do their best. Several leap from the bridges onto Molido, hoping to blind him by latching onto his face or deal extra damage by leaping from a height. One climbs to the roof of a hut and dives at the half-orc, sinking his makeshift blade through Molido's armor and deep into his shoulder, but dealing even more damage to itself through a bad landing.<br />
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Finally, with most of the goblins cut down, the rest panic and flee. Several head for the front gate and the relative safety of the swamp, but one runs to another hut and begins pounding on the door. "Chief Gutwad! Chief! They're worse than skeletons! Help!"<br />
<br />
This perks the adventurers' ears up. In addition to the bounty on goblin ears, Chief Gutward's head is worth a reward of 300 gold pieces. Chasing off the goblin knocking on the door, they array themselves for battle, and Molido hacks down the door.<br />
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Chief Gutwad is waiting for them. He has two more goblins with him: one is armed with what looks like a ballista bolt on a long, wooden stick. It lights the fuse, and the bolt launches in a trail of colorful flame, striking Molido in the chest and exploding in a deafening cacaphony of flame and sound. The party is badly injured by the explosion, but so is the goblin who fired the rocket without realizing he was standing far too close, and he hits the wall behind him with a sickening snap of a breaking neck.<br />
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The next goblin is armed with a colorful, striped tube. He lights the fuse the moment after the first rocket fires, but rather than a single projectile, a stream of colorful cinders fires out. Unfortunately, the goblin was caught off guard by the firework's recoil, and the cinders fail to burn any of the heroes.<br />
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Gutwad himself stands with a torch raised over a large bundle of colorful explosives. He announces to the heroes that if they do not retreat, he'll kill everyone in the room.<br />
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Molido, deaf from the first rocket's impact, does not hear this.<br />
<br />
He charges in, wielding a hammer and shield rather than his favored axe, and smashes the torch right out of Gutwad's hand. It lands behind him, sputtering. Gutwad shrieks in panic and makes a break for the secret escape door from his hut. Despite being a grotesquely obese example of goblinhood, he proves deceptively nimble, ducking beneath blows from the adventurers as they move to stop him.<br />
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Once clear of his "throne room," Gutwad draws his bow. Whatever else he may be, he's a skilled archer who excels at shooting humans. Unfortunately, he's down to only six arrows; he hasn't had a chance to restock since the attack on the village. His plan is simply to harrass the adventurers while he flees and regroups with his remaining goblins in the marsh.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately for our heroes, while they have proven themselves quite capable of dispatching typical goblins armed only with dogslicers, the challenge of a capable and ruthless goblin ranger proves insurmountable. Faster than most of his foes and blessed with some sort of demonic good fortune, Gutwad easily weaves through his opponents, firing most of his remaining arrows and doing grevious harm to Zaphkael and slightly-less-grevious harm to Molido. Drained of resources and hurting badly, the adventurers opt to withdraw for now, an unconscious Zaph slung over Molido's shoulder.<br />
<br />
They return to Proudstump's Shack by the safer route, arriving after sunset. The worried halfling offers them sanctuary for now, and the group can only hope that their next confrontation with Chief Gutwad will turn out in their favor.Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-39610616481156337532019-03-01T10:00:00.000-08:002019-03-01T10:00:00.810-08:00From Sandpoint to Sakakabe: A Jade Regent Campaign: Part 2<h3>
STARDAY, 5 ARODUS, 4711 A.R.</h3>
Following the Lost Coast Road south out of Sandpoint, the group reaches the edge of the Brinestump Marsh near noon. Perhaps the site of an ancient asteroid impact, Brinestump is ringed by a sheer, 40' cliffs. From above, it's a mass of unnaturally fertile trees and vines and shrubs, forming a nearly impenetrable green canopy pierced only by the sluggish brooks leeching off from the Soggy River as it flows into the sea. A thick layer of fog covers the ground, swirling especially thick near the sodden ground, and visibility beyond a few dozen feet is impossible. While not the largest or most famed swamp in Golarion, it has a sinister appearance and a reputation to match.<br />
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Following Ameiko's directions, our heroes follow a switchback path leading down the cliff to the New Fish Road, a soggy and overgrown route that leads the occasional fisherman willing to brave the marsh between various excellent fishing spots. They know that the road should end at the Warden's Shack, home of the halfling Walthus Proudstump, and set off at as quick a pace as they can manage between Brix's heavy armor and the path's treacherous footing.<br />
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It's not long into their journey that the swirling mists around their knees part just enough to reveal a rabbit... or rather, half of one. The creature seems to have been bitten cleanly in half, leaving the head and forelegs intact... but the rest of the rabbit has been shredded violently, with bits of blood and fur and bone scattered about the path. It's difficult to tell if the rear half of the rabbit was eaten, or merely torn apart for the sheer fun of it.<br />
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The encounter brings to mind a rumor Molido has heard several times: that Brinestump Marsh has become home to a mysterious creature known as the Soggy River Monster, preying upon lone travelers and vagrants who wander too near its lair.<br />
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They find further signs of the creature as they walk; a single footprint, sunk into the mud, of a strangely stretched human foot tipped with sharp talons. At one point, Mo sees a tall, pale, gangly creature staring at him from the edge of the mist, its eye black pits in a skull-like face. When he goes to point the creature out, it's gone, though they do find another footprint pointing to the east.<br />
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The Soggy River Monster is not the first true danger they meet, however. Crossing a vine-choked bridge, Mo is displeased to discover that one of the vines he was stepping upon was actually a very large and territorial constrictor snake. Though he was able to avoid its initial bite, the snake's fangs find him on their second try. The beast coils around him, preparing to crush the life from his bones. Fortunately, the massive half-orc forces the snake away from him long enough to break free. Rather than fight the creature, Lord Brixton suggests that the group simply circumvent it, as it was likely only protecting itself and its "spot."<br />
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Thanks to Molido's experience in tracking and exploration, diverging from the road does not lead to any mishaps. Once their detour is completed, they continue on towards Proudstump's shack. Just a few hundred feet away from their destination, however, they encounter another possible sign of the Soggy River Monster: the severed foreleg of a deer, again lying in the middle of the path amid a scene of gore.<br />
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They soon reach the Warden's Shack; a surprisingly large, if unimpressively decorated two-story home with a ten-foot wall surrounding what is, presumably, a garden or back yard. Brixton knocks on the door and politely announces himself and his companions, their affiliation with Ameiko, and their lack of ill intentions towards the halfling. They hear something fall and smash apart inside, perhaps a vase or a dish, and there's a pause of several seconds before a thin voice replies that he'll be right there.<br />
<br />
The door to the shack opens, and a halfling man with brown hair and stained clothing greets them. He asks the party what they want, and Brix explains their quest to defeat the goblins and that Ameiko led them to believe Walthus could help locate them. Walthus hesitates, clearly uncomfortable with his visitors, and Brix notices that he's keeping one arm, bandaged and bloody, behind his back. He volunteers to provide healing, and after a bit more hesitation, Proudstump accepts.<br />
<br />
Brix unwinds the bandages to discover a mess of dried blood covering a deep, slashing cut and various small puncture wounds. Walthus explains that a goblin attacked him while he was tending to his snakes, and while he drove the monster off, several of his pet vipers got loose in a panic and were now hiding around his house. When our heroes volunteer to come in and half, Walthus again hems and haws, trying to stress the danger the snakes might pose to any visitors and asking them to leave. Brix's ability to politely offer reasonable aid prevails, however, and the halfling finally steps back and invites them in.<br />
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Walthus asks Molido and Zaphkael to start looking in the walled back yard, where he keeps the snakes, to see if they can find any tracks. He asks Brixton to begin searching in the dining room. Suspicious of the halfling's behavior as they are, the group nonetheless acquiesces. As soon as Brix is out of sword range and the others are in the garden, Walthus slams shut the back door and bars it before reverting to his true form: a hunched, faceless little abomination with a vertical slit where its mouth should be and a long, rasping tongue.<br />
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Unfortunately for the creature, its plan immediately goes awry. At Brix's cry of alarm, Molido draws his massive axe and rips the door cleanly off its hinges with a mighty overhand slice, shredding the wood in an explosion of sawdust and shrapnel. Brix channels his Iomedae-given powers and smites the creature, while Zaphkael attempts to offer ranged support through a simple arcane spell... which fizzles as his heavy chainmail interferes with the delicate motions required.<br />
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The fight is brief, but bloody. Thanks to the healing Brix and Zaph offered it, it has much more stamina than it would have otherwise--though the lingering effects of vipers' poison and a tough fight earlier in the day still drag down its combat abilities. Though it manages to score a hit on Zaphkael and drain a bit of his blood, it's only seconds later that a combination of Molido's mighty axe and Brixton's shining sword put an end to the beast. (Brix stabs it again to make sure.)<br />
<br />
As the fight ends and the warriors tend their wounds, they hear movement from upstairs and a soft, male voice calling out, "Hello? Who's there?"<br />
<br />
This is the true Walthus Proudstump, halfling ranger and collector of pet snakes. He nearly breaks down with relief at the sight of the dead monster, and explains that it attacked him, killed several of his pet snakes, and nearly drank his blood before he managed to escape and hide in a secret room upstairs. In gratitude for his rescue, Proudstump offers the group a hot meal and a warm place to sleep, as well as a magical cloak from his adventuring days that should help protect them against spells, poisons, and other nasty things.<br />
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Weary and victorious, the heroes bed down for the night. (Aside from Zaph, who only requires two hours of sleep, and thus decides to spend the evening mending the shack's shattered back door.)<br />
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The night passes uneventfully, aside from the sudden, horrifying scream of a small animal in great pain, cut short with a sickening, wet crunch.<br />
<br />Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-66532607435591992812019-02-28T10:00:00.000-08:002019-02-28T10:00:00.783-08:00From Sandpoint to Sakakabe: A Jade Regent Campaign: Part 1<h3>
STARDAY, 5 ARODUS, 4711 A.R.</h3>
The Rusty Dragon Inn usually isn't too busy in the morning, aside from a few regulars and the occasional adventurers looking for work. It's a clean, colorful place owned and operated by people who love it dearly, and despite the somewhat disreputable clientele it often attracts, it's clean, it's warm, and the beer is only watered down on request.<br />
<br />
Two men stand across a round wooden table, looking at a notice warrant. Sherrif Hemlock has recently reinstated Sandpoint's old bounty on goblin ears, ten gold for each, and both men are interested in collecting. One is a half-orc, massive in scale, his trailworn clothing dark and simple and his long, black hair tangled and unkempt. His companion is nominally human, though his slate-gray skin and wine-colored eyes mark him as an unusual specimen of his kind. He fidgets with the silver pendant of Torag around his neck, clearly uncomfortable.<br />
<br />
These two men, Molido the half-orc and Zaphkael the human (... ?), have been trying and failing all morning to drum up interest among their fellow patrons to pursue the goblin bounty. Neither are particularly good with people; Molido inherited more than his fair share of orc blood, and Zaphkael has found the struggle to adjust to the "real" world significantly easier to hide from than to face head-on. In fact, he's only here because his adoptive mother, Koya, basically forced him to be.<br />
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The two have been hoping to speak to Ameiko Kaijutsu, the Rusty Dragon's owner, a beautiful and intelligent young woman of about the same age. Unlike them, Ameiko has lived the adventurer's life before, and would be a valuable asset to them if they could convince her to join. Unfortunately, between running her inn and her late father's glassworks, they've hardly caught more than a glimpse of her so far today.<br />
<br />
The small chime above the tavern's door rings, and the pair look up to see who has entered. To their surprise, no one has... until, several seconds later, the chime rings again as a tall, handsome man with a leonine mane of golden hair steps beneath it. Zaphkael recognizes him; they've met before, the last time this man, Lord Brixton VonDressler, came to visit Mother Koya. The two make eye contact and exchange nods of recognition, and Brixton, after ordering an ale, joins them at the table.<br />
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He explains that Koya requested his presence in Sandpoint, citing a Desna-granted vision that he would soon be involved in something important. Zaphkael and Molido outline the mission that they're hoping to embark on: venture into Brinestump Marsh and track down the Licktoad tribe of goblins which have recently been attacking caravans on the Old Coast Road with an arsenal of fireworks they had recently acquired.<br />
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Brixton agrees to lend them his sword, and Ameiko Kaijutsu finally makes a real appearance at her tavern. Delivering a platter of beer and food, the relatively seasoned ex-adventurer offers them some advice; find Walthus Proudstump, a somewhat antisocial halfling living in the marsh as its self-appointed "warden," and don't underestimate how dangerous goblins can be in large numbers. She tells the group that she'd actually like to accompany them, but the demands on her time from both the Rusty Dragon and the Kaijutsu Glassworks won't allow her to step away for an adventure right now. She does, however, volunteer to direct any young adventurers who might be interested in helping into the swamps after them as reinforcements.<br />
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After a meal and a brief arm wrestling contest against a local blacksmith's apprentice (which Molido generously lost to help the young man's self-confidence), the new team of adventurers set out to Brinestump Marsh in search of their destiny.Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-70942478993825499452019-02-27T12:27:00.002-08:002019-02-27T13:02:04.314-08:00From Sandpoint to Sakakabe: A Jade Regent Campaign: IntroductionHey, folks!<br />
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Months ago, I started running one of Paizo's published Adventure Paths for the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game. If you don't know, Pathfinder is a highly modified version of the Dungeons & Dragons 3.5 ruleset, created kind of like an alternate reality after D&D 4th Edition launched and was terrible. It carries over much of 3.5E's races, classes, skills, and so forth, but over the past ten years, it's grown into a juggernaut of a system that allows players to build almost any character they can imagine, but can be a bit... a bit overwhelming to new players.<br />
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My friends are generally pretty experienced with the system. However, in all the years we've been playing, we've never made it past the second book of any published Adventure Path. As we started up our new campaign, <i>Jade Regent</i>, I decided that I was going to tip the scales significantly further than usual in the players' favor, hoping the increased power and flexibility of the <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/variant/classes/gestaltCharacters.htm" target="_blank">Gestalt Character rules</a> would keep them alive and progressing instead of, say, dying aboard a burning ship as it sinks into Korvosa's harbor.<br />
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I began posting this series over on the <a href="https://paizo.com/community/forums/gamerLife/gaming/campaignJournals" target="_blank">Paizo Campaign Journal Forum</a>, but sadly, they don't let you go back and edit old posts there, and I kind of consistently misspelled two of the players' names. So I'm rewriting it here, in my domain, where I have unlimited power over the words I publish. Behold my unstoppable editing might.<br />
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Let me introduce the cast:<br />
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<b>ZAPHKAEL</b>, a human(-ish) Forgemaster Cleric/Sorcerer. Created in a lab on the planet Apostae, the gray-skinned and red-eyed Zaphael spent the formative years of his life in a simulation of Golarion in which he was born and raised a dwarf. Through some miracle or random happenstance, he escaped from this simulated reality, stumbled through a mysterious portal, and ended up in the woodlands outside of Sandpoint. He was found and rescued by Koya Mvashti, a local fortune teller and cleric of Desna, who nursed him back to health and helped him learn about the apparently "real" world he now found himself in.<br />
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<b>MOLIDO</b>, a half-orc Spirit Slayer/Invulnerable Rager. Found as a youth and raised by the elven ranger Shalelu, Molindo learned the arts of hunting and survival from his adopted mother/big sister. Stoic and not particularly concerned with personal grooming, the hulking half-orc carries an axe nearly as large as he is and dresses in dark clothing that further accentuates his brooding, intimidating demeanor.<br />
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<b>LORD BRIXTON VONDRESSLER</b>, an aasimar Paladin/Oracle of Life. Heir to a noble estate in Magnimar, Brixton is tall and strikingly handsome, with (literally) leonine features that are a direct result of his celestial heritage. His family shares an old friendship with the Mvashtis of Sandpoint, stemming from a disastrous hunting accident decades ago. Brixton was asked by letter from Koya to travel to Sandpoint, as the old seeress claims to have been sent a vision from Desna that his presence would be important in events soon to unfold.<br />
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<b>HANZO HATTORI</b>, a human Rogue/Ninja. An immigrant from across the sea, Hanzo was trained in stealth and assassination from a young age. He came to Sandpoint only recently, taking up work as a simple farmhand and keeping his distance from others, though he always seemed strangely observant whenever Ameiko Kaijutsu was around.<br />
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These are their adventures, as fate brings them together for a simple mission that will eventually lead them to a greater destiny.Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-85796686780893243902017-03-31T11:30:00.003-07:002017-03-31T11:35:02.745-07:00Ed's Review: Mass Effect: Andromeda<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpcTUdcVv4MR8tKf1NgYtqFWbqkmqrsvSG2Vv-mXCldSBa4kSbHSQv-Riym5dbPdbjSW0us9SYFrvNoJML0SbHtGFfqToHRLtu2fiLu9WuECbRCdS8n2xTLIRJIoXO2kGofBINwip7-RDS/s1600/MEA+Logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpcTUdcVv4MR8tKf1NgYtqFWbqkmqrsvSG2Vv-mXCldSBa4kSbHSQv-Riym5dbPdbjSW0us9SYFrvNoJML0SbHtGFfqToHRLtu2fiLu9WuECbRCdS8n2xTLIRJIoXO2kGofBINwip7-RDS/s200/MEA+Logo.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<i>Mass Effect: Andromeda</i> is a bit of a mess.<br />
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The animations are often very bad, particularly when it comes to human (or near-human) faces, but the mess is hardly limited to just them. The game is riddled with bugs both minor and major (on my PS4 copy, for example, every single time I suffered a one-shot kill at the hands of a giant Fiend, I had to manually close and restart the game because the game wouldn't bring me to the reload screen), the UI is a mess, the research point economy is out of whack, and ease-of-life features that should have been obvious, like the ability to reconnect to EA's online services from inside the game rather than exiting to the main menu, are bafflingly absent. It's a game that obviously needed another few months of polishing and fine-tuning, and even with those touch-ups, it wouldn't have likely stood as one of Bioware's all-time best efforts.<br />
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Still, I liked it, and I'm looking forward to the sequel.<br />
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<i>Andromeda</i> tells the story of a group of explorers from the Milky Way who, between the events of the first two <i>Mass Effect</i> games, somehow built a bunch of huge ark ships, rounded up more than 100,000 people, and blasted off towards the Andromeda galaxy. They arrive more than six hundred years later to find that the worlds they had targeted for colonization have been devastated by some sort of cosmic energy cloud called the Scourge and a hostile alien species known as the Kett. You play one of the two Ryder twins, the son and daughter of Human Pathfinder Clancy Brown and part of the team he leads. Your mission: establish a new home for the Milky Way colonists, make contact with local species, fight back the Kett, and figure out what's going on with the mysterious Remnant technology scattered across the Heleus Cluster.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ9G1K4mbfeHOsjSIp0YNtKy_-leRYjWis5CGd_B1P8FyI3cUTY6X_hn_l_bAhqCUxrjrZZ3mMHHArI0pESiZHau_CvlaKGGlWflEeGboGXjc6GsT-r73U-EKlOklmM7gI8Pv2znU4YKSB/s1600/Mass+Effect%25E2%2584%25A2_+Andromeda_20170330161206.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ9G1K4mbfeHOsjSIp0YNtKy_-leRYjWis5CGd_B1P8FyI3cUTY6X_hn_l_bAhqCUxrjrZZ3mMHHArI0pESiZHau_CvlaKGGlWflEeGboGXjc6GsT-r73U-EKlOklmM7gI8Pv2znU4YKSB/s320/Mass+Effect%25E2%2584%25A2_+Andromeda_20170330161206.jpg" width="320" /></a>The story, at least initially, seems to have far lower stakes than that of the first <i>Mass Effect</i> trilogy, in which Commander Shepard discovered that Robot Alien Cthulhus were about to repeat their 50,000-year cycle of wiping out all advanced life in the galaxy for some unfathomable reason. (And when we actually got the reason, at the end of the third game, it was an unfathomably stupid one.) The residents of the various arks and the Nexus--a knockoff of the Milky Way's Citadel intended to act as a hub for the new colonial government--don't know anything about the Reapers and don't know that they may have narrowly dodged a cosmic bullet. They just know that something happened in Andromeda within the last six centuries, and the bright future they were promised is not immediately forthcoming.<br />
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It's an interesting setup that allows the game to avoid some of the bafflingly bad writing injected into it over time--and mind you, the ending of ME3 was the culmination of a lot of awful storytelling, we just didn't notice because Garrus was awesome--and lends itself to a more exploration-heavy gameplay experience similar in ways to the original <i>Mass Effect</i>. Unfortunately, this sense of charting new territory is undercut by both <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ludonarrative" target="_blank">ludonarrative dissonance</a> (roll your eyes if you think the term is too hipster, but it applies) between what you're told to be the state of the galaxy and what you observe, and the simpler fact that you're not the first human on any of these planets.<br />
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In the game's lore, the Nexus and its crew arrived more than a year you did. Humans, turians, asari, salarians, and krogan have already made contact with the local races, already set up bases and colonies everywhere you're going to go, and already established thriving economies. That's a bit annoying, but much more egregious are the <i>massive</i> gangs of pirates and bandits you will encounter with at least as much regularity as you do the Kett. I tried to keep an estimate of how many Milky Way bad guys my team killed over the course of the game, and lost track after several hundred. Given the limited population pool (120,000 or so colonists, most still in cryo sleep), how exactly is some random goon getting ahold of a bunch of prefabricated housing modules and a gang of dozens of armed and armored soldiers? Moreover, how are <i>dozens</i> of these random goons assembling their own armies?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinXjDZmcblD65QzxoH3ujLuTRkH6Inz4YYmkSfmG5_OZpW7OCMiRMqQ5mYk5rydSFcguSNs0C9DQMb6XWISkR4jkOsnoKqJOm9EmOIPMoAND7cuLSUQcmztSr2NJyfl7L56xstljN-bB4x/s1600/Mass+Effect%25E2%2584%25A2_+Andromeda_20170330222010.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinXjDZmcblD65QzxoH3ujLuTRkH6Inz4YYmkSfmG5_OZpW7OCMiRMqQ5mYk5rydSFcguSNs0C9DQMb6XWISkR4jkOsnoKqJOm9EmOIPMoAND7cuLSUQcmztSr2NJyfl7L56xstljN-bB4x/s320/Mass+Effect%25E2%2584%25A2_+Andromeda_20170330222010.jpg" width="320" /></a>This isn't a new problem for the series. The folks in charge of designing the game's combat don't want to concern themselves with what makes sense for the world, they just want fun and interesting bad guys for you to fight. And, to be sure, they succeed in that. The combat starts a bit slow, with a limited arsenal of powers and weapons, but opens up greatly as Ryder gains levels. The Profile system, which lets you switch between pre-made sets of three powers and some passive bonuses, at first seemed a bit pointless but gradually becomes invaluable. For mass combat, I'd switch to my hard-hitting Vanguard profile, throwing myself at enemies like a biotically-charged ping pong ball of death and sending foes flying with kinetic explosions; when I needed to hold a specific position for a bit, I'd switch to a more traditional Adept role, knocking bad guys out of cover and setting them up for powerful, explosive combos.<br />
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While the fighting is good fun, it's a bit disappointing how little control you have over your companions compared to previous games. While I can understand why Bioware moved to make them more autonomous than before, I miss being able to tell my cohorts when to hit with a specific power or switch from their rifle to their shotgun. The amount of customization available to you when crafting weapons also feels a bit wasted when you can build a massive new plasma cannon but can't hand it off to your krogan buddy.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgsUy7p4dr8T48UJdwpz3eGVoB_e_TAaAQc7dCsUnjj55CmX6-jOSqueVFJsFgNlGW-0HAXzhoQY6PR3RAx-b6wkcErn13yD5dsl7HEAFNxoJ6l9OMLSKsaXnIbT7lbun-0YB_P6rZcTF6/s1600/Mass+Effect%25E2%2584%25A2_+Andromeda_20170326192203.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgsUy7p4dr8T48UJdwpz3eGVoB_e_TAaAQc7dCsUnjj55CmX6-jOSqueVFJsFgNlGW-0HAXzhoQY6PR3RAx-b6wkcErn13yD5dsl7HEAFNxoJ6l9OMLSKsaXnIbT7lbun-0YB_P6rZcTF6/s320/Mass+Effect%25E2%2584%25A2_+Andromeda_20170326192203.jpg" width="320" /></a>The buddies are also a step below the companions of prior Bioware games. While none of them are egregiously bad, and most of them grew on me quite a bit with time, there are no obvious standouts like Garrus, or Tali, or Mordin, or--moving to the <i>Dragon Age</i> games--Alistair, Varric, or Dorian. Peebee, the asari archaeologist with serious commitment issues, seems to be the most divisive of the bunch--fans either seem to find her the most interesting and endearing member of the crew, or the most two-dimensional and annoying. (I fall closer to the latter, but eh, she's fine.) Personally, I ended up a fan of Drack, an <i>extremely</i> veteran krogan soldier who puts a slightly paternal spin on the series' usual "gruff, pragmatic warrior guy" stereotype. All of the companions have at least some interesting trait that sets them apart from their archetype, from Liam's reckless idealism to Vetra's big-sisterliness, with the possible exception of Cora, who falls into the thankless Bioware role of being the rules-oriented, boring one.<br />
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The character that I think will emerge as the most interesting and important, however, is Jaal, the last member of your crew to join and an important link to the Andromeda galaxy. He's well written and well acted, useful in combat, and has probably the strongest arc to his story. Once you get him, you should probably just take him along on every main story mission. I did, and I imagine a lot of the big revelations would have lost some impact if he hadn't been with me.<br />
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And the revelations <i>are</i> interesting and worth reaching, even if the game starts at a glacial, unfocused pace and takes its time hooking you in. The lengthy opening tutorial gives way to a potentially even lengthier tutorial on Eos, depending on your need to pursue sidequests. (My advice: come back later. Eventually, the planet's radiation hazards clear, and it becomes<i> </i>much less of a pain to get around.) The story does gradually pick up, however, and--aside from a few handwavy moments it doesn't give you time to think about--builds to a satisfying climax that sets up some very interesting ideas for the series to pick up on in the future.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihIZJCF55mhSGneYJuS-eiMOdcsXICH3s91OKbfNDhb63MKXhyPEh_qE9OPGerFsU_spDF293ZTbAjPBiGuo5tvzBeyXLXd7lrKnZNX5z4ztyybXus6zdr1G-X4DctHjIodFow4uwIkvcV/s1600/340195654.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihIZJCF55mhSGneYJuS-eiMOdcsXICH3s91OKbfNDhb63MKXhyPEh_qE9OPGerFsU_spDF293ZTbAjPBiGuo5tvzBeyXLXd7lrKnZNX5z4ztyybXus6zdr1G-X4DctHjIodFow4uwIkvcV/s320/340195654.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<i>Andromeda</i> is very good, even if it's not great. If you're a fan of the original games, it's probably worth a shot--though be warned that it is a <i>massive</i> title that will take dozens of hours to complete. Like the original <i>Mass Effect</i>, it tells an interesting story competently, but lacks substantial polish and is very rough around some of its edges.<br />
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<b>Ed's Totally Subjective Score: 7.5/10</b><br />
<b><br /></b> And now, some random thoughts.<br />
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<ul>
<li>I stuck with the default names for the Ryders, and I'm glad I did. There are many times throughout the game where characters will refer to you as "Sara" or "Scott" if you've kept that as their names, and I don't imagine they do that otherwise. It's a small touch, but after three games of just being "Commander" or "Shepard," it's nice to have a first name.</li>
<li>Having started a New Game + as Scott Ryder, it's really noticeable how much better the male character's animations are than his sister's. Sara's always twisting at weird angles and making strange faces, but Scott seems like he's actually accustomed to being in a human body. Probably a side effect of them sharing animations, and Sara's rig being significantly smaller.</li>
<li>The animations that play as you move from planet to planet. They are very pretty, yes. They are also <i>interminable</i>. I don't care if they have to skip fixing game-breaking bugs, the very first thing Bioware needs to patch are those awful transitions. How did they get through QA?</li>
<li>Early on, characters mention that the Quarian ark is still on its way to Andromeda and is also bringing all the other races the devs couldn't be bothered making new models for. With complete seriousness: Bioware, before you end this series, I demand an elcor shipmate.</li>
<li>The multiplayer is much like <i>Mass Effect 3'</i>s, which is good, because ME3's was fantastic. Unfortunately, EA doesn't seem to have made dedicated servers for PS4 users, and almost every session I've tried has been laggy to the point of near unplayability. This is a shame, because one of the first characters I unlocked was a female krogan gladiator, and I gave her bright pink and indigo armor and want to run around headbutting things with her.</li>
<li>Female Ryder is <i>incredibly</i> sarcastic. I haven't heard enough of her brother's voicework to have much to say about him, but man, Sara is hilariously snarky even when she's being serious. Her VA either did a really great job or a really bad one.</li>
<li>Brightly colored hair just seems really appropriate for a pair of 20-something twins who decided to jump galaxies.</li>
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Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-44810389393527428312015-12-31T15:01:00.000-08:002015-12-31T15:05:31.187-08:00Five Games From 2015 I Friggin' LovedWelp, it's the end of the year. Time to look back and reflect over the events and happenings of the previous 365 days. Or, if you're the owner of a dusty, neglected old blog with nothing better to do today, time to write a list of video games you most enjoyed.<br />
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So, let's do that.<br />
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#5: Metal Gear Solid 5<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So, I'm not a huge Metal Gear fan. I played the hell out of MGS 1 as a kid, sure, and I suffered through the Raiden bait-and-switch of MGS 2, but I lost interest about halfway through 3 and never had any real interest in picking up any of the following prequels and spinoffs. Hideo Kojima is certainly the definition of an auteur--one can immediately recognize his distinct vision and touch on a game--but his particular brand of quirkiness never really lined up with mine. This is as true as ever of <i>Metal Gear Solid 5</i>. The writing's awful, the characters are unlikable dicks who do stupid things and get angry for juvenile reasons, and the whole virus plot makes no goddamn sense.</div>
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And then there's Quiet. Jesus Christ, Quiet.</div>
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Yet despite that, the actual gameplay if MGS 5 was pure fun. I put dozens of hours into it, even after finishing the main story, just screwing around and looting resources for Mother Base. I don't know how many times I raided that airport in Africa, but it never got old. The sheer variety in ways you can approach the same objective kept it entertaining every single time. Charge in guns blazing, executing guards as you go? Sure. Sneak in, with Quiet sending down a barrage of tranquilized sniper rounds? Abduct away! Have your AI-equipped armored walker create a distraction in the middle of a parking lot while you swipe a few crates of precious metals? That's good, too.</div>
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MGS 5 would probably be a lot closer to the top if it had come with a less Kojima story... but then, would the actual game still have been as good without him? Who knows? Well, we might eventually find out when and if Konami takes a break from making branded pachinko machines to crank out a Kojima-less Metal Gear sequel. Time will tell.</div>
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#4: Pillars of Eternity<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbv5O8leASFcN3R6YxDkRGeUZfrl6hUKbZ8DLODpjiRe8zs4STacCh33Q2kTyAT-7MlS_Xo1THKu0cJ8q0wa5UjqghU_PC2yzK31OOEP1cWzNCGoTaTngH5jBMueTFgNLeKojOSAy-p9oe/s1600/Cover_POE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbv5O8leASFcN3R6YxDkRGeUZfrl6hUKbZ8DLODpjiRe8zs4STacCh33Q2kTyAT-7MlS_Xo1THKu0cJ8q0wa5UjqghU_PC2yzK31OOEP1cWzNCGoTaTngH5jBMueTFgNLeKojOSAy-p9oe/s200/Cover_POE.jpg" width="141" /></a></div>
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Once, when I was a little kid--maybe seven or eight--I ate a bowl of homemade potato soup at a friend's house. It was amazing. When I close my eyes, I can still think about how good that soup tasted, how it warmed my chest like a snug blanket of deliciousness, the combination of flavors and textures and just general amazingness. In the two and a half decades since, I've searched high and low to find that potato soup's equal. I've found plenty of very good ones, a few very bad ones, but none have been able to capture that absolute perfection--and perhaps none ever can. Perhaps it wasn't actually as good as I think, and my memories are tainted by nostalgia and the naivete of youth.</div>
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If the original <i>Baldur's Gate</i> games are that potato soup, <i>Pillars of Eternity</i> is the closest I've ever come to recapturing it. In many ways, the soup is even better than the one I remember, even if it's still not <i>quite</i> the same. But that's fine. Because goddamn it, I've got some amazing potato soup here, and whether it's an exact duplicate or not, it's still really freaking good.</div>
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That said, as much as I adored the game during the month I spent playing it... I can't remember much of the story. It was really, really good. The plot was compelling and well-written, the characters were (mostly) interesting and endearing, the sidequests avoided being filler fetch quests or grinds. It's an Obsidian game. Obsidian does game writing better than anyone in the business. And yet, outside of a few specific story beats, I couldn't really give you much more than a general overview of the central plot. I'd probably even get some stuff wrong.</div>
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And that's why the potato soup isn't higher on the list.</div>
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#3: Tales From the Borderlands</h3>
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Hey, have you played <i>Tales From the Borderlands?</i></div>
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No?</div>
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<b>STOP READING THIS AND GO PLAY <i>TALES FROM THE BORDERLANDS</i>.</b></div>
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Unlike every other game on my list here, <i>Tales</i> isn't a grand epic that requires dozens of hours to get through. It'll take you perhaps eight, tops. And they will be eight of the best hours you ever spend.</div>
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Telltale Games created a brilliant template with <i>The Walking Dead</i>, a choose-your-own-adventure sort of game where you guided a guy named Lee and a little girl named Clementine through the perils and horrors of a zombie apocalypse. They expanded the template with <i>A Wolf Among Us</i> (based on Bill Willingham's brilliant and amazing <i>Fables</i> comic books) and <i>A Game of Thrones</i>, but with <i>Tales</i>, they may have hit their high water mark. Everything about this game--the voice acting, the art style, the sharp writing and frequently hilarious dialogue--is heads and shoulders above Telltale's other work. (Well, okay, except perhaps for the end of TWD.)</div>
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Seriously, even if you have no experience with the original <i>Borderlands</i> games (think <i>Diablo</i> as a first person shooter and a healthy splash of <i>Mad Max</i>), you should play this. Now. Literally right now. Don't even finish this list.</div>
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Then come back and play the next two games, too.</div>
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<h3>
#2: Fallout 4</h3>
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I haven't been this hooked on a game since Bethesda's <i>last</i> game.</div>
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Look, don't get me wrong. Bethesda's still not very good at writing. The Institution's motivations and treatment of Synths make no sense. It makes even less sense that people living on the Northeastern coast of the United States haven't figured out how to build walls without gaping holes in them. The ending(s) are ludicrously railroaded (no pun intended) and universally disappointing.</div>
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But man, what this game does right, it does <i>right</i>. While Bethesda may be garbage at actual writing, nobody does environmental storytelling better. You'll constantly be wondering about the stories behind, say, the rotten skeleton trapped in a hole with nothing but a teddy bear, or why this particular vault dweller decided to barricade himself in his room and starve to death. And the companions! Nick Valentine, Hancock, Curie, even the formerly-awful and equally unkillable mayor of Little Lamplight, MacCready, are all engaging, entertaining, and well-crafted. (Admittedly, I'm a huge sucker for noir, meaning Nick was always going to be my best friend by default.)</div>
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Crafting systems in games are always a huge draw for me, as well, and God knows I spent enough time modding weapons and building settlements in the dozens of hours I've spent with this game so far. While perhaps not quite as deep as I'd hoped--most weapon mods are straight upgrades, rather than offering customization options to tailor a gun to your particular needs or tastes--it provides a great excuse to revisit explored areas in search of respawned caches of aluminum, adhesive, or ceramics.</div>
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Of course, the fact that areas respawn makes no freaking sense. Nor does it make sense that bandits and raiders could outnumber normal civilians getting by on subsistence farming by a huge ratio, especially considering they're competing with roided-out super mutants for the same prey. Or that a kid can survive in the fridge 30 feet off the road for two centuries without food and water, ghoul or not. Or that people are still using bottlecaps as currency after two friggin' centuries. Or that Jet, which was created some hundred and change years after the Great War in New Reno, can be found in pre-war ruins on the East Coast. Or that... well. You get the idea.</div>
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Basically, <i>Fallout 4</i> is super fun... as long as you avoid the main plot and don't think about how little sense anything makes. But man, if you can turn those parts of your brain off, it will take a month or more of your life away before you can blink.</div>
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<h3>
#1: The Witcher 3</h3>
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Welp. I honestly don't know where to start. No game I've ever seen has had the scope, the grandeur, and the beauty of <i>The Witcher 3</i>. None have had characters as complex and likable and compelling as Geralt of Rivia. None have built a world I, as a player, could simply enjoy <i>inhabiting </i>so much. My favorite memories of <i>The Witcher 3 </i>aren't in cutscenes or battles, but in simply exploring, in cresting a hill while a gentle breeze rustles the grass around me, of tracking a dangerous monster through a grim and ominous swamp, of seeing a <i>massive</i> whale rise out of the waves close enough by to rock my little boat.</div>
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I don't know if I can arrange words in such a way as to adequately convey how blown away I was by this game. The art is amazing--not just the graphics, but the character and creature designs, the architecture, the handcrafted scenery. You want to see what lies beyond every hill, in the depths of every valley. You want to search every ruin, explore every town. There are hundred of map markers for each a area Geralt visits in the game, and finding them isn't a chore, it's a pleasure.</div>
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And then there's Gwent. I'm on record as a guy who hates collectible card games being shoved into non-collectible card games, but I recant those views in regards to Gwent. To my chagrin, I ignored the game for most of my journey--it wasn't until I was nearly through that I finally gave it a fair shot and realized how gorram <i>fun</i> it is. And then I spent a dozen or so hours tracking down every last card I could still get.</div>
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And the writing? Brilliant. The characters are great--even Yennefer, who I initially viewed as the Veronica to Triss' Betty, grew on me by the end--and the themes of political intrigue and espionage interwoven through the narrative have more than a few shades of George R.R. Martin to them.</div>
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It didn't take much debate for me to place Geralt's final adventure at the top of my list. If you only play one game on this list (and, you know, you actually have the ability to invest dozens of hours into an open-world RPG), make it <i>The Witcher 3</i>. It's so good, it'll make you wear your girlfriend's pants and prank call a confused wizard.</div>
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BONUS:</div>
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Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-38233509193909723632015-05-14T01:42:00.002-07:002015-05-14T01:53:19.335-07:00Thoughts on Season 3 of Arrow<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It seems like the better <i>The Flash</i> got, the worse <i>Arrow</i> became.<br />
<br />
Wait, let me back up here. Hi. I haven't written anything in awhile. I'm Ed. I'm a geek. Sometimes, far too rarely, I feel compelled to write things down. So let's talk about <i>Arrow</i>.<br />
<br />
I only sat down to give The CW's <i>Arrow</i> a real shot (ha) about a month and a half ago. I'd heard good things from friends and fellow geeks, but I've been very, very wary about anything coming out of DC Comics for the last several years. I was born and raised a DC fan, coming into my geekiness around the same time that Knights were Falling and Doomsday and Clark Kent were punching each other so hard that buildings were shaking around them. My dad, though not a particularly nerdy soul himself, had fond memories of his own childhood comic book days and encouraged my interest. He'd return home from garage sales (this being the rural Midwest) with boxes full of old comics and trade paperbacks, almost always published by DC or Archie--and my deep-seated love of Archie is a whole 'nother subject--and I'd delve into this strange, colorful, violent, and often inexplicable world of superheroes and villains punching each other in dramatic fashion.<br />
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Around the same time, <i>Batman: The Animated Series</i> was kicking off. B:TAS begot <i>Superman: The Animated Series</i>, Supes begot <i>Justice League</i>, and basically, throughout my childhood and into my burgeoning adult years, I had Bruce Timm's legendary version of the DC Universe keeping me company. I also began to discover DC-oriented comics blogs like <a href="http://daveslongbox.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Dave's Long Box</a>, the <a href="http://absorbascon.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Absorbascon</a>, and Chris Sims' <a href="http://www.the-isb.com/" target="_blank">Invincible Super-Blog</a>. These helped me finally understand some of the stories I'd been confused by in my youth and connect to aspects, characters, and bits of DC apocrypha I'd otherwise never have been exposed to. I grew from a guy who liked comic books and superheroes to a dyed-in-the-wool DC Fanboy.<br />
<br />
And then Christopher Nolan happened. I enjoyed <i>Batman: Begins</i> quite a bit; I loved <i>The Dark Knight</i> and lauded Heath Ledger's performance (even if he still wasn't as good a Joker as Mark Hamill). But by the time <i>The Dark Knight Rises</i> hit, DC's editorial staff seemed to have succumbed to the exact same madness that had, thirty years earlier, caused every comics writer in the industry to take a shot at recreating Alan Moore's <i>Watchmen</i>. On the film side, it was obvious; <i>Man of Steel's </i>promotion (and eventual execution--no pun) made it clear that whoever was in charge of making these movies thought anything from DC that hit the silver screen needed to be dour, grim, dark, gritty, and absolutely humorless. Sure, <i>Green Lantern</i> looked like it might be kind of fun (I won't lie, I had high hopes for Ryan Reynold's Kyle-Rayner-disguised-as-Hal-Jordan film), but its box office demise apparently sealed the deal at Warner Brothers: DC movies are <i>totally serious business</i>, man.<br />
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And on the comics side? Well, after the high concept fun and humor of the early 2000's, the DC Universe was well on its way to darkening after <i>Identity Crisis</i>. (Here's the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Identity_Crisis_%28DC_Comics%29" target="_blank">Wikipedia entry on it</a>. It's even worse than it sounds.) Mary Marvel turned evil. Black Adam pushed a guy's skull through the back of his head. Superboy Prime... hoo boy, Superboy Prime. (Mind you, I think he's a <i>terrifying</i> villain, but the arm-ripping got a bit gratuitous.) But we also had Ryan Choi as the Atom, and Jaime Reyes as the third Blue Beetle, and Booster Gold and Rip Hunter were saving time itself, and there basically was enough light to balance out the darkness.<br />
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But then the New 52 began. DC wiped out their 80+ years of history and started (sort of) fresh. And by fresh, I mean with a level of grimdark that makes <i>Warhammer 40k</i> look like a pleasant afternoon in Equestria. And that is when I finally gave up on DC.<br />
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Since then, my comic book nerd needs have been met by Marvel (and some IDW, because I am a dork who likes ponies). Matt Fraction's run on <i>Hawkeye</i> is my favorite thing in the world, I adore Kamala Khan and No-Longer-a-Mystery-Woman Thor, I even got a kick out of <i>The Superior Spider-Man</i>. I've been working my way through Walt Simonson's legendary run on <i>Thor</i> from the 80's, I'm gradually building up a base of Marvel trivia knowledge to almost, sort-of, vaguely challenge my hard-won mastery of DC lore, and let's not even get started on how much I love Marvel's cinematic offerings. (Even <i>Iron Man 2</i>. And <i>Thor 2</i>. Though getting Chris Eccleson as Malekith but <i>not</i> having him camp it up is one of the great tragedies of modern film.)<br />
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All of this is a ridiculously overlong way of saying that I've become very, very wary of DC. And so I resisted checking out <i>Arrow</i> for two and a half seasons, until I kept hearing over and over how lighthearted and bright and flat-out <i>good</i> CW's new Flash show was. That's what won me over: the idea that somehow, some way, somebody in charge of a DC product managed to sneak <i>fun</i> into their story without the higher-ups noticing.<br />
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In order to watch <i>The Flash</i>, of course, I had to watch <i>Arrow</i>. So I did. And lo, it was good! The first season took a bit to find its feet, but right from the start it was apparent that, despite the fact that Green Arrow was clearly more Bruce than Oliver in this series, it had a humor and sense of adventure to it that DC's latest film offerings had seemed deathly allergic to. The second season was even better, building steam over the entire season as we learned more about Ollie's relationship with Slade Wilson. I firmly believe that the home stretch of episodes, with their constantly rising stakes and beautiful, satisfying payoff, rank up there with the best that television has to offer. "Seeing Red" is no "Ozymandias," but it's quality.<br />
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And <i>The Flash</i>... man, I could spend hours praising everything about it. Sure, maybe it's not everyone's bag; hell, I'm pretty sure I am the <i>exact audience</i> it's targeting. But it hits me right in the happy center of my brain, and I giggle like an idiot through every episode. (And man, is Cisco just the best character on TV today or what?)<br />
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But the third season of <i>Arrow</i> didn't come anywhere near the heights it reached during season two. I've given it a lot of thought over the last few days, and during the finale I just finished tonight, and I think I can identify the areas where it started going south.<br />
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Be warned, Netflix-waiters: spoilers ahead. They're necessary for a real discussion. Sorry.<br />
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Let's start with the positives, though. The first half of the season was generally pretty good. We had an intriguing mystery with the murder of the Canary, I was thrilled to see the show introduce Ray Palmer (played by Brandon Routh, of the not-nearly-as-bad-in-hindsight <i>Superman Returns)</i>, the introduction of Ted friggin' Grant as a mentor (and, weirdly, possible love interest) for Laurel, and the kickass crossover episodes between <i>Arrow</i> and <i>Flash</i>. This culminated with the ninth episode, "The Climb," with Ollie's climactic duel against Ra's al-Ghul, and his subsequent (apparent) death.<br />
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Man, that was good stuff. Shocking. Surprising. It opened up all kinds of interesting possibilities for Team Arrow. It provided a great setup for the introduction of the Lazarus Pit, a subject that Chris Nolan was afraid to bring up for his Ra's. Obviously, Ollie was going to be brought back, but how would the Pit change him?<br />
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(Also, an interesting tidbit. Remember way back at the top of this post, when I mentioned that <i>Arrow</i> got worse as <i>Flash</i> got better? If "The Climb" was the pinnacle of <i>Arrow's </i>season, <i>Flash's</i> ninth episode, "The Man in the Yellow Suit," is where that show went from "I really enjoy this" to "HOLY GOD THIS SHOW IS FANTASTIC!")<br />
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Well... it wouldn't. Because Ollie didn't go into the Pit. He just didn't die. Despite falling off a cliff. After being impaled. And four days without food or water. Completely exposed to the wind and the cold. Without a shirt.<br />
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Meanwhile? Well, remember the mystery of Canary's killer? Turned out to be Thea--and that was awesome. What a story! Thea, warped by her father's tutelage, becoming a killer. Maybe she'd join the League of Assassins like her old man. Maybe she'd become this dark, twisted reflection of Oliver, a symbol of what kind of damage the lies and deceptions he'd told for years could do.<br />
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Nope. Merlyn just drugged her. You know, guys, that didn't really go over well when they did that to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassandra_Cain" target="_blank">Cassandra Cain</a>, either.<br />
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How about Ray Palmer? He was a seriously likable dude, a good guy through and through, but setting him up as an antagonist to Ollie could have yielded some really interesting conflicts. Plus, he seemed to have way more chemistry with Felicity than Oliver does. I was excited to see how the show would handle him.<br />
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For the most part... not terrible? I mean, sure, we didn't get to see him shrink; he was more or less a lower-budget Iron Man. But I've yet to be able to really buy into Olivicity... Feliciver... whatever. The whole star-crossed lover schtick worked well enough in the first season between Ollie and Laurel, but doing it again with these two always seemed very forced to me. Felicity and Ray seemed like a much more natural pairing, based on shared intelligence and interests as well as physical attraction, and I thought they played well off of each other. Alas, the writers seemed bent on shipping Felicity and Ollie come hell or high water, and Ray got the short (ha) shaft.<br />
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Okay, but Ted Grant! Ted Grant is awesome! I mean, sure, he's always been portrayed as this grizzled old bastard of a mentor figure, but casting him as a young, good-lookin' dude puts an interesting new spin on his relationship with... okay, quick aside? I get annoyed every time I have to stop myself from typing "Dinah" to type "Laurel" instead. She's Black Canary, she's goddamned Dinah.<br />
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(Besides, officially, "Laurel" is just her middle name. She and her mother are both named "Dinah." That's actually taken straight from the comics! See, back before DC's continuity went completely insane, there were two Black Canaries. The first Canary, Dinah Drake, operated during World War II, as part of the Justice Society. Her daughter, Dinah Laurel Lance, became the Black Canary we know and love today. Also, her dad, Detective Lance, was originally a <i>Gotham </i>detective... uh. Right, back to the point.)<br />
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Unfortunately, this potential storyline was abruptly dropped mid-season after the reveal that Ted was a former vigilante himself. Which, itself, was a really cool idea that should have been explored. Alas, both Wildcat and his story threads vanished without a trace after that; I don't think anyone even <i>mentioned</i> him for the rest of the season.<br />
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Basically, it seems like the season was split messily in half. Like the writing team drafted the first nine episodes, went on vacation, and came back months later with nothing but a vague idea of what the seasonal arc was going to be. I'm sure it's more to do with contract disputes and budgetary concerns, but looking back, it's jarring how different the first chunk of the season was from what came after.<br />
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That also applies to this season's flashback scenes. In the previous two seasons, we'd seen Oliver's arrival on Lian Yu, his growth into a competent fighter, and the building and demolition of his friendship with Slade Wilson, and it had all flowed seamlessly with the ongoing plot threads of the present day. We learned what came between Ollie and Slade at the same time that we learned Slade was still alive. As stakes rose in the present, they likewise rose in the past.<br />
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This season's flashbacks started fairly strong; Oliver in Hong Kong, being used as an assassin by (the still-kind-of-annoying-how-skinny-she-is) Amanda Waller, his partnership with Maseo, and his development of skills that would later help him as a vigilante. However, the pacing of the flashback scenes and the present-day story was disjointed and weak; we knew far in advance, for example, that Akio wasn't going to survive to the current day. The overarching threat of the Alpha-Omega Virus, which should have tied both stories together, seemed to be introduced or at least focused on too late in the season to establish the kind of ominous presence that was needed to effectively connect the two.<br />
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And then there's the League of Assassins storyline. I'm not even sure where to begin dissecting this, but I feel it's safe to say that this plot was the heaviest burden weighing the season down. Perhaps we should begin by picking out what <i>did</i> work with it.<br />
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The first couple of episodes after Ollie "joined" were effective at establishing doubt as to whether or not he had actually been corrupted by Ra's brainwashing. Ra's attack on Thea was a shocking and effective way to end that episode. The horror that Team Arrow, particularly Thea, felt at Ollie's supposed sacrifice rang true to me. Merlyn stepping in as a substitute leader for the team felt natural and appropriate, helped in no small way by John Barrowman being awesome.<br />
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What didn't? The reveal at the beginning of "This is Your Sword" that Ollie was deceiving Ra's robbed the rest of that episode of any suspense and tension, and taking the wind out of your own sails in the last episode before your finale is something you should never, ever do. It also made the arranged marriage between Ollie and Nyssa a complete non-issue, <i>and</i> made Ra's look like an idiot for not taking further steps to ensure Oliver's loyalty.<br />
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The largest problem with this plotline, I think, comes from the choices that the writers made throughout the season's second half. Why have Ollie survive his fight with Ra's, instead of using this opportunity to introduce the Lazarus Pit (complete with warnings about its potential to warp a bather's mind) and, thus, cast just a tiny bit of doubt on Ollie's motives going forward. Why introduce this prophecy about "surviving Ra's blade" and not play around with it? Ra's stabbed Thea, and she survived, too. Why not do something with that? In fact, why the hell is there's a prophecy in the first place? And what is it supposed to portend? Because it seemed more like a guide to establishing succession than any "prophecy."<br />
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Ideally, the endgame with the League would have had a series of escalating stakes, would have led the viewers to doubt the allegiances of characters like Ollie, Thea, and Merlyn, and would have tied more thematically to the flashback plotline. Instead, it all seemed rather lackluster and obvious, and the flashbacks seemed more interested in introducing Maseo and Katana than drawing parallels between Ollie's past and present. It just didn't hang together very well.<br />
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Next week, <i>The Flash</i> will get its season finale. If trends continue, I'll be geeking out over it for hours after it's over. Come next fall, hopefully it'll maintain its momentum--and hopefully, <i>Arrow</i> will regain its. I want to remember Season 3 as a hiccup in an otherwise damn good show, and not beginning of its all-too-soon decline into mediocrity.Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-28937834870737784072014-08-04T15:22:00.004-07:002014-08-04T15:30:11.022-07:00Let's Play ROTK X Part 6: A College Graduate in Today's World<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
It's November 20th, 200 A.D., and Lu Meng has finally run out of college tuition money.<br />
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But look at that Intelligence score! From 42 to 68; not too shabby, in my opinion. It's not quite up to our target of 70, but we've barely even begun to earn Tactics XP yet, so there's no real rush to get there.<br />
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It's been a long road to hoe, but we were just the Joe to hoe it. Let's see how the world looks nowadays, after our long sequester.<br />
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In the Central Plains, Cao Cao and Yuan Shu are still gearing up for an inevitable war. Liu Bei is still hanging out in Ru Nan, and Lu Bu is still sleeping on Liu Bei's bed and pissing in his sink and leaving his dirty underwear draped over Liu Bei's favorite sculptures.<br />
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Actually, it doesn't look like anything's changed at all. Kinda weird.<br />
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In the southeast, Sun Ce (who is still alive, somehow) has expanded his territory a bit, and he's probably going to be coming into conflict with Liu Biao pretty soon. Biao's an annoying bugger in the early game; he's not an important character, and he doesn't really have any great officers under his command, but he's got some prime real estate that provides him with enough money and manpower to make him tough to knock out.<br />
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And our Act I antagonist, Yuan Shu, is still just sitting there with his measly two cities. I wonder if the game's scripting broke? Sometimes, a particular officer moving to the wrong place or switching sides too early can cause the scripted events to stop happening. This might actually be a good thing, because a lack of scripted events means Cao Cao won't get to automatically double his territory again when he goes to war with Yuan Shao.<br />
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<i>Or</i>, maybe the fact that we haven't set foot off of campus for four years meant that none of the events could trigger, because Lu Meng is the center of the universe.<br />
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Hell, this is going to be another text-heavy update, isn't it?<br />
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<i>"What!? He has not yet earned the people's trust to make such a move! This is political suicide!"</i><br />
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Meng took a couple PoliSci classes.<br />
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<i>"... gained the trust of the people. His ascension was widely criticized, and the people quickly labelled him a pretender to the throne. The Kingdom of Cheng had quickly become a target for neighboring powers."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Yeah, this isn't going to end well for Emperor Dumbass. (Who, despite naming himself Emperor, only rules a kingdom. A kingdom of two cities.)<br />
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<br />
Anyway, now that we're college graduates (sort of), it's time we got ourselves a proper career. Off we go to meet Sun Ce!<br />
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<br />
That was sudden.<br />
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<i>"Lu Bu's general Zhang Liao gained the favor of Cao Cao and was recruited."</i><br />
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<br />
This was Meng's actual response. He gives zero fucks about your silly-hatted Musketeer man.<br />
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<br />
Anyway, we head to the castle and ask for a job.<br />
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Yay!<br />
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Little will they suspect that beneath his humble exterior lies the secret identity of... <i>Captain Average!</i><br />
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<br />
<i>"... an uncle to the Emperor by blood, much to the joy of his majesty."</i><br />
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oh god damn it more backlogged scripted events<br />
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<i>"Ah, so Master Liu Bei has gained favor with the Emperor... "</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
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<i>"Later, Liu Bei was charged with a campaign against Cheng's Army, and he entered Xiao Pei. However, Cheng's Army began to crumble from within, and Yuan Shu is said to have died while fleeing. The Imperial Seal that was in Yuan Shu's possession is said to have been delivered to Cao Cao."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
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<i>"A rather tragic end for one who once possessed enough power to declare himself Emperor."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
"Of course, by 'tragic' I mean 'hilarious.'"<br />
<br />
So, there go both of the story's early villains. Lu Bu got his head chopped off, Yuan Shu got trampled by his own horse or something. In both cases, Cao Cao ended up benefiting from the conflict; in one, he got one of the most badass warriors of the era (even if his hat is goofy as hell), and in the other, he got a shiny MacGuffin.<br />
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It's actually pretty cool getting to see Cao's rise from small-time but ambitious schemer to the most powerful warlord in China. Assuming the scripts don't break, we'll see him rise even higher... at least until the Battle of Chi Bi, which we will very likely be getting to participate in and influence the outcome of.<br />
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<br />
oh come on<br />
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<i>"Liu Bei's Army has now formed an alliance with Yuan Shao's Army to stand against Cao Cao's Army."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Liu Bei is often presented as the "good guy" of the trio of Three Kingdoms rulers. Cao Cao's easy to see as a villain given his quick rise to power, Sun Quan was more concerned with defending his territory than abstract concepts of justice and honor, but Liu Bei is usually shown as this high-minded hero of the people, fighting against overwhelming odds to found a nation based on goodness and light and cupcakes and free hugs.<br />
<br />
Really, though, based entirely on his actions throughout the story, Liu Bei comes off more as an extremely lucky, extremely passive-aggressive twit. He literally betrays more people than Lu Bu did, and I'm pretty sure he's got a higher body count to boot.<br />
<br />
Anyway, let's escape the torrent of scripted events for a bit and do some actual work for our new boss.<br />
<br />
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<br />
First thing's first: our bestest buddy Lu Su is still independent, so we're going to ask if we can go hire him.<br />
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<br />
But... but...<br />
<br />
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<br />
So I patrol or something for a week, and this time, he asks <i>me</i> to go hire Su. It <i>was</i> the end of the quarter, I guess; maybe he was concerned about payroll.<br />
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<br />
god damn it<br />
<br />
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<i>"The pact stamped by all involved has been discovered as well. Liu Bei's name was seen on the pact."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Not only is Liu Bei a backstabbing little twerp, he's dumb enough to sign his name to the "Death to Cao Cao Club" charter and then <i>leave it in the assassin's possession</i>.<br />
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<br />
Anyway, we have a job to do.<br />
<br />
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<br />
Oh?<br />
<br />
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<br />
Damn straight.<br />
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<br />
We arrive at Ru Nan (previously occupied by that idiot Liu Bei). Since our mission is to find a specific person, the little "people" icon on the Blacksmith is red, showing exactly where Su is hanging out.<br />
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<br />
Promise I won't disband our army and then go hide in a classroom for four years this time, buddy.<br />
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<br />
<i>"... fallen. Guan Yu and most other officers are nowhere to be found. Only Liu Bei himself managed to reach Yuan Shao's Army."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
ahahahaha<br />
<br />
This event is usually the first one you'll see if you start a game in 200 AD. That means we're finally catching up! Of course, it also means that we're not far away from Cao Cao becoming an unstoppable juggernaut in the north.<br />
<br />
It's actually possible to thwart Cao Cao and keep Yuan Shao in power if you play as one of Shao's subordinates. The war between the two northern powers is determined through a Campaign; if you manage to lead Yuan Shao to victory, Cao Cao's left with only Chang Sha in the west and the game's scripted events are pretty much dead.<br />
<br />
Campaigns, by the way, are a feature unique to ROTK X that I'll discuss later. They're kind of a cool idea, kind of a time saver, and kind of <i>immeasurably </i>frustrating.<br />
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<br />
work work work<br />
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<br />
That's... great? Good for them, I mean. Really.<br />
<br />
Oh, this is a scripted event that I have to attend, isn't it? Man, company birthday parties are forced and awkward enough, I can only imagine how bad a company <i>wedding</i> would be.<br />
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<br />
I just can't help reading this in the creepiest voice possible. Xiao Qiao is usually presented in the <i>Dynasty Warriors</i> games as being maybe, <i>maybe</i> 15. I know that that was way past marriageable age in this time period, but Zhou Yu just looks so pumped about it, and... ew.<br />
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<br />
That's... what does that even mean? What kind of support are we providing, here? Emotional? Financial?<br />
<br />
... Sexual?<br />
<br />
Anyway, nothing all that exciting happens for awhile. Sun Ce has based himself in Jian Ye, easily the crappiest city he owns, and he has a very annoying habit of sending officers out to develop other cities instead of just transferring them there permanently. We spend a lot of time walking back and forth.<br />
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<br />
And then, this happens.<br />
<br />
It's... it's Lu Xun!<br />
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(I'll stop with that joke now.)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibCChVxg0a0p1PmOE4nfykC0ldD_1fkM3fMs_PKk5tO7LMkJAL9q6LdoCaofR17d9FiqUQEuDJsIyhwsPz8pjTSMLLkgWB_AVFSPrIF8VzK82sXYUHZV9cjBxbKQWXH-D9fcTE_2JDr_un/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+22-02-24-23.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibCChVxg0a0p1PmOE4nfykC0ldD_1fkM3fMs_PKk5tO7LMkJAL9q6LdoCaofR17d9FiqUQEuDJsIyhwsPz8pjTSMLLkgWB_AVFSPrIF8VzK82sXYUHZV9cjBxbKQWXH-D9fcTE_2JDr_un/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+22-02-24-23.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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Lu Xun is one of Wu (the kingdom)'s most famous officers. He took over as the primary strategist after the deaths of Lu Su and Lu Meng. In the <i>Warriors</i> games, he's usually presented as a fairly young kid; in truth, he served Wu well into his old age.<br />
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He's also my contingency plan for Lu Meng's death.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_POf7X1B-hRofteeU5MNr8bOC6heJEQVJy1iVIFEHiw_DTB_qdhF56nTZkZq9xV0lMt0b3N-XNX-fFllrzMsBEbCLLzJFgQWdJ5WLfhahqdK9l4B_sMlFpDd2KD3V54GQbuGaeS8jyE2A/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+22-02-30-82.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_POf7X1B-hRofteeU5MNr8bOC6heJEQVJy1iVIFEHiw_DTB_qdhF56nTZkZq9xV0lMt0b3N-XNX-fFllrzMsBEbCLLzJFgQWdJ5WLfhahqdK9l4B_sMlFpDd2KD3V54GQbuGaeS8jyE2A/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+22-02-30-82.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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Unfortunately, he's not willing to join us just yet. It's going to take some time to make him our second-bestest-buddy, and then some more to convince Sun Ce that the amazing young strategist with the ridiculously good stats would be an asset to our army.<br />
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Next time, we'll work on that. Also, the war in the north might just heat up (and then abruptly resolve), and maybe, just maybe, I'll get to show you what battles are like. Stay tuned!<br />
<br />Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-11989326062476756252014-08-03T00:03:00.000-07:002014-08-03T00:11:43.060-07:00Let's Play ROTK X Part 5: Lu Meng, Confidence Man<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8SNuxrc_mrIFYiESa404Bmbw6TBMUI-cB8mWWAcFiqV7a_Yh1Po4JZUi2GaMZxlXc-4alzOobE6CVBHh07L4G1NR4eYupJcH3Wi9U-ZR5G86lhpwAbozVZJl-WoEEj3abfKvqYTFw-lXg/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-41-32-65.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8SNuxrc_mrIFYiESa404Bmbw6TBMUI-cB8mWWAcFiqV7a_Yh1Po4JZUi2GaMZxlXc-4alzOobE6CVBHh07L4G1NR4eYupJcH3Wi9U-ZR5G86lhpwAbozVZJl-WoEEj3abfKvqYTFw-lXg/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-41-32-65.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Enough dicking around with odd jobs and crime fighting. It's time to make some real money!<br />
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... But first, we're going to need to do some more odd jobs and crime fighting.<br />
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First off, it's time to look into these Buy Product jobs people keep posting.<br />
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Each city has its own specialty product. (Or its specialty is that it doesn't have a specialty, but you get what I mean.) Hui Ji, if you'll remember, was all about its fish. Other cities produce exceptional oil, silk, wheat, or what have you. These Buy Product jobs task you with finding a city that specializes in a particular product, buying some, and bringing it back.<br />
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How do you find out a city's specialty? Observe!<br />
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No, seriously, you go around and use the Observe command. Sometimes, you'll find previously undiscovered characters, sometimes you'll get generic dialogue and gameplay tips, and sometimes people will enthusiastically tell you all about how City 17 is world renown for their headcrab exports.<br />
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Our employer wants us to buy some rice.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPeB6KMc4IQAikyMcAYo-SOn2Nh4zJvBPsX6NRqfA43hPJee_FH8m6G2mYyxtYewm18qIwECscUn0WU7et28yqnegOMQtBFYk9tWaTUmCBVC3mxOaE2QuCf-0S5TCJPNWJ8jJ5Ea2Zw09s/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-42-57-96.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPeB6KMc4IQAikyMcAYo-SOn2Nh4zJvBPsX6NRqfA43hPJee_FH8m6G2mYyxtYewm18qIwECscUn0WU7et28yqnegOMQtBFYk9tWaTUmCBVC3mxOaE2QuCf-0S5TCJPNWJ8jJ5Ea2Zw09s/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-42-57-96.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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Fortunately, I've already learned that Shou Chun produces particularly tasty rice. This will be a very easy 300 coin.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8K2NQ3vV1fvlZkGuvwUvq0r_iRTvPGzxip36gTtZylX2TUUE1rPP50fZ6avBVHiJcE0rAQMR9_ZRXNZMnHGD_Gqh8X1OzQjqp__W6yYEwAHbRfmV_FZL81aJKBBBJq0TaHJykuOFeYBGt/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-43-30-87.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8K2NQ3vV1fvlZkGuvwUvq0r_iRTvPGzxip36gTtZylX2TUUE1rPP50fZ6avBVHiJcE0rAQMR9_ZRXNZMnHGD_Gqh8X1OzQjqp__W6yYEwAHbRfmV_FZL81aJKBBBJq0TaHJykuOFeYBGt/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-43-30-87.png" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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So, we head to Shou Chun's market.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" /></a></div>
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"Good morning!"</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7zIfqb7FERryQcB5jN-OEevr_T-FpdTsF-0rEIthIDf4NfdfvbOy_USzteD1t3gHW0dAKUYqUr1DopeqOt98P6aEXzatLFUXA4inaMnOdqdI7lXinTju1erSxBnhMoUbehVsUq0V15So4/s1600/Portrait+-+Merchant.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7zIfqb7FERryQcB5jN-OEevr_T-FpdTsF-0rEIthIDf4NfdfvbOy_USzteD1t3gHW0dAKUYqUr1DopeqOt98P6aEXzatLFUXA4inaMnOdqdI7lXinTju1erSxBnhMoUbehVsUq0V15So4/s1600/Portrait+-+Merchant.png" /></a></div>
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"Good morning, sir! Welcome to the National Rice Emporium!"</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" /></a></div>
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"Ah, thank you, my good man."</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7zIfqb7FERryQcB5jN-OEevr_T-FpdTsF-0rEIthIDf4NfdfvbOy_USzteD1t3gHW0dAKUYqUr1DopeqOt98P6aEXzatLFUXA4inaMnOdqdI7lXinTju1erSxBnhMoUbehVsUq0V15So4/s1600/Portrait+-+Merchant.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7zIfqb7FERryQcB5jN-OEevr_T-FpdTsF-0rEIthIDf4NfdfvbOy_USzteD1t3gHW0dAKUYqUr1DopeqOt98P6aEXzatLFUXA4inaMnOdqdI7lXinTju1erSxBnhMoUbehVsUq0V15So4/s1600/Portrait+-+Merchant.png" /></a></div>
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"What can I do for you, sir?"</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" /></a></div>
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"Well, I was sitting in the public library on Fu Xi Street just now, skimming through <i>The Art of War</i> by Sun Tsu, and I suddenly came over all peckish."</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7zIfqb7FERryQcB5jN-OEevr_T-FpdTsF-0rEIthIDf4NfdfvbOy_USzteD1t3gHW0dAKUYqUr1DopeqOt98P6aEXzatLFUXA4inaMnOdqdI7lXinTju1erSxBnhMoUbehVsUq0V15So4/s1600/Portrait+-+Merchant.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7zIfqb7FERryQcB5jN-OEevr_T-FpdTsF-0rEIthIDf4NfdfvbOy_USzteD1t3gHW0dAKUYqUr1DopeqOt98P6aEXzatLFUXA4inaMnOdqdI7lXinTju1erSxBnhMoUbehVsUq0V15So4/s1600/Portrait+-+Merchant.png" /></a></div>
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"Peckish, sir?"</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" /></a></div>
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"Esuriant."</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7zIfqb7FERryQcB5jN-OEevr_T-FpdTsF-0rEIthIDf4NfdfvbOy_USzteD1t3gHW0dAKUYqUr1DopeqOt98P6aEXzatLFUXA4inaMnOdqdI7lXinTju1erSxBnhMoUbehVsUq0V15So4/s1600/Portrait+-+Merchant.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7zIfqb7FERryQcB5jN-OEevr_T-FpdTsF-0rEIthIDf4NfdfvbOy_USzteD1t3gHW0dAKUYqUr1DopeqOt98P6aEXzatLFUXA4inaMnOdqdI7lXinTju1erSxBnhMoUbehVsUq0V15So4/s1600/Portrait+-+Merchant.png" /></a></div>
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"Eh?"</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" /></a></div>
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"I was all hungry-like."</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7zIfqb7FERryQcB5jN-OEevr_T-FpdTsF-0rEIthIDf4NfdfvbOy_USzteD1t3gHW0dAKUYqUr1DopeqOt98P6aEXzatLFUXA4inaMnOdqdI7lXinTju1erSxBnhMoUbehVsUq0V15So4/s1600/Portrait+-+Merchant.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7zIfqb7FERryQcB5jN-OEevr_T-FpdTsF-0rEIthIDf4NfdfvbOy_USzteD1t3gHW0dAKUYqUr1DopeqOt98P6aEXzatLFUXA4inaMnOdqdI7lXinTju1erSxBnhMoUbehVsUq0V15So4/s1600/Portrait+-+Merchant.png" /></a></div>
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"Ah, hungry!"</div>
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"In a nutshell! And I thought to myself, 'a little processed swamp grain would do the trick.' So I curtailed my Sun Tsuing activities, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some ricey comestibles!"</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7zIfqb7FERryQcB5jN-OEevr_T-FpdTsF-0rEIthIDf4NfdfvbOy_USzteD1t3gHW0dAKUYqUr1DopeqOt98P6aEXzatLFUXA4inaMnOdqdI7lXinTju1erSxBnhMoUbehVsUq0V15So4/s1600/Portrait+-+Merchant.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7zIfqb7FERryQcB5jN-OEevr_T-FpdTsF-0rEIthIDf4NfdfvbOy_USzteD1t3gHW0dAKUYqUr1DopeqOt98P6aEXzatLFUXA4inaMnOdqdI7lXinTju1erSxBnhMoUbehVsUq0V15So4/s1600/Portrait+-+Merchant.png" /></a></div>
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"What?"</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" /></a></div>
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"I want to buy some rice."</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7zIfqb7FERryQcB5jN-OEevr_T-FpdTsF-0rEIthIDf4NfdfvbOy_USzteD1t3gHW0dAKUYqUr1DopeqOt98P6aEXzatLFUXA4inaMnOdqdI7lXinTju1erSxBnhMoUbehVsUq0V15So4/s1600/Portrait+-+Merchant.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7zIfqb7FERryQcB5jN-OEevr_T-FpdTsF-0rEIthIDf4NfdfvbOy_USzteD1t3gHW0dAKUYqUr1DopeqOt98P6aEXzatLFUXA4inaMnOdqdI7lXinTju1erSxBnhMoUbehVsUq0V15So4/s1600/Portrait+-+Merchant.png" /></a></div>
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"Oh! Here you go."</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" /></a></div>
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"... That's it?"</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7zIfqb7FERryQcB5jN-OEevr_T-FpdTsF-0rEIthIDf4NfdfvbOy_USzteD1t3gHW0dAKUYqUr1DopeqOt98P6aEXzatLFUXA4inaMnOdqdI7lXinTju1erSxBnhMoUbehVsUq0V15So4/s1600/Portrait+-+Merchant.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7zIfqb7FERryQcB5jN-OEevr_T-FpdTsF-0rEIthIDf4NfdfvbOy_USzteD1t3gHW0dAKUYqUr1DopeqOt98P6aEXzatLFUXA4inaMnOdqdI7lXinTju1erSxBnhMoUbehVsUq0V15So4/s1600/Portrait+-+Merchant.png" /></a></div>
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"Yup."</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" /></a></div>
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"Huh. I sort of expected... "</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7zIfqb7FERryQcB5jN-OEevr_T-FpdTsF-0rEIthIDf4NfdfvbOy_USzteD1t3gHW0dAKUYqUr1DopeqOt98P6aEXzatLFUXA4inaMnOdqdI7lXinTju1erSxBnhMoUbehVsUq0V15So4/s1600/Portrait+-+Merchant.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7zIfqb7FERryQcB5jN-OEevr_T-FpdTsF-0rEIthIDf4NfdfvbOy_USzteD1t3gHW0dAKUYqUr1DopeqOt98P6aEXzatLFUXA4inaMnOdqdI7lXinTju1erSxBnhMoUbehVsUq0V15So4/s1600/Portrait+-+Merchant.png" /></a></div>
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"What, sir?"</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" /></a></div>
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"You know, never mind. Have a pleasant day."</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjixIEfwiUOCvAcrIU3Gzy8MpgxqQ61Yr-FzwZZy_hEXg7VK-x_BKWjARlKTIIPFjHBmFLHtxaJXCaQj7sxRDJe-lGYbWIVTqlO84QbP84LDMoQvxCQnK4df1I3jPr-T5Eiwno4G3lGKaM5/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-43-41-66.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjixIEfwiUOCvAcrIU3Gzy8MpgxqQ61Yr-FzwZZy_hEXg7VK-x_BKWjARlKTIIPFjHBmFLHtxaJXCaQj7sxRDJe-lGYbWIVTqlO84QbP84LDMoQvxCQnK4df1I3jPr-T5Eiwno4G3lGKaM5/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-43-41-66.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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On our way out, though, I spot someone I had absolutely not expected to see.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGhnbShxbLKvWyzjfgE5EE4guK6FDy2fZzfHoQfoQd9yWGRMRiHR_Gqy_V_N0TSkqbvfIJluQfVET7s6iV-oEJTJ5bEueyDGwmHRNhT5W5aqFLscvcmI60cXIxooil_4H77Ib2S0irCv_j/s1600/usagi_hearts_in_eyes.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGhnbShxbLKvWyzjfgE5EE4guK6FDy2fZzfHoQfoQd9yWGRMRiHR_Gqy_V_N0TSkqbvfIJluQfVET7s6iV-oEJTJ5bEueyDGwmHRNhT5W5aqFLscvcmI60cXIxooil_4H77Ib2S0irCv_j/s1600/usagi_hearts_in_eyes.gif" /></a></div>
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It's... it's Lu Su!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5zdVTn6kSdn-MYOWZGPjOOBP7taKIppo8l1Hdw8SuyxlW5A3k54XhyO9ExN1lFXU31HTKBFoGlcZaYoOUZ90VkcUBBxzp2ULqqMGhMgZOsfbyc2ng6bsxCyuzdOiYjG4HjrRYiEm8ZQZV/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-44-00-59.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5zdVTn6kSdn-MYOWZGPjOOBP7taKIppo8l1Hdw8SuyxlW5A3k54XhyO9ExN1lFXU31HTKBFoGlcZaYoOUZ90VkcUBBxzp2ULqqMGhMgZOsfbyc2ng6bsxCyuzdOiYjG4HjrRYiEm8ZQZV/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-44-00-59.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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Lu Su was one of Wu's great strategists. In the novels, I don't think he had all that much to do with Lu Meng, but <i>Dynasty Warriors 8</i> did a good job of setting up a mentor/mentee relationship between the two. Plus, it has Su fighting huge waves of enemies with a freaking rake, and he has one of the most entertaining movesets in the game.</div>
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I mean, Huang Gai surfing people to death with a canoe is still firmly in first place, but Lu Su's not far behind.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYZgBOdnr43uFbmePT5d0RnKRJaMs6eW_7aIwbUX6gcnXqBoeFfD3z27fRCQnWJdttGeO-ai0C2BrReWtsbVXCrlrB7fWbQecGQxHn9Z9E3HWBcb8L-vSwokyceZIWqSWZFHVrvX9yCfs0/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-43-54-14.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYZgBOdnr43uFbmePT5d0RnKRJaMs6eW_7aIwbUX6gcnXqBoeFfD3z27fRCQnWJdttGeO-ai0C2BrReWtsbVXCrlrB7fWbQecGQxHn9Z9E3HWBcb8L-vSwokyceZIWqSWZFHVrvX9yCfs0/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-43-54-14.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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Anyway, Su has some pretty great stats, and we are going to be besties.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVp4t5mmb-4KvX_Av_YXy4LxmmdiFaJmDFL7gl-NFQwWVpMF8MBqshEEzgeWy0mRo6HUR5Z0aQWry4m3tE17JcF0qeQJbqEnMv_weEhePnW6v0DQ8Z_I2ZHX5JCE_UMVkvc9oO9gv-ANro/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-44-16-18.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVp4t5mmb-4KvX_Av_YXy4LxmmdiFaJmDFL7gl-NFQwWVpMF8MBqshEEzgeWy0mRo6HUR5Z0aQWry4m3tE17JcF0qeQJbqEnMv_weEhePnW6v0DQ8Z_I2ZHX5JCE_UMVkvc9oO9gv-ANro/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-44-16-18.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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Er... eventually.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS2lvzYNBy5CW_cszm9ROcp0ef63Ww2FsHaVbshMZH6z8YMMsW7ped3wnZy0Jtjj_nUFQ1RNDYXtY-KFRAMfcEebE-0Wu0-VW1GZp4XT0CAzfzABRx0PXsSR0Bv0bJNlAmTZUuCg4iQ5jz/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-44-19-04.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS2lvzYNBy5CW_cszm9ROcp0ef63Ww2FsHaVbshMZH6z8YMMsW7ped3wnZy0Jtjj_nUFQ1RNDYXtY-KFRAMfcEebE-0Wu0-VW1GZp4XT0CAzfzABRx0PXsSR0Bv0bJNlAmTZUuCg4iQ5jz/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-44-19-04.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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Well, that's a good sign, at least. Character relationships scale from "Stranger" to "Close." Acquainted is the third step on the ladder, after Aware. It can actually be kind of annoying to raise a friendship from Aware to Acquainted, as more often than not an NPC officer will decline to waste time speaking to someone he doesn't know. The fact that we jumped all the way from Stranger to Acquainted in one, awkward conversation means that Su and Meng have compatible personalities, and raising our friendship to Close should be pretty painless.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdUI0iPlTyD15iSjw4vpbe2hO9scj_4r7pLHng9gdl5hV4WinUK6j3ccUSu-gfBQD3rL-MXuZ8lrCTBujQ5lcwyX6vlxLsPoaJ5Prfth5-hwbW8i_j7FsuuerVFJ9eybu2lNXO6hHF2Ov-/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-45-14-59.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdUI0iPlTyD15iSjw4vpbe2hO9scj_4r7pLHng9gdl5hV4WinUK6j3ccUSu-gfBQD3rL-MXuZ8lrCTBujQ5lcwyX6vlxLsPoaJ5Prfth5-hwbW8i_j7FsuuerVFJ9eybu2lNXO6hHF2Ov-/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-45-14-59.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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So I stalk him around the city for a week until he accepts the inevitability of our bromance.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4QGFJHW9QTcVN1IasfYZ_a9n_BUj1Ge0zw6gHi7UceL2vD6Ar9TE8hPM3TAw8ZO55f2QDjRklCjVRdo9l4hDPYrJNOOvgae_sPpcn-A7vKRw_b8sHXF3nROs-PmnptaqsRWyjf5pa2C0a/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-45-52-21.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4QGFJHW9QTcVN1IasfYZ_a9n_BUj1Ge0zw6gHi7UceL2vD6Ar9TE8hPM3TAw8ZO55f2QDjRklCjVRdo9l4hDPYrJNOOvgae_sPpcn-A7vKRw_b8sHXF3nROs-PmnptaqsRWyjf5pa2C0a/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-45-52-21.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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One of the benefits of having friends is that they can teach you skills and help train your statistics. Unfortunately, Meng is currently too dumb to learn about Intelligence from the genius strategist/psychotic gardener.</div>
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We head back to Luo Yang and take another Buy Product job, this time for pottery. I don't know the locations of the pottery-specialized cities yet, so we're going to have to ask around.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiQGnmc468-L0tEiXCbj3r5r9xhHy28Fns-ewTHfm3bLwKL_OqXm_uSSAhauz9yi2f4vHptEvfJ0b5rZE4MwQEv9dSeMO5hCVZAbKBBSdp2B3pXRlK148rZxgftEaem7nV9T9Kmk2RzYUG/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-48-01-39.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiQGnmc468-L0tEiXCbj3r5r9xhHy28Fns-ewTHfm3bLwKL_OqXm_uSSAhauz9yi2f4vHptEvfJ0b5rZE4MwQEv9dSeMO5hCVZAbKBBSdp2B3pXRlK148rZxgftEaem7nV9T9Kmk2RzYUG/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-48-01-39.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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fabric is not pottery<br />
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<i>"... Pei in Lu Bu's place. Also, the renown father and son Chen Gui and Chen Deng appear to have forsaken Liu Bei's Army in favor of Lu Bu's Army."</i></div>
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Messenger clone attack! Lu Bu is a huge prick, Liu Bei is kind of a pussy, grass is green, the sky is blue.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIVfLK2vOaIIc7o05AeJa1S0Lmwco90LaEwYhRKJH0lnS3wPjdW8Km1NUNv60wEOvKYdl_-jFHVUsa-qK4CtomenkKXP-zeAoAQAhbSljNLF2K2cpsW2tOaHW7f2CydyRSZP_Dgth1932q/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-54-01-67.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIVfLK2vOaIIc7o05AeJa1S0Lmwco90LaEwYhRKJH0lnS3wPjdW8Km1NUNv60wEOvKYdl_-jFHVUsa-qK4CtomenkKXP-zeAoAQAhbSljNLF2K2cpsW2tOaHW7f2CydyRSZP_Dgth1932q/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-54-01-67.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" /></a></div>
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<i>"His imperial highness has fled? What is going on here?"</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSEjv381fBzL4vhswFLZNbSuzTTODTl7ytYT5q8tmd-J9fCnEIgGlBTJ44pvnNCh6lLBOGEx5jQPmrO8XBdMLktZwnm7Rikrh_KbIRlK309XE-LXGOrsftvabhKLiJLu79edNdQId5c6J9/s1600/Portrait+-+Messenger.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSEjv381fBzL4vhswFLZNbSuzTTODTl7ytYT5q8tmd-J9fCnEIgGlBTJ44pvnNCh6lLBOGEx5jQPmrO8XBdMLktZwnm7Rikrh_KbIRlK309XE-LXGOrsftvabhKLiJLu79edNdQId5c6J9/s1600/Portrait+-+Messenger.png" /></a></div>
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<i>"It appears that his imperial highness could no longer bear the corruptness of Master Li Jue and decided to escape with a few of his followers... "</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" /></a></div>
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<i>"This is quite unfortunate... Surely the land shall be thrown into chaos once again."</i></div>
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Yeah, the land's been awful quiet and contented lately, what with Cao Cao seizing territory and Lu Bu being Lu Bu.</div>
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Anyway, I wasn't able to find a pottery city. This guy scolds me for my failure. You know, asshole, you could have just <i>told</i> me where to go for this. You're just as dumb as I am.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1QgG4LjobRnvBbAC5fSYwyT0uhFKLT_1QLtSJB7YctlBFier_8gDNUDmVc9YpMd58Lg_xehTjEwhlHZryR40Jrr3gYnz-yUTYu_Mwrp8gzMQBAGMzPkXMOF1cMCJPck_cGhGd9QC7s_mg/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-56-10-18.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1QgG4LjobRnvBbAC5fSYwyT0uhFKLT_1QLtSJB7YctlBFier_8gDNUDmVc9YpMd58Lg_xehTjEwhlHZryR40Jrr3gYnz-yUTYu_Mwrp8gzMQBAGMzPkXMOF1cMCJPck_cGhGd9QC7s_mg/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-56-10-18.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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More scripted events!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" /></a></div>
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<i>"So now Cao Cao's Army has justice on its side. We are going to have to keep an eye on them now more than ever before."</i></div>
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Koei's Three Kingdoms games use the word "justice" an awful lot, but I'm not actually sure that's the word they're looking for. Hell, I'm not actually sure there's a word in English for the concept they're trying to describe.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSEjv381fBzL4vhswFLZNbSuzTTODTl7ytYT5q8tmd-J9fCnEIgGlBTJ44pvnNCh6lLBOGEx5jQPmrO8XBdMLktZwnm7Rikrh_KbIRlK309XE-LXGOrsftvabhKLiJLu79edNdQId5c6J9/s1600/Portrait+-+Messenger.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSEjv381fBzL4vhswFLZNbSuzTTODTl7ytYT5q8tmd-J9fCnEIgGlBTJ44pvnNCh6lLBOGEx5jQPmrO8XBdMLktZwnm7Rikrh_KbIRlK309XE-LXGOrsftvabhKLiJLu79edNdQId5c6J9/s1600/Portrait+-+Messenger.png" /></a></div>
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<i>"Master Kong Rong of Bei Hai has already abandoned his post of prefect and gone to join Master Cao Cao. Furthermore, Chang An--which was under the control of Li Jue's Army--has also agreed to surrender to Master Cao Cao."</i></div>
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Basically, Cao Cao just went from a minor warlord to one of the major players in China. Scripted events are nice when they're in your favor.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" /></a></div>
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<i>"Even Chang An has surrendered? I wonder what will happen to Li Jue's Army... "</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSEjv381fBzL4vhswFLZNbSuzTTODTl7ytYT5q8tmd-J9fCnEIgGlBTJ44pvnNCh6lLBOGEx5jQPmrO8XBdMLktZwnm7Rikrh_KbIRlK309XE-LXGOrsftvabhKLiJLu79edNdQId5c6J9/s1600/Portrait+-+Messenger.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSEjv381fBzL4vhswFLZNbSuzTTODTl7ytYT5q8tmd-J9fCnEIgGlBTJ44pvnNCh6lLBOGEx5jQPmrO8XBdMLktZwnm7Rikrh_KbIRlK309XE-LXGOrsftvabhKLiJLu79edNdQId5c6J9/s1600/Portrait+-+Messenger.png" /></a></div>
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<i>"Sir, according to the reports... "</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpEHIwm7qdh4a-9_W8kVwqDs1KxUHHvhCjweZl-v-GejhCRTif4WIH10PYlB5UJcfPS07CpugtbLOVgLUMy3YL3f3trn3bepK-mx2Tv8gbYwsjIlvdCMjVbbPRZQZp3GRnLPCELHbZGkew/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-56-28-93.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpEHIwm7qdh4a-9_W8kVwqDs1KxUHHvhCjweZl-v-GejhCRTif4WIH10PYlB5UJcfPS07CpugtbLOVgLUMy3YL3f3trn3bepK-mx2Tv8gbYwsjIlvdCMjVbbPRZQZp3GRnLPCELHbZGkew/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-56-28-93.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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<i>"... a rift throughout the entire force. In the midst of all this, both Liu Jue and Guo Si were betrayed and killed by their men. In addition, an officer of Li Jue's, Zhang Ji, attacked Wan in an attempt to save his lord, but was killed by a stray arrow in the ensuing battle and killed. Zhang Ji's troop was taken over by his nephew, Zhang Xiu, who stationed troops at Wan. Afterwards, Master Zhang Xiu of Wan was approached by Liu Biao and both armies agreed to form an alliance."</i></div>
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Whew. That was a lot of infodump for a bunch of minor characters that even people who've read the Three Kingdoms novel probably don't remember. Long story short? Dong Zhuo's followers started killing eachother and western China is now a blasted wasteland.</div>
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But wait, here comes <i>another</i> scripted event.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiokxBWS_-5hBoL42nna8BVfbdDHBzfJOmtaoxt8Uq_C2syMxMy3rtGFOqIJkWaA1pZkNjbXmitbGd-vxFbP7Iec6mf6wjNMIOaaxRSFgq2xzC2GgMk4v8QXFAgqH2sl1t7IfXp9NkWzN7R/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-57-06-73.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiokxBWS_-5hBoL42nna8BVfbdDHBzfJOmtaoxt8Uq_C2syMxMy3rtGFOqIJkWaA1pZkNjbXmitbGd-vxFbP7Iec6mf6wjNMIOaaxRSFgq2xzC2GgMk4v8QXFAgqH2sl1t7IfXp9NkWzN7R/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+20-57-06-73.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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Yuan Shu, our Act I antagonist, is being a jerk.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ0MtaGVa8SFqjUmtakYAWgcl0CWZRBihdOa38H9zdIdSZr4TzyMvv1ebFdXRNCya30FcHUIdj9DDJ1Jd496bwgJ-peS2sCTatdreHeEZOBi_uHK3AddkRBXe1cK8QFToCSkYJwTL6bV9L/s1600/Portrait+-+Traveller.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ0MtaGVa8SFqjUmtakYAWgcl0CWZRBihdOa38H9zdIdSZr4TzyMvv1ebFdXRNCya30FcHUIdj9DDJ1Jd496bwgJ-peS2sCTatdreHeEZOBi_uHK3AddkRBXe1cK8QFToCSkYJwTL6bV9L/s1600/Portrait+-+Traveller.png" /></a></div>
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<i>"But it appears that Lord Lu Bu was able to arrange some sort of truce."</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7zIfqb7FERryQcB5jN-OEevr_T-FpdTsF-0rEIthIDf4NfdfvbOy_USzteD1t3gHW0dAKUYqUr1DopeqOt98P6aEXzatLFUXA4inaMnOdqdI7lXinTju1erSxBnhMoUbehVsUq0V15So4/s1600/Portrait+-+Merchant.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7zIfqb7FERryQcB5jN-OEevr_T-FpdTsF-0rEIthIDf4NfdfvbOy_USzteD1t3gHW0dAKUYqUr1DopeqOt98P6aEXzatLFUXA4inaMnOdqdI7lXinTju1erSxBnhMoUbehVsUq0V15So4/s1600/Portrait+-+Merchant.png" /></a></div>
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<i>"Lu Bu!? Arrange for a truce!? That's pretty hard to believe."</i></div>
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"Unless by 'truce' you mean 'murdering everyone there and declaring it a draw,' I mean."</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" /></a></div>
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<i>"Please, I wish to hear all of the details."</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxrQaEsO9SfxMlbLK0pEyQjOmVyDeM90oYZAuSG1PS-OPjoqdZsiF8TSVSWKKlUPAxhzriCc4raN6gebIPYIemxnCebJTXAUqhuM-7tNQ6zzArp1SSPJsLYu8sDoNqPDhUY9Q-gDI-dfgo/s1600/Portrait+-+Traveller.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxrQaEsO9SfxMlbLK0pEyQjOmVyDeM90oYZAuSG1PS-OPjoqdZsiF8TSVSWKKlUPAxhzriCc4raN6gebIPYIemxnCebJTXAUqhuM-7tNQ6zzArp1SSPJsLYu8sDoNqPDhUY9Q-gDI-dfgo/s1600/Portrait+-+Traveller.png" /></a></div>
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<i>"Lord Lu Meng. Apparently, Lord Lu Bu agreed to serve as some sort of arbitrator. You're not going to believe this, but he demanded that if he could hit his halberd with his bow from 150 paces away, that they would call a truce. They agreed, and he actually hit it. Both armies, although surprised, kept their word and withdrew."</i></div>
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Have you seen the size of that friggin' halberd? The challenge would have been <i>missing</i> it.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" /></a></div>
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<i>"I see... They felt they had no choice but to call a truce after witnessing such godlike skill."</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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Well, whatever. Looks like Lu Bu came to Liu Bei's rescue, and proved that underneath the taciturn facade and constant murders and betrayals, he really is a good guy after all.</div>
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It's nice to see a happy ending.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_4zisg6RUgp4o-7z-bsug53E-LE2As3k3DBbSqR5W61AQYJPeLa57Xqm1QDt7wr6-FKjHsJxjYEjaIjp1qRfd8HybA0LDyBCpZAmEKmV9yYBawbxSrBVrXGroCm-WJq3eIDO8ac9IaAao/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+21-03-02-30.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_4zisg6RUgp4o-7z-bsug53E-LE2As3k3DBbSqR5W61AQYJPeLa57Xqm1QDt7wr6-FKjHsJxjYEjaIjp1qRfd8HybA0LDyBCpZAmEKmV9yYBawbxSrBVrXGroCm-WJq3eIDO8ac9IaAao/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+21-03-02-30.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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ahahaha nope</div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtvnHawcBVJGBGrP5oOUb8EMdeYOytjtEmgfyR38aSKe87L6RZS3SMwSjV4_MSCzE8q5lmfKzH_D9kMVW3wxaxlLIMX8Vwuggrh9AZTcOnlYHQYKMTTAoHfZSK6T4O7aR4nO9vSumLmWan/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" /></a></div>
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<i>"What...? And where is Liu Bei's Army now?"</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSEjv381fBzL4vhswFLZNbSuzTTODTl7ytYT5q8tmd-J9fCnEIgGlBTJ44pvnNCh6lLBOGEx5jQPmrO8XBdMLktZwnm7Rikrh_KbIRlK309XE-LXGOrsftvabhKLiJLu79edNdQId5c6J9/s1600/Portrait+-+Messenger.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSEjv381fBzL4vhswFLZNbSuzTTODTl7ytYT5q8tmd-J9fCnEIgGlBTJ44pvnNCh6lLBOGEx5jQPmrO8XBdMLktZwnm7Rikrh_KbIRlK309XE-LXGOrsftvabhKLiJLu79edNdQId5c6J9/s1600/Portrait+-+Messenger.png" /></a></div>
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<i>"They joined with Cao Cao's Army and have entered Ru Nan."</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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That's actually not quite true; mechanically, Liu Bei is still an independent ruler, he just got to take over one of Cao's cities.</div>
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Anyway! This update was supposed to be showing you how to make tons of money with a minimum of time and effort. So far, it's just been gushing over Lu Su and getting bombarded with flavor text. Let's fast forward a bit.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzJVckVu5n17YPP1qonTQP-kdCWK4xl2_BulK9iLVkpiLYRCE9R9tL0oUl6RzzEiPj8d9p61ySeAr5XvBrdgm7CK5tsTbRGjrIj6q50KV0gHJJvI_8DLbdcbnYd3cRWz1xuVOVs71yq9VO/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+21-04-10-24.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzJVckVu5n17YPP1qonTQP-kdCWK4xl2_BulK9iLVkpiLYRCE9R9tL0oUl6RzzEiPj8d9p61ySeAr5XvBrdgm7CK5tsTbRGjrIj6q50KV0gHJJvI_8DLbdcbnYd3cRWz1xuVOVs71yq9VO/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+21-04-10-24.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
We take some jobs.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3CDCXkU6srrjN2r-vTclJj_g_ZLnb0R7BRrcv1efLfBJ5dACKd0HhSJdrUpWsDL4mzUHwPoIkUu8WzO-qAyGX_4Bc-3k2DhA2Ja5n9XG9WrZQz6CpgqnL1fL9-T5M0W93E0zj84zRQfg3/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+21-04-29-78.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3CDCXkU6srrjN2r-vTclJj_g_ZLnb0R7BRrcv1efLfBJ5dACKd0HhSJdrUpWsDL4mzUHwPoIkUu8WzO-qAyGX_4Bc-3k2DhA2Ja5n9XG9WrZQz6CpgqnL1fL9-T5M0W93E0zj84zRQfg3/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+21-04-29-78.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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We fail some jobs.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguEXv0cqT2KOTlUxalEgYuuWFVIeMXuvnndvh2q9tcQMPSiAZRG6cMaBSzA0MpSu_-Dw7JFb50xnACyfnI4lrmsP7Y8oKAKbDWNWmjLZ-z9UJJKzEMWgXRhMC3f7GrwI1-PJ9404dNhDJD/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+21-05-27-39.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguEXv0cqT2KOTlUxalEgYuuWFVIeMXuvnndvh2q9tcQMPSiAZRG6cMaBSzA0MpSu_-Dw7JFb50xnACyfnI4lrmsP7Y8oKAKbDWNWmjLZ-z9UJJKzEMWgXRhMC3f7GrwI1-PJ9404dNhDJD/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+21-05-27-39.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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Finally, with 1000 gold, we have enough cash to enact Operation: Benjamins.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8jrPwlhV0WPdUXaNKDIiWD2UI-riG_tmT7myiEfGK_JPC4Tzrjs42A1f8m1D020cPeb1o0Hq18CtIDfSqlWewS51UhlchfhlZDZXXVOSoljKKvq3To03WVGShhfhGcqYXhxUWUzAVRX8D/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+21-05-35-77.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8jrPwlhV0WPdUXaNKDIiWD2UI-riG_tmT7myiEfGK_JPC4Tzrjs42A1f8m1D020cPeb1o0Hq18CtIDfSqlWewS51UhlchfhlZDZXXVOSoljKKvq3To03WVGShhfhGcqYXhxUWUzAVRX8D/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+21-05-35-77.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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First, we found a new private unit.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgppoFAKwiMpnQwxD3QA1l8V5C32GJEmu42DfG3-haZAU8HN7HPaNpfYf4G5mFV18Ipb8NZZRJasBRWwyqHybR0l2eiBozz3L-3gzXzWc-lc54o2k2HyrfmKfUFr0dHpFl752_HqSh3-ai-/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+21-06-03-38.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgppoFAKwiMpnQwxD3QA1l8V5C32GJEmu42DfG3-haZAU8HN7HPaNpfYf4G5mFV18Ipb8NZZRJasBRWwyqHybR0l2eiBozz3L-3gzXzWc-lc54o2k2HyrfmKfUFr0dHpFl752_HqSh3-ai-/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+21-06-03-38.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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Then we recruit it up to full strength and train the newbies up to competency.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2aw4tEtqVyc-NLrisqNtSym6o0g2VHvLhIOpTk6pWmiJ0Map-_0auoKTWP51mH5331KY0ZjE5gi6O3K4BdTzxbZVzHauH8sUw3L7lItaxyJ8oVuJF6vsTAE0kVV5jLdYneHR6x_6KCG_9/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+21-08-05-87.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2aw4tEtqVyc-NLrisqNtSym6o0g2VHvLhIOpTk6pWmiJ0Map-_0auoKTWP51mH5331KY0ZjE5gi6O3K4BdTzxbZVzHauH8sUw3L7lItaxyJ8oVuJF6vsTAE0kVV5jLdYneHR6x_6KCG_9/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+21-08-05-87.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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Then we go home and declare ourselves an independent force.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilPnF52igfVe3yQHbxThZlkLioh9q3hvivwEcorSHKxhavSyyKIAHVZCqgx09Q3ECoUjfIyczGMozLLpeizHbPAohkpCsrK1Uksin_aIRqvjAQVqOOndnrhvuqV-B9Aa_xVkteDcEn6hA4/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+21-08-14-58.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilPnF52igfVe3yQHbxThZlkLioh9q3hvivwEcorSHKxhavSyyKIAHVZCqgx09Q3ECoUjfIyczGMozLLpeizHbPAohkpCsrK1Uksin_aIRqvjAQVqOOndnrhvuqV-B9Aa_xVkteDcEn6hA4/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+21-08-14-58.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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Then we invite our bestest buddy in the whole world.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1gZZpxwEEWIh4Xa7SDx_Nm4Jy4M868G7Hub6kwShFH_YCFr4RkkVLxMOAUaLvZQOZ9D2amb4zkqzRChbcZ3ZyRmuvsUPivFnCK-L05lRSSYXO0ypwjYSeSAIvVh-pauAZvtsQBG0y4UXP/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+21-08-18-98.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1gZZpxwEEWIh4Xa7SDx_Nm4Jy4M868G7Hub6kwShFH_YCFr4RkkVLxMOAUaLvZQOZ9D2amb4zkqzRChbcZ3ZyRmuvsUPivFnCK-L05lRSSYXO0ypwjYSeSAIvVh-pauAZvtsQBG0y4UXP/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+21-08-18-98.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Epic bromance.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-ZMzFADpL4IlESXPm7MZbvRK3GzrnU1EC-9GwjBDynaqxjTYvjmtr7_aPE_aq9mZG7wR4JG7R0BL_SuoxMvFORvTAT7r5fBlCWdtVvyl5WFX0AVLZV9Qqla4ANOmu0D1dVbBNNYYlL9aG/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+21-08-40-51.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-ZMzFADpL4IlESXPm7MZbvRK3GzrnU1EC-9GwjBDynaqxjTYvjmtr7_aPE_aq9mZG7wR4JG7R0BL_SuoxMvFORvTAT7r5fBlCWdtVvyl5WFX0AVLZV9Qqla4ANOmu0D1dVbBNNYYlL9aG/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+21-08-40-51.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Then we go to an unclaimed city, and have Lu Su convince them that we're totally cool and we'll run the city really well and things will be totally awesome with us in charge.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-3QBWNc5lASNYGc7lphGigm1kVhUFQBjUdxaFxnPlpAK40gVkfBka3Bh5zwI4m-AL1-jIXr11xAOj7FPVlYqx9saZrvAzJbgpIyOV0Sx9N7gb2TmIcvJKI93IiD2911Z4GLMuuh_hLzjm/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+21-08-46-85.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-3QBWNc5lASNYGc7lphGigm1kVhUFQBjUdxaFxnPlpAK40gVkfBka3Bh5zwI4m-AL1-jIXr11xAOj7FPVlYqx9saZrvAzJbgpIyOV0Sx9N7gb2TmIcvJKI93IiD2911Z4GLMuuh_hLzjm/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+21-08-46-85.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<i>"... banner."</i><br />
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Democratically seized, but seized nonetheless.<br />
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Then we go to the castle.<br />
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And then we go to the vault <i>inside</i> the castle.<br />
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<br />
And then we withdraw every goddamn penny in the city's coffers.<br />
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<br />
Aww yeah.<br />
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<br />
Then we go to the council chamber.<br />
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Then we declare that we are, once again, a rogue force.<br />
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Then we go to another city and do the same thing.</div>
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You can keep doing this as many times as you want, at least until all of the free cities are snatched up by the various rulers. Even once they are, getting yourself appointed Prefect of a city gives you access to its vault, and it's extremely common for cities that have been under AI control for a few years to have hundreds of thousands of gold coins sitting around, collecting dust.</div>
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The only problem is that abandoning a claimed city and going rogue gives you a hit to your Fame. Fame increases the likelihood of positive events while you're working, and makes it easier to get an audience with important NPCs.</div>
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But what <i>really</i> kills your Fame is when you decide you've plundered enough coin and disband your rogue army.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Also, yet <i>another</i> scripted event. This was the ancient Chinese Red Wedding where Cao Cao lost a son and a bodyguard, and was <i>way</i> more broken up about the bodyguard.</div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i>And I... will always love you... </i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<br />
Anyway, this seems like enough money for now.<br />
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<br />
Off we go! See you in a few years, Lu Su. Don't get recruited by anyone but Sun Ce, we're going to need you there.<br />
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Finally, <i>finally</i>, it's time to get our learning on.</div>
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Next time, we'll skip past a whole bunch of repetitive button pressing and join up with the Sun family. And then we'll do a bunch more repetitive button pressing, but on someone else's behalf!</div>
Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-13274949754918891272014-08-02T15:31:00.005-07:002014-08-02T15:32:24.169-07:00Let's Play ROTK X Part 4: Captain Average Rises<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj49mIAcRhequRLBjjgTCHkw-BZ1TFpAIZvIeH6Kc6J47CfGhwyHwD2RgYpEBBLzR5e3rQHgaA4muNx1qcAts2bU_9g8SColpgDruWVWb7Jm-rDj0wezIMId-Yb8aLaxPfrxGNvtCo0VWao/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+14-12-02-89.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj49mIAcRhequRLBjjgTCHkw-BZ1TFpAIZvIeH6Kc6J47CfGhwyHwD2RgYpEBBLzR5e3rQHgaA4muNx1qcAts2bU_9g8SColpgDruWVWb7Jm-rDj0wezIMId-Yb8aLaxPfrxGNvtCo0VWao/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+14-12-02-89.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Let's get ourselves a job we're more qualified for.<br />
<br />
As a 17-year-old college student, our resume isn't exactly leaping off the page. However, if there's one thing undergrads are fully capable of, it's throwing a damn party. Let's join a festival!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL_nbAb6U1YvGMvbPlN0dUD-9kkxGFVRFmPeqx-Z3rShdM9S2wpYuy7dbQIVSpASY0PldarQejovM2T5pS5AGmXXdKKedv1tR-GuLCmtcNcjAeb6PhwCm38rcHNRW74w8fIgCgUSGdQ1ux/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+14-12-14-90.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL_nbAb6U1YvGMvbPlN0dUD-9kkxGFVRFmPeqx-Z3rShdM9S2wpYuy7dbQIVSpASY0PldarQejovM2T5pS5AGmXXdKKedv1tR-GuLCmtcNcjAeb6PhwCm38rcHNRW74w8fIgCgUSGdQ1ux/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-02+14-12-14-90.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<i>"... you would join us."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Wait, we don't even have any responsibilities? You're literally just paying us to attend?<br />
<br />
Do go on.<br />
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<br />
So, we head to the farm...<br />
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<br />
And get ready to party!<br />
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<br />
Lu Meng, party scientist.<br />
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<br />
Two hundred bucks and a bump to our reputation. This is the greatest job of all time.<br />
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<a name='more'></a><br />
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<br />
Unfortunately, there aren't any parties in need of Meng's legen... dary services today. But... look! If we put on our Captain Average cape and tights, we can get ourselves a cool spear! Sure, it's only +1 to our WAR stat, but when we eventually snag a better one, we can gift this to one of our friends or minions to boost our relationship.<br />
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<br />
Fear not, citizen! Captain Average is on the case!<br />
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<br />
If you have a current request or assignment from a ruler, you can hit L2 on the world map to bring up a short synopsis of it. Some jobs have multiple stages that require you to travel to multiple cities or track down specific people, which is when this screen truly becomes a godsend.<br />
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<br />
Villains!<br />
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<i>"Welcome. I've been waiting. Do you have any final words?"</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Er... final words? I don't think we're on the same page with this superhero thing, Meng.<br />
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<br />
Duel time!<br />
<br />
No video this time. It's not going to last long enough for one.<br />
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<i>"The time has come to pay for your crimes!"</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
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<i>"I have to face Lu Meng? I have a feeling this is gonna hurt... "</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
You're goddamned right.<br />
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<br />
So, dueling!<br />
<br />
Dueling is actually pretty similar to debating, but it tends to be a little less dependent on random chance. As with debates, you get a certain number of cards each round. The basic attacks come in St-, Sl-, and Sw- flavors, in both strong and light varieties. Occasionally, you'll draw a Special attack; everyone has a chance of drawing Rush, a moderate-damage attack, and other Duel skills add more attacks. Finally, there are the Defend cards: Evade, Guard, and Flee. Each round, you pick a combination of three cards (or just one Special card), which are matched against your opponent's choices.<br />
<br />
The various normal attacks have sort of a Rock-Paper-Scissors relationship. St- attacks (Strike and Stab) beat Sl- and Sw- attacks. Sl- attacks (Slash and Slice) beat Sw- attacks. Sw- (Sweep and Swing) beat Evade. Evade beats St- and Sl- attacks. Guard just reduces the damage you take from any attack. Flee is pretty self explanatory.<br />
<br />
If both opponents match an attack of the same type (Slash vs. Slice, for example), both attacks are deflected and a glowing orb of darkness appears. The next successful attack from either character will do additional damage. If a character's attack is Evaded, they are briefly stunned and lose their next action.<br />
<br />
Finally, depending on the difference between the opponents' WAR scores, there's a chance that the duel will be instantly resolved with a single blow. It doesn't proc all the time, but I've even seen it happen between characters with 103 and 102 WAR. (I was the one with 102. I was a little annoyed.)<br />
<br />
Anyway, let's beat this dude up and get our new spear.<br />
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<br />
Bif!<br />
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<br />
Pow!<br />
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<br />
Zok!<br />
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<br />
Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na LU MENG!<br />
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<br />
Justice was dispensed, and the streets are safe... for now.<br />
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<br />
And we got this! Our crime-fighting capabilities are 1.2% stronger!<br />
<br />
Well, that was exciting. But new spears aren't going to pay for school. Let's knock out a few more odd jobs.<br />
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<br />
We throw another party...<br />
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We file some paperwork...<br />
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We fight some crime...<br />
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<i>"... assistance from Liu Bei. It appears they have already entered Xiao Pei."</i><br />
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We get interrupted by a messenger clone...<br />
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And finally, we have enough cash to buy another six weeks of schooling.<br />
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And just before the turn of the year, we finally hit 42 Intelligence. Just 28 more points to go!<br />
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... Yeah, we're going to need a faster way to earn money. Fortunately, if you don't mind dropping to 0 Fame, there are very easy ways to make coin. Next time, we'll check some of them out.Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-36898251541056564352014-08-02T04:56:00.004-07:002014-08-02T05:08:03.064-07:00Let's Play ROTK X Part 3: Men Shouting on Bridges<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It occurs to me that if I'd bothered to show off the stats screen at the beginning, I could have avoided losing three weeks' tuition money to my private army. <i>C'est la vie.</i><br />
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Here's a list of Meng's skills. Each row of skills cover different aspects of the game.<br />
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The first row are the Job skills; they all boost the results of things a character might have to do between fights, from improving the farmlands, researching new technology, patrolling for bad guys, or hiring soldiers. Meng starts with Repair, Order, and Drill, meaning he's good at rebuilding walls, fighting crime, and teaching peasants to stick them with the pointy end.<br />
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The second row are Battle skills. These are Leadership-based abilities to be used in combat. Charge lets you push enemies around the map, Missile lets you use fire arrows, Unison lets you surround enemies and attack them at once, Settle removed negative status effects, Rally buffs morale, Surprise lets you attack non-adjacent enemies, and Distract... I'm not actually sure what Distract does.<br />
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Third row are the Strategy skills. These are also used in battle, but are based off your Intelligence stat. Blunder makes two adjacent enemy units fight eachother, Stun stuns, Entice (despite its vaguely sexy name) taunts enemies, Confuse confuses, Aero lets you change the wind's direction (useful if you play with fire), Geo lets you dig pits for enemies to fall into, and Maze... actually doesn't get any use in battle, but <i>does</i> let you build Mazes on the world map instead of Forts.<br />
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Fourth row: Duel skills! If you're fighting someone one-on-one, these help you beat their heads in more efficiently. I'm sure I'll cover dueling in more depth, since it's one of the few things Meng's decent at, so I'll go into more detail later.<br />
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Fifth row: Debate skills! ROTK X introduced a duel-like system for the nerdier characters. Typically used to resolve diplomatic actions, debates are abstractly represented by two men standing on a bridge and shouting at eachother until one of them falls off. Yeah, I don't know. More detail for this coming later, but suffice it to say, debating is <i>bullshit</i>. At least until you get Plead and Insight. And then it's bullshit in the other direction.<br />
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Finally, the sixth row covers reknown skills. These are earned in various ways, and give nice bonuses that help specialize your character's role in the world. Meng starts with Admiral, meaning that when he's fighting in a boat, he won't be constantly dragged around by the tide. The skill I <i>really</i> want for him is Warlord, which is going to require 70 Intelligence and a metric butt-ton of Tactics XP. I'd also like to pick up Doctor, since I think it will help him prolong his life--and even if it won't, it's a fun skill to have.<br />
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Whew. Let's see what the rest of the screens have in store!<br />
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Meng hasn't earned any skill XP yet, aside from 15 Order points for his stint as Captain Average in Luo Yang. Which he doesn't need, because he starts with the Order skill. <i>Really</i> should have looked at these screens first.<br />
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This tab keeps track of various things Meng has done in his life. Right now, there isn't much to see.<br />
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Similarly, this screen tracks Meng's personal relationships. I don't really know how one gets married in this game, but I <i>do</i> know that swearing oaths of brotherhood means getting your best friends drunk enough to do something stupid. Vodka is magic.</div>
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Here's the screen that would have saved us some annoyance. I'm not sure if it changes when you join up with a faction, since you can't have private armies then. This might be the first time I've ever actually looked at it.</div>
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Finally, here's Meng's official in-game biography. Created characters get one that changes depending on what faction they're in, what rank they are, and how badass/incompetent they are. Sadly, the screen doesn't really track their history; a created general who served Shu for years before stabbing them in the back and joining Wei would just be described as "an officer under Cao Cao" thereafter, despite his heinous betrayal.</div>
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But enough about menus! Let's get back to... other, prettier menus!</div>
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Last time, we were about to leave our home town behind, pack everything we own onto our horse, and take a gamble on a future in the big city.<br />
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Fortunately, moving in ROTK X is a lot easier than moving in real life.<br />
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So, we're here! Of course, we're also flat broke, so we're going to have to earn some money again before we can go back to college.<br />
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Seriously, I didn't mean for this Let's Play to be such an on-the-nose metaphor for the conditions faced by modern-day students, but... damn.<br />
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Hmm. We can Sell Product, which would be an easy 300 gold even if Trade experience is worthless to us. We could play Captain Average again, earning <strike>War</strike> Order XP. We could beat up a bandit and show off the dueling system.<br />
<br />
Or, we can go chase down some punk kid (who is likely the same age as us) and tell him to go back home, earning enough for another trip to the School of INT <i>and</i> giving us some Tactics XP we'll need for Warlord in one go!<br />
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<br />
"I mean, the only thing they have there is fish. <i>Fish!</i> We have fish in Luo Yang! Sure, they're all burnt up thanks to Dong Zhuo torching the place, but that just means they're pre-cooked!"<br />
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<br />
So, let's show off that city list menu I mentioned last time.<br />
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<br />
By default, selecing City opens up a map of China. It's cool and all, but if you don't know where the city you're looking for is, it's not very helpful.<br />
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<br />
Fortunately, hitting L1 switches to list mode. Now we just find Hui Ji...<br />
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<br />
Sixteen days. It takes a little over a month to travel from one end of the map to the other. I have no idea if that's realistic or not, but it means Hui Ji's a pretty good hike from us.<br />
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<br />
It's an uneventful trip. If you look at the minimap, you can see that Hui Ji's on the far eastern coast. Our future buddies Sun Ce and Sun Quan will be occupying this town sooner or later.<br />
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<br />
We head to the tavern and immediately spot the runaway.<br />
<br />
Also, Lu Meng is 17.<br />
<br />
Just pointing that out.<br />
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<br />
To my horror, this triggers a debate.<br />
<i><br /></i>
It does not go well.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/0FAAmNmyLXI?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
So, let me explain what just happened.<br />
<br />
Debates are, essentially, a card game. Every turn, you draw up to your maximum hand size. The hand size is (as I literally only figured out during this debate) determined by a character's Intelligence. Every ten points gives you another card/orb thing. When you use one of your orbs, you draw a new one, but the rest stay in your hand.<br />
<br />
The Debate skills add more orbs to your deck. Awe, seen in the video, is basically a passive damage-over-time effect. As long as an Awe orb is on the board, you'll hit your opponent for a little damage at the start of every turn. Other skills are more straightforward; Fault is a direct damage attack, Incite stuns your opponent for a couple turns, and Plead blocks an opponent's special command automatically as long as it's in your hand. Argue, Taunt, and Refute are upgraded versions of those orbs that have additional effects.<br />
<br />
Typically, the higher the number on your orb, the better. However, if either character manages to match three orbs in a row of the same color on that grid at the bottom right, the number values flip and lower orbs become more powerful. It also deals a pretty hefty attack to your opponent. But if you manage to match three orbs of each different color, <i>you</i> get hit for a bunch instead.<br />
<br />
So, basically, through a combination of being extremely dumb and extremely unlucky, we just got shouted off a bridge by a punk kid. The fact that we, too, are a punk kid doesn't really make it less embarrassing.<br />
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>"If your parents knew about this, do you know how it would make them feel."</i></div>
<br />
Meng is dead inside.<br />
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<br />
Welp, back to Luo Yang. But first...<br />
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<br />
... let's see if any undiscovered characters are hanging out here.<br />
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<br />
Nope. Just... this.<br />
<br />
I don't even know, man.<br />
<br />
Well, I hope Fuckface McChang over there enjoys his exciting new life selling fish and fish-related accessories, because we are getting the hell out of here.<br />
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>"I hate to admit it, but... I failed."</i></div>
<i><br /></i>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>"What? I was sure you of all people could handle it."</i></div>
<i><br /></i>
Have you <i>met</i> us?<br />
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Well, looks like we're going to have to find another way to pay for our tuition. Next time, we'll try falling back on our brawn rather than our brains. Captain Average, away!Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-17471345921267542732014-08-01T16:21:00.000-07:002014-08-01T16:26:35.254-07:00Let's Play ROTK X Part 2: Lu Meng, College Student<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So, here we are. Chai Shang is a relatively small city located in southeastern China. If the game followed the novels, it would probably be Lu Meng's base of operations for his final campaign against Guan Yu.<br />
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It's pretty boring. Let's blow this joint.</div>
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Welcome to the world map! Unlike in ROTK6 and 8, the other two strategy/RPG entries in the series, you can travel freely around China and search every nook and cranny for random treasure and/or bandit attacks. Unfortunately, this also meant the removal of the multiplayer feature which let you control multiple characters at once. (Or play with a friend, if you're weird.)</div>
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You can also just choose a specific city or landmark to travel to from a list, but I know where we're going and trust me, we'll see that list plenty of times in the future.</div>
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I'm on a boat!<br />
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I'm on a horse!<br />
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I'm on a burnt-out husk of a former capital city!</div>
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This is why we're here. Luo Yang boasts one of the handful of schools scattered around China. Intelligence is what Meng is most lacking and most in need of right now, so we're going to enroll and spend some time crackin' books.<br />
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Hey, the mechanics don't really support us following <i>exactly</i> in Lu Meng's footsteps. If I waited to start training Int until I met Sun Quan, I'd probably be dead before I got it to a decent level.<br />
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Before we can enroll, this guy harangues me. Apparently, despite being a 17-year-old college student wannabe, Meng is important enough to warrant priority news alerts from China's omnipresent network of messenger clones.</div>
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<i>"It appears Sun Ce's Army is moving. But where are they heading to?"</i><br />
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<i>"Depending on who you ask, it appears that Master Sun Ce has exchanged the Imperial Seal in return for some troops from Yuan Shu."</i><br />
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<i>"The Imperial Seal? That's a high price to pay... "</i><br />
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The Imperial Seal was some kind of MacGuffin that proved the right to rule of whoever held it, except that no it didn't and its only role in this story is to set up Yuan Shu as an early antagonist.<br />
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Anyway, that's exciting and all, and we'll be joining the Sun family eventually, but right now it's time to start classes.<br />
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We head to the School of INT.<br />
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Classes cost 300 gold for every twenty days' worth of lessons. It's almost as bad as American tuition.<br />
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Time passes...<br />
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Success! Lu Meng gains 41 INT experience. When it hits 100, he'll gain a point to his stat.</div>
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We do this a couple more times, and Meng hits 41 Intelligence! He's well on his way to being as smart as an average bandit.</div>
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This guy again.</div>
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<i>"What!? How could such a thing happen to Pu Yang... "</i><br />
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<i>"It seems that Master Chen Gong and Master Zhang Miao of Cao Cao's Army defected to Lu Bu's Army and turned over control of Pu Yang to him."</i></div>
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Chen Gong became a playable character in <i>Dynasty Warriors 8</i>. He is <i>hilariously</i> evil. He even sounds like an 80's cartoon villain. It's seriously amazing.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhluoz3AKy6kSwc_5CXFzQ8uKQ752y7WquXXaDmy1lLHoGv9XFymRTxHnWqQARvuR71wxfXaMQ5Ey6JzQeuMwPWaqgpCdm-8vv2eORxG2JMLubNsjy001eJKSg6XAI9ANaKWbDTsnU8Sof/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhluoz3AKy6kSwc_5CXFzQ8uKQ752y7WquXXaDmy1lLHoGv9XFymRTxHnWqQARvuR71wxfXaMQ5Ey6JzQeuMwPWaqgpCdm-8vv2eORxG2JMLubNsjy001eJKSg6XAI9ANaKWbDTsnU8Sof/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" /></a></div>
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<i>"So Cao Cao's Army and Lu Bu's Army are engaging in battle... Things are going to get pretty rough in Yan for awhile."</i></div>
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Yeah-huh. Sucks for them. Anyway, we're a bit low on funds now, so like many college students, we're going to have to find a part time job.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6uqsh28fqjq6YwqXeuZdHSDVNP_liw-PfC0u4Uiy7o-TGKN5N6WKPXYz08hN0OlT-QqI4sxNenTzWYHiuslkQ_RA95ZWMxmmqe1CwO9Tiu71DWxcUevWoIO7aW3wXyMpAK51QoccHdygZ/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-19-44-87.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6uqsh28fqjq6YwqXeuZdHSDVNP_liw-PfC0u4Uiy7o-TGKN5N6WKPXYz08hN0OlT-QqI4sxNenTzWYHiuslkQ_RA95ZWMxmmqe1CwO9Tiu71DWxcUevWoIO7aW3wXyMpAK51QoccHdygZ/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-19-44-87.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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We head to the tavern...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjijaa_nFu-PS9axOATNUiS1Ymj373cY6XOkkJCMnSfkloPgDnv4071uDjj0fwW6ncz8cn8sn4W1we89_DSidrTlHgCOY8e6DGYDQe_ZTQdpsc0vO334uu8tR0FVemk_pVny2VOpPHiZVLX/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-19-50-84.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjijaa_nFu-PS9axOATNUiS1Ymj373cY6XOkkJCMnSfkloPgDnv4071uDjj0fwW6ncz8cn8sn4W1we89_DSidrTlHgCOY8e6DGYDQe_ZTQdpsc0vO334uu8tR0FVemk_pVny2VOpPHiZVLX/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-19-50-84.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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... and see if anyone has any work.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5nJ6kUmLYHN8HS5d8IPpkBAEpgQx4Hme4oAkdRoG7I_kohC4gGC81ZDOFJ_nmhdMVbd16jVf0-hYyiwxAZRKRp1kKyociC6YW2AOVfmFqBR81-OhvzRWBjg3w6kE84SP24aWI5n16iqV5/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-19-53-06.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5nJ6kUmLYHN8HS5d8IPpkBAEpgQx4Hme4oAkdRoG7I_kohC4gGC81ZDOFJ_nmhdMVbd16jVf0-hYyiwxAZRKRp1kKyociC6YW2AOVfmFqBR81-OhvzRWBjg3w6kE84SP24aWI5n16iqV5/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-19-53-06.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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Deliver Product pays well, but it means (potentially) having to hike all the way across the map. We'll hold off on that for now. Catch Thieves will take place here in town and give us some WAR experience, which isn't quite as important to us as INT, but could still come in handy.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhauXmZNQPrSjDVwN51oG5Enjjrr8A985916BtOtiWpG5HNKMQqSEp_pcN2AJ4_wlxhuTOCNk11bAQdLZoi6cROY2u9cpNlG43RJ4YcOHz7Yp3wm4nBnPNnK7lsYWlgDnqBJgO6X7TaYBJo/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-20-00-80.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhauXmZNQPrSjDVwN51oG5Enjjrr8A985916BtOtiWpG5HNKMQqSEp_pcN2AJ4_wlxhuTOCNk11bAQdLZoi6cROY2u9cpNlG43RJ4YcOHz7Yp3wm4nBnPNnK7lsYWlgDnqBJgO6X7TaYBJo/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-20-00-80.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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Have no fear, citizen! Captain Average is here!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7RyOkFxqXvNuuDg5xAOBDugO805LrHewem3gZyfTo0OuQRWXgyp4CiGFUXuMnDN8cpU4a9vUjQZrHDeNSMXEuOIL-yrYQuGiCzXLhAT5vTusoFOQGNGf41e_Y8EiHm3gaRho1sRCN0hpp/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-20-10-10.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7RyOkFxqXvNuuDg5xAOBDugO805LrHewem3gZyfTo0OuQRWXgyp4CiGFUXuMnDN8cpU4a9vUjQZrHDeNSMXEuOIL-yrYQuGiCzXLhAT5vTusoFOQGNGf41e_Y8EiHm3gaRho1sRCN0hpp/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-20-10-10.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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We head to the market...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0dTFtQWG2Q_lyE7bPJxAnAAY3WJJQm71_51JtwzvV6tDS7z5EV2LlCu_gyV31DtNFBHg1OUi4PQRLQqGSxm75BBAxs7-sDDGyYyMCUbL9cj8PPHjfCwQX8YhBe8GhKDOhRhRhTvZ5yzBT/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-20-12-67.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0dTFtQWG2Q_lyE7bPJxAnAAY3WJJQm71_51JtwzvV6tDS7z5EV2LlCu_gyV31DtNFBHg1OUi4PQRLQqGSxm75BBAxs7-sDDGyYyMCUbL9cj8PPHjfCwQX8YhBe8GhKDOhRhRhTvZ5yzBT/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-20-12-67.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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... and spend the next ten days chasing pickpockets.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2i8qsodR-BVXCbI59i0bl4biWlW5AKrRXWuKuyMoTzTBXKWUwb8bmIdikHUehQE4jnbwB6krBw0uLCu6Z4qguTUJEWtXCpgeLxjQ2Rm7e7VIHO3rvr2dZhYx3P35cVGvJSUCABNgbGe2J/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-20-23-71.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2i8qsodR-BVXCbI59i0bl4biWlW5AKrRXWuKuyMoTzTBXKWUwb8bmIdikHUehQE4jnbwB6krBw0uLCu6Z4qguTUJEWtXCpgeLxjQ2Rm7e7VIHO3rvr2dZhYx3P35cVGvJSUCABNgbGe2J/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-20-23-71.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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We succeed at dispensing justice. Captain Average, away!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj13q0x8Vn2XAHklFCKrRhQAcGYy3bLH7Y0RYjQPfwKhqFQ3kneN3KEzuKmVbLZUhaeaOQCLYX9qYOTy7XUwXQvsqO-JwV0OtPDzLCJfyvRo5A8kMyJ1kqHO0AHvPLaw9oR9sGZkxRDZz8g/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-20-35-64.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj13q0x8Vn2XAHklFCKrRhQAcGYy3bLH7Y0RYjQPfwKhqFQ3kneN3KEzuKmVbLZUhaeaOQCLYX9qYOTy7XUwXQvsqO-JwV0OtPDzLCJfyvRo5A8kMyJ1kqHO0AHvPLaw9oR9sGZkxRDZz8g/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-20-35-64.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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And with that, we've got enough cash to enroll in another twenty days of college.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhlAiubhxPG5LnUK2uDLPaltmuySP4MI-J4tG7e_RtdC8Vj49Xuv8ELbf4UaMjXoR7Rd9KpIcMf1htmgYwVoB-Xt8jzo_Sa3ZAvu02gYmQAbyDDToPqlD0qDcmP8xTP-5V9Dqhyphenhyphena5JjinM/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-20-55-16.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhlAiubhxPG5LnUK2uDLPaltmuySP4MI-J4tG7e_RtdC8Vj49Xuv8ELbf4UaMjXoR7Rd9KpIcMf1htmgYwVoB-Xt8jzo_Sa3ZAvu02gYmQAbyDDToPqlD0qDcmP8xTP-5V9Dqhyphenhyphena5JjinM/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-20-55-16.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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Eighty days of school, and I'm finally starting to grasp basic subtraction.</div>
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Hey, speaking of, what happened to my money? I should have had some left...</div>
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... oh. Whoops. Back to Chai Sang!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_gVlnT0qgXS7Xnxj2a6lve_MYzlKXSANjNJJJ7HJBH9LddAeKMXjbgCSQ13LTJy2vBvPQ_VZS_CbTp943o66qWqsuTWmGaqcp3p1uTS6Kji-qw1Anh8q0pIBJTWji4zVAXKrXIio5WCC1/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-21-19-08.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_gVlnT0qgXS7Xnxj2a6lve_MYzlKXSANjNJJJ7HJBH9LddAeKMXjbgCSQ13LTJy2vBvPQ_VZS_CbTp943o66qWqsuTWmGaqcp3p1uTS6Kji-qw1Anh8q0pIBJTWji4zVAXKrXIio5WCC1/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-21-19-08.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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The moment I arrive, another messenger clone ambushes me.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhluoz3AKy6kSwc_5CXFzQ8uKQ752y7WquXXaDmy1lLHoGv9XFymRTxHnWqQARvuR71wxfXaMQ5Ey6JzQeuMwPWaqgpCdm-8vv2eORxG2JMLubNsjy001eJKSg6XAI9ANaKWbDTsnU8Sof/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhluoz3AKy6kSwc_5CXFzQ8uKQ752y7WquXXaDmy1lLHoGv9XFymRTxHnWqQARvuR71wxfXaMQ5Ey6JzQeuMwPWaqgpCdm-8vv2eORxG2JMLubNsjy001eJKSg6XAI9ANaKWbDTsnU8Sof/s1600/Portrait+-+Lu+Meng.png" /></a></div>
<i>"I see... Cao Cao's Army was at war with Tao Qian's Army. I wonder how they will deal with Liu Bei's Army... "</i><br />
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The Central Plains are a clusterfuck right now. It's not going to get less messy any time soon, either.<br />
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Anyway, this is why we're here. For some reason, Lu Meng started off with his own private unit of foot soldiers.<br />
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Private units are... interesting? I guess? A free officer can hire a retinue of up to 10,000 soldiers of whatever types are available to the city they establish the unit in. If they join an existing army, their private unit (I believe) comes with. They can also instead find a city they want and try to conquer it with their private army, thereby starting a new faction. This is easier done with unoccupied towns, obviously.<br />
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Why Lu Meng started with one, I could not tell you. Maybe I'm supposed to deliver it to Sun Ce?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8D5rwfvwXzt0o6fHAJWUPcFSM85nd62oc9Eg3yIvtwFWjpUjVhYA6vgtazp8sPNgIHPmfAhKSTcQIXYZYZhyphenhyphenf4a5Z_Jccq8xpWXccbzdiQ6Ee_3c7hCxYU7mjVk0N8NkLlqnS2vubWS6k/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-21-40-56.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8D5rwfvwXzt0o6fHAJWUPcFSM85nd62oc9Eg3yIvtwFWjpUjVhYA6vgtazp8sPNgIHPmfAhKSTcQIXYZYZhyphenhyphenf4a5Z_Jccq8xpWXccbzdiQ6Ee_3c7hCxYU7mjVk0N8NkLlqnS2vubWS6k/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-21-40-56.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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Nah. I've got tuition fees.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6ruWdYs2HlYYFHThsKAt1tXG06CCeOMEw9q6MWeUDeMK6YDvlt0V-KyFkXeCuRhVSja4WV6rXIxINQ9LCoT8C8QxAIiUEYfdGdw193YkAfN6I9Wia5Ut3B71lox2ZPP6XJoyBKd9QHtYe/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-21-46-44.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6ruWdYs2HlYYFHThsKAt1tXG06CCeOMEw9q6MWeUDeMK6YDvlt0V-KyFkXeCuRhVSja4WV6rXIxINQ9LCoT8C8QxAIiUEYfdGdw193YkAfN6I9Wia5Ut3B71lox2ZPP6XJoyBKd9QHtYe/s1600/pcsx2-r5875+2014-08-01+15-21-46-44.png" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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Well, now I'm broke and halfway across the country from my campus again. At least my useless private army isn't draining my wallet any longer.</div>
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Next time: I file for residency in Luo Yang, and the Central Plains get wracked by even more scripted events. Excitement!</div>
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Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-56154296288778987812014-08-01T14:57:00.002-07:002014-08-01T15:13:10.392-07:00Let's Play Romance of the Three Kingdoms X<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>Romance of the Three Kingdoms X</i> is the foundation for the perfect game. Not that it itself is perfect, by any means, but the fundamental structure of it--control any character you wish in the midst of a sprawling epic of war and betrayal over the course of nearly a century--is just begging for a setting like Westeros or Eberron to really bring it to life.<br />
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What is <i>RotK10</i>, you ask? Well, as the name implies, it's the tenth in Koei's line of strategy (and occasionally strategy/RPG) games about the Three Kingdoms era of ancient China. Like its more famous cousin, <i>Dynasty Warriors</i>, ROTK takes the characters and events from Luo Guanzhong's <i>Romance of the Three Kingdoms</i> novel and lets you experience/recreate history as them; unlike the <i>Warriors</i> games, though, this series aims for a more realistic take on the characters, pulling characters like Guan Yu and Cao Cao off the front lines and putting them in charge of armies, cities, and empires.<br />
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Most of the ROTK games are straightforward grand strategy games. Pick (or create) a ruler and try to conquer/unite China. However, a few games in the series offered a twist: rather than controlling Sun Quan, why not play as Taishi Ci? Let the AI handle the deal-making and warmongering, while you train your martial skills, journey the land seeking adventure and glory, or just sit in town and teach the peasants how to work a field properly. These games allowed players the freedom to tell their own, emergent stories, to tinker with the systems and figure out how to break them, and to immerse themselves into the game world--at least as far as the clunky, menu-driven UI would let them. They were so beloved that they spawned sites like <a href="http://simrtk.net/" target="_blank">SimRTK</a>, allowing players from around the world to engage in a forum-based MMO version of the games.<br />
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Sadly, the series seems to be defunct. Koei's last pair of entries were both straightforward empire building titles, and sales of ROTK XI were so poor in the U.S. that XII will likely never be ported. The chances of us getting another RPG hybrid in the series appear to be nil.<br />
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But at least we can still play our beloved old PS2 games on our modern systems, right?<br />
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... yeah moving on<br />
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This Let's Play is going to be based on screenshots rather than videos, because the entire damned thing is menus and maps and watching me talk over it would be like watching cheese congeal. So, what's the plan?<br />
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Meet Lu Meng. Lu Meng is one of the most interesting figures in the Three Kingdoms story. He began his career as an officer under Sun Ce and Sun Quan, earning some distinction for his skill in battle but largely being dismissed as a "mere warrior" for not being all that bright. However, upon meeting Meng personally, Sun Quan encouraged him to start developing his mind through the study of history. Meng discovered a heretofore unknown love of learning, and quickly became one of Wu's most distinguished and capable generals. His most famous act was his defeat of Guan Yu at Jing Province through a series of hijinks that would make an afterschool kids' show proud. Unfortunately, Meng was in poor health and died a few months later.<br />
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We're going to play as Lu Meng, and we're going to do our best to follow in his footsteps--and maybe see about keeping him from kicking the bucket quite so soon. Our ultimate goal (because the game won't end until this happens) will be to unify China under Wu, but I'll be honest: that's not likely to happen. Instead, this will probably continue until Meng croaks, although I <i>do</i> have a plan for continuing past that. We'll see.<br />
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Let's get to the game!<br />
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Once we're done basking in the glorious warbling of Chinese opera singers, we can get started.<br />
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Here's our main menu. Most of it's pretty self-explanatory. "New Officers" lets you create up to 110 fictional characters, which you can either play as or just drop into the setting to see how badly they mess everything up. We won't be using any in this LP, even though it would make some things a <i>lot</i> easier.<br />
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Choosing "New Game" opens up a list of starting dates/situations. The dates correspond to pivotal events in the ROTK novel (and some of 'em are even historically accurate, too).<br />
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We're going to begin in the third month of 194. The game itself will give us a recap of what's going on, but here's the broad strokes: Dong Zhuo's dead, Cao Cao has elite spear dudes, Lu Bu is being a titanic dick, and Sun Ce is headed towards the east coast so he can start conquering things.<br />
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See?<br />
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Here's Lu Meng's starting stats. Leadership determines how effective the character is at leading troops; how much damage they deal and take with their attacks, basically. War is their skill at personal combat, which typically only comes into play with duels. Intelligence helps employ and resist tactics like Confuse and Blunder, and also seems to help a character know whether or not a non-battle action will succeed. Politics doesn't have anything to do with combat, but it helps a lot with improving cities and conducting diplomacy. Finally, Charisma is personal charm and magnetism, helping you make friends with NPCs and recruit soldiers. It also helps with debates in some vague way.<br />
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With an 83 Leadership and 81 War, Meng is a competent if unimpressive general. 40 Intelligence and 38 Politics, however, mean that he's not going to be of much use for anything besides soldiery. With 82 Charisma, he'll at least be able to make friends without <i>too</i> much trouble--which is good, because he's going to need them.<br />
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And here's the options we're starting with. Yeah, "Beginner," I know, but all "Adanced" seems to do is make battles and campaigns harder, and having to cope with the idiotic AI is difficult enough as it is.<br />
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<i>... complete power, and soon after replaced Emperor Shao with Emperor Xian.</i><br />
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<i>Enraged by Dong Zhuo's audacity, feudal lords across the land banded together against the usurper, and, led by Yuan Shao, formed the "Anti-Dong Zhuo Coalition."</i><br />
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Some of them wanted to call it "The Coalition Against Dong Zhuo." Wankers.<br />
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<i>... declared the new capital. At the same time, internal conflict flared up between coalition members. The coalition dissolved, and the feudal lords returned to their territories to concentrate on expanding their own individual forces.</i><br />
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"Anti-Dong Zhuo Coalition!"<br />
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"Coalition Against Dong Zhuo!"<br />
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"Judean People's Front!"<br />
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<i>In the Central Plains, Cao Cao -- who had subdued the Yellow Turbans in Qing -- took control of Yan and was preparing to attack his father's killer, Tao Qian of Xu.</i><br />
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<i>In Jing, Sun Jian met his untimely end in a heated battle against Liu Biao. His oldest sun, Sun Ce, quickly stepped up to continue his father's legacy.</i><br />
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<i>... the girl to both men. He then convinced Lu Bu to carry out Dong Zhuo's assassination. Lu Bu was driven from the capital by loyalists of Dong Zhuo. Along with Li Jue, he began searching for a base to call home.</i><br />
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Lu Bu could not be more swag if he tried.<br />
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Next time: we actually begin the game!Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-23195527453378450352013-07-13T10:40:00.002-07:002013-07-13T10:40:14.145-07:00Let's Play Hotline Miami<center>
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The Steam Summer Sale is in full swing, and I picked up <i>Hotline Miami</i> for just $2.49. I'm not sure why it took me so long to finally play it, but based on what I'd heard about it, I thought it might make for a good LP video to record my first half hour or so with it.<br />
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Towards the end, I pretty much go completely, violently insane. So I think we'll call this a success.Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-89983846717058851692013-07-12T16:39:00.000-07:002013-07-12T17:20:57.246-07:00Fridays are Magic: Recasting FFVI, Part One<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Pretty light posting this week, huh? (And by that I mean, zero posting whatsoever.) In my defense, I had midterms to deal with and didn't really have a chance to get out do anything worth writing a blog post on. But now it's Friday again, and it is my solemn duty to write something about ponies.<br />
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<a href="http://www.dawnsomewhere.com/" target="_blank">FiMFlamFilosophy</a> is a name a lot of bronies might be familiar with. He's the mind and voice behind <i>The Mentally Advanced Series</i> and <i>Rainbow Dash Presents</i>, one of the two big <i>Friendship is Magic</i> abridges series' and a semi-animated, goofy retelling of some of the fandom's more messed-up fanfics, respectively. TMAS is a bit of an acquired taste--it takes a little getting used to the fact that one guy is voicing all of the female characters, and the humor is so dry it could be used as kindling--and RBDP relies on quite a bit of outside knowledge of the fandom, but as a member of both target audiences, I highly recommend checking them out.<br />
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Recently, he's been playing through <i><a href="http://pony-fantasy-6.com/" target="_blank">Pony Fantasy VI</a></i>, an overhaul of my favorite game of all time, <i>Final Fantasy VI </i>(or <i>III</i>, on the SNES in America), only with the main cast replaced by ponies. Combining colorful pastel equines with the greatest JRPG of all time should be right up my alley, and yet the more I see, the more frustrated I'm getting. Ponies and FF6 were never going to fit all that well together, but for all the effort the game's creator obviously put into making custom sprites and rewriting tons of dialogue, time and again he seems to have forsaken chances at doing something clever in favor of pushing some obnoxious bit of fanon or referencing a meme.<br />
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It's frustrating to watch, but Flam's done a damned good job already going through the game and pointing out its flaws. No, I'm not interested in critiquing <i>Pony Fantasy VI</i>; I'm just curious if a good story could have been made out of it at all.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>For you Philistines who haven't played <i>Final Fantasy VI</i>, here's as brief a recap as I can manage. A mysterious girl named Terra with magical powers unseen in over one thousand years is brainwashed into service of the evil Empire. An encounter with a creature frozen in ice--an esper--breaks the Empire's control, and she's quickly recruited into the Resistance, an alliance of rebels and free states dedicated to, well, resisting the Empire's advances. Eventually, the Emperor is betrayed by his insane right-hand-man, Kefka, who claims ultimate power, nearly destroys the world, and then rules what's left for awhile as an arbitrary and vengeful god.<br />
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That's the very, <i>very</i> broad strokes, of course. The meat of the game comes from its cast of characters and their individual journeys. There's Locke, the treasure hunter, whose carefree swagger masks a deep insecurity after failing to protect someone he loved. Celes, the former Imperial general, infused with magic as a child and raised to be a loyal and fearless soldier. Edgar and Sabin, the Princes of Figaro, and the fateful coin toss who decided which brother would take the throne and which would be free to live his own life. Even the characters you <i>don't</i> get to play are often memorable and compelling, like General Leo, the honorable and brave Imperial commander who stands against Kefka as an increasingly lonely voice of sanity and reason.<br />
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There's a lot going on. Trying to add ponies into this mix and make it actually work is a daunting task. So how would we go about it?<br />
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Again, I'm not interested in what <i>Pony Fantasy VI</i> did. We're taking this idea from scratch.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">
The Villains</span></b><br />
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Before we can figure out how to cast our protagonists, we should probably figure out what they're going to be fighting against. Let's take a look at <i>Final Fantasy VI</i>'s roster of bad guys.<br />
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<b>Emperor Gestahl</b> is, as you might expect, the head of the Empire. Early into his reign, he discovered an unsealed entrance into the Esper World, where the Espers had all retreated after the destruction they caused in the War of the Magi. Desiring the magical power the Espers wielded--power that had been absent from the world for a millenia--his army waged a campaign against them, capturing or killing hundreds of them. Gestahl then began experiment on these creatures, seeking to find some way to take their magic and put it to use for his own megalomaniacal purposes.<br />
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<b>Kefka</b> was the first result of Gestahl's attempts to fuse magic and mortals. A brave and heroic young soldier before, the process drove Kefka utterly mad. He became obsessed with destruction and power, and when the opportunity arose to seize all the magical might he could ever dream of, he took it. Despite being presented as a bit goofy and incompetent early on in the game, Kefka's ruthless psychopathy is never in doubt, and he eventually becomes the game's primary villain--and one of the greatest video game villains of all time, to boot.<br />
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<b>General Leo</b> isn't a bad guy. He's actually one of the best people on the planet, all things considered; he's just working for the wrong team. Leo is, essentially, Ned Stark. He's honorable, courageous, and disgusted by the underhanded tactics his superiors and colleagues are willing to use. When a group of Espers is released from their realm and go on a rampage, he befriends the party and works together with them in good faith to make peace with the Espers and bring the war to an end. And then, much like Ned Stark, Leo realizes that he's been played for a fool this entire time; Kefka (under Gestahl's orders) attacks the peace summit, taking out Espers and heroes alike. Leo stands against him, and is killed for it.<br />
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<b>General Celes</b> isn't a bad girl, either. She was infused with magic at a young age (after the process had been stabilized following the disaster with Kefka) and raised to be a good, loyal soldier. Around the time the game starts, she begins to question Emperor Gestahl's motives, and is branded a traitor. In-game, she's never actually working for the bad guys (a questionable moment or two aside), and she eventually becomes just as much the main character as Terra. However, she did some pretty awful stuff before she broke ties with the Empire, and so she should be included here.<br />
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<b>Cid</b> isn't a bad guy, either... at least as far as we see. Emperor Gestahl's chief scientist, he's the guy in charge of experimenting on Espers, harnessing Magitek power, and turning soldiers into magic-wielding demigods. He basically raised Celes, acting as her surrogate father, and helps the party on her behalf. Of course,<i> before</i> this, he was conducting sick and twisted experiments on a group of unwilling captives for almost two decades. Being nice to to your adopted daughter doesn't make up for all your war crimes and atrocities.<br />
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So, we've got our primary antagonists. We're building a ponified version of this game, and our goals are thus:<br />
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<b>1) </b>Cast existing villains/antagonists in roles that are the most appropriate for their canon personalities.<br />
<b>2) </b>Casting should keep in mind the original characters' particular alliances and rivalries, given that they will be sharing scenes together.<br />
<b>3) </b>Important primary and supporting roles should be given only to characters who are named and who have speaking roles on the show, with exceptions to be made for characters like Derpy who are widely recognizable even to casual fans.<br />
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So. Villains. Let's do this.<br />
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<b>Emperor Gestahl</b> will be played by <b>Discord</b>. Discord is a powerful demigod of chaos. The obvious role for him would be Kefka, and it's very tempting to cast him there. After all, Kefka is one of the most popular villains in gaming history, and Discord is easily the most popular antagonist in <i>Friendship is Magic</i>. But! At the end of the day, Discord is a bit of a harmless goofball. He's menacing, cruel, and supremely powerful, but he's not exactly <i>evil</i>. This isn't a character who would destroy the world in order to seize power... and why would he, when he already <i>has</i> it? Casting Discord as Gestahl immediately explains why he's in charge--he wanted to be, and who was going to stop him?--and, given that the heroes' interactions with Gestahl are all non-violent, we will be able to <i>hint</i> at Discord's power without ever putting a concrete value to it and making him a physical obstacle the heroes must overcome.<br />
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<b>Kefka</b> will be played by <b>the Great and Powerful TRIXIE!</b> Incompetent, goofy villain with a ruthless streak, repeatedly defeated by the heroes? Check. Desire for ultimate arcane power and willingness to abuse ancient artifacts to get it? Check. Trixie is a natural fit as Kefka. While she may not be as outright evil as the mad clown, her pride and arrogance are more than a match for his. There's also the possibility to make Trixie a more sympathetic villain than Kefka, at the end. Instead of <i>intentionally</i> destroying villages at a whim, she could be having difficulty controlling her new power, and growing increasingly paranoid and lonely atop her tower built from the ruins of her former home. In the end, maybe she'll even thank the heroes for defeating her. (This being a pony game, if it were at all possible, I'd prefer to have her escape the collapsing tower alive and have her in the epilogue. I'm not sure that's doable within the engine's limitations, though.)<br />
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<b>General Leo</b> will be played by <b>Gilda. </b>Kind of a weird choice, aye? Well, this version of Leo wouldn't be quite the hero he was originally. Gilda's significantly rougher around the edges and dedicated to being "cool," but then, we don't really know much else about her other than that she used to be best friends with Rainbow Dash. We know Dash is kind of a jerk, too, but ultimately one with a heart of gold; is it a stretch to think that, underneath her pride and contempt, Gilda has some sort of moral compass as well? After being standoffish but basically not evil during her previous appearances, Gilda's moral threshold could be crossed during Kefka/Trixie's betrayal of the Espers; she stands up for what's right, and she gets smacked down for it. She wouldn't be as likable as Leo, but she might actually be more interesting.<br />
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<b>General Celes</b> will be played by <b>Rarity</b>. I admit, my favoritism might be showing through, here. Celes, despite being central to the story and one of the primary leads, is honestly kind of boring. She's a good and loyal soldier, and she's a bit cold and distant, and... she kinda likes Locke? Eventually? One of the only real character moments she gets is in the Opera House, when she goes undercover to pose as the singer that Setzer (more on him later) is coming to kidnap and seduce. Putting Rarity in her place not only immediately infuses life and humor into Celes' dialogue, but it lets us say more about the Empire and its society. Rarity, being Rarity, would of course still be interested in fashion and romance and nobility and whatnot, and--being the party's representative of the Empire--would also provide a window into what life is like down there when giant, Magitek robot suits aren't involved. Plus, if we <i>must</i> have a romance in this game, there's no better match for her than my choice for Locke...<br />
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<b>Cid</b> will be played by... I'm honestly not sure yet. Honestly, Cid is an exception to my guidelines above. He doesn't <i>need</i> to be an existing character, because his only role in the story is to be the person Celes cares about most. I suppose we <i>could</i> put Sweetie Belle in that role, but then we'd have an eight-year-old girl playing, essentially, Himmler. I am not comfortable with this. So, Cid will likely just be an original character with a distinct design, maybe based off one of the background ponies. (Doctor Whooves? Hrm.)<br />
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I think we've got a decent start, here. Next time, we discuss the heroes and the setting itself. Stay tuned.Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-73715614038437545262013-07-05T16:12:00.000-07:002013-07-05T16:13:59.202-07:00Fridays are Magic: Adventure Edition!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I've been playing D&D for a little over a decade. I've been reading D&D <i>books</i> for far longer, but I didn't actually start playing until after high school, when I moved across the country and needed to build some sort of social structure to avoid turning into a crazed hermit (rather than the normal kind I became instead). I've played 3rd Edition, 3.5, 4E (and may I never have to play that again), and various spinoffs like d20 Modern or SpyCraft. I've also played a few other systems, like Vampire: The Masquerade and Legend of the Five Rings, though not nearly as many as I would actually <i>like</i> to.<br />
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Of late, though, my gaming group has finally settled on a single gaming system that we can all agree is pretty fun: Pathfinder, Paizo's revamp/overhaul of the D&D 3.5 ruleset into something bigger, better, and more fun than its predecessor. Pathfinder streamlines a lot of 3rd Edition's more complex oddities, introduces a few new ideas that add a lot of fun and value to the game, and comes complete with a setting vast and varied enough to contain any campaign idea you can think of, somehow without homogenizing everything into a bland soup like the Forgotten Realms. It's good stuff.<br />
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In seemingly unrelated news, a bit of boredom led to my discovery that some generous soul had taken the old program HeroMachine--a free, Flash-based costume designer/paper doll thingee my group had long used to create quick, cheap, and rather goofy-looking portraits for our characters--<a href="http://www.heromachine.com/heromachine-3-lab/" target="_blank">and updated it to a new version</a>, with tons of new features and customization options. I immediately set about sinking <i>far</i> too many hours into it, hoping to learn its secrets and use this newfound power for my own nefarious purposes. To do this, I needed characters that I could design. Being a brony, well, it didn't take long to figure out who.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>I've mentioned before that, seeing as Hasbro owns both <i>My Little Pony</i> and D&D, it's entirely possible--even likely--that any beast from the <i>Monster Manual</i> you care to name could exist somewhere in Equestria. We've seen hydras and dragons and minotaurs, so why not beholders or illithid? Continuing on that line of thought, if Equestria potentially shares so much in common with a typical D&D campaign setting, well, what would other aspects of the world look like with a dusting of swords and sorcery?<br />
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It's a question that's been asked before, and answered quite well. Artists have drawn the Mane Six as heroic campaigners, both in human and pony form. Writers have sent them on epic quests to battle forgotten horrors. And hell, there's even <a href="http://friendshipisdragons.thecomicseries.com/" target="_blank">a pretty successful screencap comic</a> <i>a la</i> <a href="http://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=612" target="_blank">DM of the Rings</a> that sets the show as the backdrop to a 4th Edition game.<br />
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Different folks have come up with different ideas of how our six heroines would work as an adventuring party, and what roles they would play. And now, so have I. Mwa ha ha.<br />
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<b>Behold, Applejack the Paladin!</b><br />
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Strong, honest, loyal, and doughty, AJ basically embodies the tenets of the Lawful Good alignment without really trying. True, most paladins are thought of as knights in shining full plate, chivalrous, refined, and gallant, but that's not true of all of them. Applejack would likely draw her power from a deity like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chauntea" target="_blank">Chauntea</a> or <a href="http://www.pathfinderwiki.com/wiki/Erastil" target="_blank">Erastil</a>, Lawful Good deities focused on families, small communities, farming, and other rural pursuits.<br />
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<b>Avant! 'Tis Fluttershy the Cleric!</b><br />
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Yes, I fully realize that the obvious choice of a class for Fluttershy is the Druid, a class based entirely around harmony with nature and summoning lots of beasts to do your fighting for you. However, I can't really picture 'Shy wearing tanned animal hides or ordering her little friends into harm's way. Instead, I've made her a Cleric, a divine servant of a deity like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mielikki_(Forgotten_Realms)" target="_blank">Mielikki</a> or <a href="http://www.pathfinderwiki.com/wiki/Gozreh" target="_blank">Gozreh</a>, gods of nature who encourage their followers to live much as druids do, just without the dead animal skins.<br />
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<b> What, ho! 'Tis Pinkie Pie the Bard!</b><br />
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Come on, like she was going to be any other class.<br />
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<b>Who goes there?! Why, 'tis Rainbow Dash the Fighter!</b><br />
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First off, I'm not really happy with her design. Rainbow Dash is, perhaps ironically, a <i>really</i> difficult character to make look cool as anything but, well, Rainbow Dash. It's not impossible--I've seen it done--but she's composed entirely of strong, bold, clashing colors. For a guy who likes to balance strong colors out with neutral browns and grays, she's a bit of a challenge.<br />
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Anyway! I debated about whether to make Dash a Fighter or a Barbarian. After some thought, I realized that, while Dash is often brash, easily annoyed, and ready to engage in direct action, the core of her character is really just a big softy, not an insane juggernaut of unstoppable rage. Plus, while she's a naturally gifted flyer, becoming a Wonderbolt is as much about skill and training as pure talent. She's a Fighter, both in temperament and ambition.<br />
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<b>Hark! 'Tis Twilight Sparkle the Wizard!</b><br />
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Again, really, what other class could Twi possibly be? She's got raw magical talent and natural leadership (the signs of a high Charisma score in D&D) but she's also a genius bookworm who has to study spells to learn them (the signs of an Intelligence-based Wizard).<br />
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So, well... you're a wizard, Twilight.<br />
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<b><i>En guarde!</i> 'Tis Rarity, the Multiclassed Rogue/Sorcerer!</b><br />
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Rarity was kind of a tough one to pin down. She's very definitely a Charisma-based character, and as a unicorn, she's a natural spellcaster. These things say Sorcerer. On the other hand, while she's shown a high degree of skill in a limited number of magical applications, she clearly has nowhere near the raw power or potential of her fellow unicorn, Twilight Sparkle. Making her a pure Sorcerer would not just match her pound-for-pound with Twi, it would actually make her <i>stronger</i>, just less versatile. And while Best Pony she may be, we can't really have <i>that</i>.<br />
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Instead, I decided that she'd be the group's social tank, leveling primarily as a Rogue so she could sink tons of ranks into skills like Bluff, Diplomacy, Craft (Tailor) and Knowledge (Nobility). She'd be the group's guide to courtly behavior and intrigue, with a little specialized magic to help her in her role, while still able to step up to the front lines when need be.<br />
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Plus, there was the whole Tom thing. You don't <i>get</i> much more Rogue-y than that.<br />
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Anyway! I was hoping to have some stats to go along with these portraits, but <strike>was up far too late playing <i>The Walking Dead: 400 Days</i></strike> ran short on time. If I don't get lazy, I'll throw 'em up on the blog her over the course of the week.<br />
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Oh, and my new headset has arrived, which means I can start recording Let's Plays again. Which means I can get back to <i>Battlefield 3 </i>and <i>Two Worlds II</i>. Yaaay.Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-54844842212225133802013-07-02T18:03:00.002-07:002013-07-02T18:08:23.528-07:00Weekday Review: White House Down<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOv9L10PSal5EyvSF0evfAkn7-johdpo1RIB8oybyZzJB6rFqdNUrpLG7sBeZZoQJ3Fp-QVhBZ1wrgoMq2GFAz9UaYc3jwSVsgmPIfxxKDOZ213GwNg9KYWU_tWMbjvB1giZW6cA3LnLBi/s605/White_House_Down_27.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOv9L10PSal5EyvSF0evfAkn7-johdpo1RIB8oybyZzJB6rFqdNUrpLG7sBeZZoQJ3Fp-QVhBZ1wrgoMq2GFAz9UaYc3jwSVsgmPIfxxKDOZ213GwNg9KYWU_tWMbjvB1giZW6cA3LnLBi/s400/White_House_Down_27.jpg" width="270" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">John McClane and President Barack Obama<br />
in: <i>Die Hard 4</i>.</td></tr>
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Hey, did you know that there was a new <i>Die Hard</i> movie? It's pretty good. It's definitely a throwback to the original in a lot of ways; there's a single location that gets explored throughout the movie to give it a real sense of place, there's a lone badass-but-not-superhuman action hero dealing with a broken marriage and a strained relationship with his kid, and a crew of highly specialized bad guys (and a bunch of grunts) whose actual goal is slowly revealed throughout the movie. There aren't any cars being launched into helicopters, no one ever cruises through a city while hanging onto the wing of an F-16, and the action--while fun and exciting--never really strays all <i>that</i> far from reality (save for our hero's remarkable Constitution score).<br />
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I mean, it's not <i>officially</i> a <i>Die Hard</i> movie, but it's the closest we're going to get to a sequel. I mean, it's not like they're still making those. I wouldn't complain if they did, of course, but they'd probably just turn them into stupid, mindless action flicks with none of the charm or uniqueness that made the original such a classic, and that would be terrible.<br />
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No, the movie's actually called <i>White House Down</i>. It stars Channing Tatum as John McClane. Er, John <i>Cale</i>. John's recently returned from Afghanistan after enlisting to flee his failing marriage, and is working as a bodyguard for the Speaker of the House in Washington, D.C. He wants to join the actual Secret Service, mainly because he thinks it might score points with his 11-year-old daughter and future PoliSci major, Emily, who has a few issues with her dad thanks to him running off to the other side of the world for eight years. The two of them are touring the White House when a team of Totally Not Blackwater mercenaries, white supremacist sociopaths, and treacherous, Arab-hating Secret Service agents launch a coup against President Barack Notobama, played by Jaime Foxx.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqyguZxiiDtEAFjO8YzZhleigXmHY0RIdsYSpkGl1A2qmSld0UsIiC_f4onKs1pG8ZDSEqo8tjsC2T5RcMgQehSCGUzQ0XcEtVbI2JcbaM02OJAG3PIet0FNFiRTXKVZ71v1LswURL_uFN/s1600/White-House-Down-12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqyguZxiiDtEAFjO8YzZhleigXmHY0RIdsYSpkGl1A2qmSld0UsIiC_f4onKs1pG8ZDSEqo8tjsC2T5RcMgQehSCGUzQ0XcEtVbI2JcbaM02OJAG3PIet0FNFiRTXKVZ71v1LswURL_uFN/s320/White-House-Down-12.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yup, it's a <i>Die Hard</i> movie.</td></tr>
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The rest of the film is, as I've alluded, <i>Die Hard</i>. John Cale creeps around the White House, up and down elevator shafts and through every window the place has, taking out the bad guys one or two at a time and slowly building up a respectable arsenal. There's a hacker set up in the heart of the complex, with a big ol' timer counting down to the completion of some objective. The leader of the coup exchanges threats and demands with John's helpful friend on the outside who is constantly shackled by imposing authority figures (Maggie Gyllenhaal). One of the hostages with a personal connection to him (Emily, played by Joey King) eventually has that connection exposed by incautious reporters, and she's used as bait to draw him out. Eventually, our bloody and battered hero manages to whittle down the bad guys' ranks, he takes out the Big Bad in some suitably hilarious and awesome way, and then he's reunited with his family after finally earning their love and respect.<br />
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There's copying <i>Die Hard's </i>template, and then there's copying <i>Die Hard</i>. I'm not sure where the line is, but this movie is hovering right over it.<br />
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There are differences, of course, mainly in the addition of a secondary heroic lead in the form of Django himself, Jaime Foxx. His character--President Sawyer--is probably the main reason you might have heard of this film. He is, with absolutely zero subtlety or attempt at concealment, President Barack Obama. Literally casting the President--<i>any</i> President, really, save perhaps for Teddy Roosevelt--as the hero of an action flick is undoubtedly going to draw controversy, but when it's <i>this</i> already extremely controversial President, well, there's a bit of discomfort.<br />
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I'm going to need to talk politics just for a bit, in the interest of full disclosure. I've voted for President Obama twice, and I have never regretted it. I do not agree with him on every issue, nor do I think he hasn't made any serious missteps. However, I think many of his detractors severely underestimate the scope of the challenges and opposition he has faced every moment since coming to office--hell, since winning the election. I also think he's a good person; a politician, to be sure, guided by pragmatism and political reality before all else, but a basically decent human being. So, yes, the high concept of "President Obama with a rocket launcher takes on Blackwater, the KKK, and Dick Cheney" is pretty much all I needed to hear to be sold on this movie.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqUwLJCiO17Qcg-EK7iBY7_cwT5Li3kOPh6wvnzpyy71e9Pp30gpmljsrk4dXdxg8g1W8n3dr8VXSfq0aJnjg5NhUO8DrAGA2UY5Yffp1y6nzUDUD4oBuGf29RkFdDMyseD0E09JK6vou-/s960/President+Badass.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqUwLJCiO17Qcg-EK7iBY7_cwT5Li3kOPh6wvnzpyy71e9Pp30gpmljsrk4dXdxg8g1W8n3dr8VXSfq0aJnjg5NhUO8DrAGA2UY5Yffp1y6nzUDUD4oBuGf29RkFdDMyseD0E09JK6vou-/s320/President+Badass.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pictured: the movie this should have been.</td></tr>
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That said, President Sawyer's role isn't actually as superheroic as one might have been lead to expect. He's not a fighter; the two scenes of him doing action-y stuff in the trailer are pretty much it. That isn't to say that he's weak or useless; he's smart, reasonably athletic, and keeps a cool head in a crisis. Mostly, he's John Cale's sidekick, but he still has plenty of chances to show his own, quieter brand of courage.<br />
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It's also worth noting that one of the Bad Guys is an ex-NSA hacker turned anti-authoritarian anarchist. Given one of the big stories in the news the last few weeks, this is honestly kinda spooky. They even <i>look</i> alike. I don't know if discussing the similarities to Edward Snowden are a very good idea, especially considering that my own views are apparently deeply unpopular, though, so perhaps I should just let this paragraph end.<br />
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And, well, that's really all I've got to say. I enjoyed the film quite a bit, even if it wasn't quite the <i>President Django vs. the World </i>movie I was hoping for, and even if it was <i>extremely</i> derivative of <i>Die Hard</i>. I mean, there are far worse films to rip off, and I'm glad to see that someone's trying to bring the series back to life.<br />
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God, just imagine if they tried to keep making new ones with Bruce Willis. They'd probably give all the movies really stupid pun titles, too. Thank goodness Hollywood just let that dead horse lie.Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1651859080490934434.post-17859012530979253282013-06-28T14:28:00.001-07:002013-06-28T20:37:50.681-07:00Fridays are Magic: Fan Fiction<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUgyK_oUM7F5vPLpKJmAg31yHLJ99pnYU7_2KUi6nn4TuaVlwz_2mzCSBzjhi3Ws0FUxO_vNXV4Wz6_-ESnvZEYYhTMo8_UfW0-BtTOPkz8Z1Sa9Hqa425Q6nkmYuMu3_ycNsFWjQsMY8f/s1406/twilight+and+a+book.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="178" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUgyK_oUM7F5vPLpKJmAg31yHLJ99pnYU7_2KUi6nn4TuaVlwz_2mzCSBzjhi3Ws0FUxO_vNXV4Wz6_-ESnvZEYYhTMo8_UfW0-BtTOPkz8Z1Sa9Hqa425Q6nkmYuMu3_ycNsFWjQsMY8f/s320/twilight+and+a+book.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Would you like to read my Lyra/Bon-Bon adventure 'fic?"</td></tr>
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Way back when I started this blog (a whole not-quite-two-months ago!), I mentioned offhand that <a href="http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Kavonde" target="_blank">I've written <i>Friendship is Magic </i>fan fiction</a>. As with most aspects of my broniness, I was initially really embarrassed by this, and it took a lot of... I don't want to say "courage," but something sort of like it... to come clean about what I was doing. I wasn't writing weird stuff or anything like that--no clop, thank you--but it seemed very, very strange to me that, after years of lethargy, the muse that finally inspired me to start writing again was a cute cartoon show for little girls.<br />
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As I've mentioned, I find FiM's world to be really fascinating. The show rarely goes into the history of the setting, but a lot can be extrapolated from the things we know and occasional glimpses into the past. The story of "Hearth's Warming Eve" shows us that, long ago, the earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns lived in separate and culturally diverse realms. They eventually united to found Equestria, and some indeterminate time after that, Celestia and Luna came to rule it. During their reign, they came into conflict with a chaotic demigod named Discord and sealed him in stone. And, eventually, Luna was turned to the Dark Side by a shadowy force known as "Nightmare" and launched an ultimately failed <i>coup</i> against her sister.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuuryn5p_oUa-Jzvp5u2cYFDhLRlxRw_TsfqlviBr_dqfbDq_n4tmPR54UQw8Th7lkZnL1TSujLS1h7kU7oq6jlI296lBMrL1HgnB9OA0P1BHLvTydwAh-0XaCab3PUX49q7-kmaIv4Pqu/s900/fluttershy+and+cerberus.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="127" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuuryn5p_oUa-Jzvp5u2cYFDhLRlxRw_TsfqlviBr_dqfbDq_n4tmPR54UQw8Th7lkZnL1TSujLS1h7kU7oq6jlI296lBMrL1HgnB9OA0P1BHLvTydwAh-0XaCab3PUX49q7-kmaIv4Pqu/s200/fluttershy+and+cerberus.png" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Behold, the savage beastmaster.</td></tr>
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A few other bits of setting detail hint at the past. The literal Gates of Tartarus exist--within a few days' gallop of Ponyville, no less--and are said to contain many of Equestria's greatest foes. The season three premiere featured King Sombra, the ruler of a once-powerful empire who used his sorcery to trap his subjects outside of time and space, becoming a creature of smoke and shadow in the process. Ancient pegasi certainly seemed to have a Spartan aesthetic, and we've seen at least three monsters straight out of Greek myth: griffons, hydras, and minotaurs. Are they related? Is there a common history between them? There are zebras, their culture apparently based on African shamanism; where do they come from? There are mules and donkeys and cows that all seem to have human-level intelligence; what is their role within Equestrian society?<br />
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These questions aren't likely to be addressed within the show itself. Some of them might be, eventually; the answers to almost all of them are, apparently, contained in the show bible Lauren Faust created several years ago. But for every question you could think to ask, you can bet that a fan of the show has already come up with an answer, and some of those answers might be better than even Faust's.<br />
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Quite frankly, from a world-building perspective, fanfiction is magic.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXSM2yzSHcvPrGMiP62xu670EHS7KeUEiyDRTw3rpdSLxTHfTzVpoMZmOEQUR6736_2yfKLRLrwR3YlCe3RlJwdKlPGh8cAjfdnDhwEoID3WPRMO-yfXCISgPnm8KH39oKD9-0ScUHrKNA/s958/fallout__equestria_by_felixattchar-d4m7ljs.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXSM2yzSHcvPrGMiP62xu670EHS7KeUEiyDRTw3rpdSLxTHfTzVpoMZmOEQUR6736_2yfKLRLrwR3YlCe3RlJwdKlPGh8cAjfdnDhwEoID3WPRMO-yfXCISgPnm8KH39oKD9-0ScUHrKNA/s200/fallout__equestria_by_felixattchar-d4m7ljs.png" width="187" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yes, of <i>course</i> this exists.</td></tr>
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I'm familiar with maybe a fraction of the work written by my fellow brony wannabe-authors, and some of it I only know through osmosis. I know the general idea behind the massively popular <i><a href="http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/04/story-fallout-equestria.html" target="_blank">Fallout: Equestria</a></i> series (and the shared universe it created), though I've never been particularly motivated to slog through multiple novel-length stories about ponies with mohawks and power armor. I'm familiar with <i><a href="http://www.fimfiction.net/group/26/the-conversion-bureau" target="_blank">The Conversion Bureau</a></i>, a story wherein the human world has merged with the pony one, and human volunteers are allowed to take equine form, even if I have no particular desire to read it or the many, <i>many</i> spinoffs it produced. I know of several authors who have become big deals in the community, who host panels or hawk self-printed copies of their works at conventions.<br />
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It's also where most of my knowledge and understanding of the various background characters comes from. Once you've read <i><a href="http://www.fimfiction.net/story/24/the-vinyl-scratch-tapes" target="_blank">The Vinyl Scratch Tapes</a></i>, you're always going to see Scratch and Octavia as vitriolic best friends (and maybe something more). It's hard not to wonder if Lyra's talking to Bon-Bon about humans whenever you see them in the background if you're familiar with <i><a href="https://www.fimfiction.net/story/4656/anthropology" target="_blank">Anthropology</a></i>. And you will <i>never</i> stop wondering what the hell Cloud Kicker's up to once you've gotten into <i><a href="http://www.fimfiction.net/story/28239/the-life-and-times-of-a-winning-pony" target="_blank">The Life and Times of a Winning Pony</a></i>.<br />
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As with any fandom, a lot of the stuff being produced is pretty lackluster. For every <i><a href="http://www.fimfiction.net/story/29902/smiling-flowers" target="_blank">Smiling Flowers</a></i>, you have a story about Trixie going Super Saiyan and battling Twilight over the skies of Canterlot. (Actually, that sounds kind of awesome.) And then you have some of the more infamous stuff like <i>Cupcakes</i> or <i>Rainbow Factory</i>. (You can get the links yourself, thanks.) And then you have the clop. The horrible, horrible clop.<br />
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But every now and then, you find a story that's genuinely good and that really expands on your understanding of these characters and the world they live in. Here's a few of them.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZrW2s6VhLgWe4lYpIjhdCA_3YKcKuKhMmjhEaOVoa4oYlrJcGFIQTAwUmYiVoCfLdNyd-OrWJH9863NqqT2N_OsDSThTKIvk3mHRc-TZ4HMLIciQZPaIILODleBUDt_xGZ5iYi4wAdBa5/s701/best+night+ever.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZrW2s6VhLgWe4lYpIjhdCA_3YKcKuKhMmjhEaOVoa4oYlrJcGFIQTAwUmYiVoCfLdNyd-OrWJH9863NqqT2N_OsDSThTKIvk3mHRc-TZ4HMLIciQZPaIILODleBUDt_xGZ5iYi4wAdBa5/s200/best+night+ever.jpg" width="152" /></a></div>
<i><a href="http://www.fimfiction.net/story/18087/the-best-night-ever" target="_blank">The Best Night Ever</a></i>, by Cap'n Chrysallid, is one of my favorite fanworks of all time. It's a pastiche of Bill Murray's classic <i>Groundhog Day</i>, in which the main character was trapped in a seemingly endless cycle of repeating a single day over and over again until he could get things to go exactly right. This version stars Prince Blueblood, the object of Rarity's obsession (and subsequent disappointment, and subsequent rage) throughout the show's first season. (He's also a character I sort of adopted for my own stories.) Forced to relive the day of the Grand Galloping Gala repeatedly, Blueblood is gradually forced to grow into a genuinely decent pony; it only takes him a century or so of madness, despair, suicide, and--at least once--destroying the world to get him there. It's brilliantly written, it's completely hilarious, and I love it to pieces. You should read it.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIaxd-ce1Tn2iJWjVeVXHeFKPEetGQdhQgNtROhVH5OqqEF_1iI7Q29qtXIRDUaIoXLgACXuJ_LPFPbBSPmtlYbd-GMBGIwU7YylutY3cwaDECBLFII73P7-NqTj6YK_ZEJ_BaVrRbWCEy/s1420/flight+of+the+alicorn.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIaxd-ce1Tn2iJWjVeVXHeFKPEetGQdhQgNtROhVH5OqqEF_1iI7Q29qtXIRDUaIoXLgACXuJ_LPFPbBSPmtlYbd-GMBGIwU7YylutY3cwaDECBLFII73P7-NqTj6YK_ZEJ_BaVrRbWCEy/s200/flight+of+the+alicorn.png" width="141" /></a></div>
<i><a href="http://www.fimfiction.net/story/6007/the-flight-of-the-alicorn" target="_blank">The Flight of the Alicorn</a></i>, by Ponydora Prancypants, is a story that I might be a bit of a zealot about promoting. It's a novel-length tale in which Rarity finds herself the only pony who can stop a war between the griffons and Equestria, which puts her squarely in the crosshairs of a massive conspiracy determined to see it happen. Intrigue, betrayal, romance, action, adventure, exploration, world-building, steampunk airships and ancient arcane artifacts, this story has everything. It's also written by a man who has a deep knowledge of and affection for the kind of lifestyle that Rarity herself so desires, which gives a bit of detail and genuineness to the proceedings that most folks couldn't hope to muster. It's not just one of my favorite 'fics, it's one of my favorite books, period. And if you're not convinced already that Rarity is best pony, <i>you will be</i>.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFAoBj85gY94RbNUCHTrGr4QtSOxtb65WqJOjGi17VcvQJl8lhY39Ism94LdqnIOTC2oQtpxM6cM0BDY-_p9f8C6UaxP8KQii9UFhRsA2DC1jKxpN-kOVwz7m53s91Ve3CysA2ovKBXU_R/s400/school+daze.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="115" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFAoBj85gY94RbNUCHTrGr4QtSOxtb65WqJOjGi17VcvQJl8lhY39Ism94LdqnIOTC2oQtpxM6cM0BDY-_p9f8C6UaxP8KQii9UFhRsA2DC1jKxpN-kOVwz7m53s91Ve3CysA2ovKBXU_R/s200/school+daze.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
I've mentioned that I love Cheerilee, right? She's not a character that's had a lot of screentime, but I've got a lot of respect for her as a fellow teacher-type-person, and her starring role in the season two episode "Hearts and Hooves Day" won me over. (There's a little scene near the beginning where the Cutie Mark Crusaders are pestering her about not having a "special somepony" on Equestria's version of Valentine's Day, and she gives <a href="https://derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTMvMDMvMTEvMTZfMjNfMTRfODM0XzI2ODIzM19fVU5PUFRfX3NhZmVfc2Nvb3RhbG9vX2FwcGxlX2Jsb29tX3N3ZWV0aWVfYmVsbGVfY2hlZXJpbGVlX2hlYXJ0c19hbmRfaG9vdmVzX2RheV9ncnVtcHkuanBnIl1d/268233__safe_scootaloo_apple-bloom_sweetie-belle_cheerilee_hearts-and-hooves-day_grumpy.jpg" target="_blank">this <i>look</i></a> that's just amazing before forcing herself back into teacher mode.) Another big contribution to that is Paleo Prints' <a href="http://www.fimfiction.net/story/2432/school-daze" style="font-style: italic;" target="_blank">School Daze</a>, a story which transplants Cheeri into a 80's "let's save the school/orphanage/dorm" movie, complete with, I kid you not, actual musical montages. Paleo's a teacher himself, as is his wife (who his Cheeri draws a lot of inspiration from), and <i>School Daze</i> is one of the most heartwarming and hilarious and fun fanfics I've ever read.<br />
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There's a lot of other stories I could recommend--I've mentioned some of them already--but if you're at all interested in reading some genuinely good ponyfic, those three would be my recommendations of where to start. You could also, I suppose, read <a href="http://www.fimfiction.net/story/28260/a-teacher-with-no-class" target="_blank">my stories about Blueblood</a>, if you're interested in reading a long, meandering adventure tale about a classical antihero and his screwed up Oedipal complex towards his adopted sister and a tendency to make everything around him get worse and worse, only to have things end with a sudden, unfinished conclusion coupled with an apology from the author.<br />
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Ahem.<br />
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Anyway, that's all the ponies for today. Right now, two disparate groups of people are tearing up the floor of my home and replacing it with slightly fancier versions thereof. It's a bit loud and distracting, you see. I'm hoping to see either <i>White House Down</i> or <i>This is the End</i> (or, ehh, <i>World War Z)</i> this weekend, so I imagine the next post will be a review. Until then, well, you've got plenty of recommendations of other things to read, so maybe you should get on that.Kavondehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06401347429077717345noreply@blogger.com0